In this article, I want to offer some counter-perspective on the topic of “chasing women”.
Let me first start out by saying that I absolutely hate the idea of chasing women.
I have been there and done that.
I understand it’s easy to cave into that temptation to disregard all your pride and dignity just so you could score a chick when you are feeling desperate.
But I’ll tell you this.
Even when I did successfully manage to “chase” girls and made shit happen with them, it often still left that bitter taste in my mouth.
What I felt afterward was not a feeling of victory but rather a feeling of contempt.
And this is precisely why I would not recommend anyone to mindlessly chase girls at the expense of sacrificing other aspects of his life.
With that being said, I do want to present a slightly different side to this whole “To chase or not to chase girls” in this article just to show you that nothing is so black and white.
I am sure you have heard of some of the red-pilled dating gurus saying it is a low-status behavior to chase girls and that no man who is truly on his purpose would waste any of his time chasing girls.
While I would certainly agree a lot of men waste an inordinate amount of time chasing girls, I do want to point out some of the examples of men who successfully “chased” girls while not deviating from their own path.
The first person I want to talk about is Grant Cardone.
If you are at all familiar with the online business world, you probably have heard about him.
He is a world-renowned salesman and a real estate investor who is worth hundreds of millions of dollars.
He is quite an interesting character but what is even more intriguing about him is his story of how he ended up marrying his wife.
So here is the story…
He met his wife, an actress in Hollywood, through a mutual friend and apparently it was love (or soulmate… or wifey material…) at first sight for him.
He begged his friend to give him her phone number although that was considered a big no-no in that industry at the time.
He eventually managed to get her number through his friend then proceeded to call her… and was outright rejected.
So what did he decide to do after?
He left her a voice mail once every two weeks despite being ignored each and every single time.
You would think he gave up after a month or two, right?
He decided to keep sending her voice mails for one entire year despite her never returning calls.
Now you may think that’s way past even stalker status at that point…
But what makes this story even more fascinating is she eventually returned call after one whole year of rejecting his advance (Instead of calling the cops…)
And they ended up going on a date and they are now happily married with two kids.
So what is the moral of the story?
Well… many people love to say no alpha male on his purpose would ever waste his time obsessing over one girl.
And this is just one of many examples that prove nothing is so black and white when it comes to how we define a “real man”
I do need to add a few clarifications to the story, however…
1. Grant Cardone was dating other chicks while he was chasing his future wifey.
2. He slept with one of her best friends prior to going out with her. His wife said in one of the interviews that the fact her friend slept with him made her feel more “safe” around him. But it likely just sparked that jealousy in her to want him.
3. Grant Cardone never put his career in the backburner to chase her. He simply just didn’t give up on following up with her. But it was not at the expense of his career and purpose.
In that sense, you could almost argue he didn’t actually “chase” his wife since he was still very much focused on his purpose.
With that being said, do I necessarily agree with going to that extreme to put that amount of effort into chasing girls?
And my answer is…
Hell fugging nah.
This article is not intended to convince you that just because a successful person like Grant Cardone chased his wife for one entire year, that you should do it too.
Far from it…
But I do want you to realize this one thing after reading this article.
And that is there is no black and white way to categorize a high-value man.
We often love to search for clues in others that will confirm our pre-existing bias, so we can put them into certain “boxes”.
But you need to come to realize that you cannot completely categorize a man as an alpha or a beta male just based on whether he chases a girl or not.
Let’s talk about one more person…
The second person I want to talk about is Tony Robbins.
You must certainly be familiar with this name if you’ve ever dabbled in self-help community.
He is the most well-known celebrity in the realm of self-help.
Whether you like him or not, it is hard to deny he’s influenced hundreds and thousands of people to transform their lives for the better.
By any measure or standard, most people could agree he’s definitely a man on his “purpose”.
Here is the thing though…
Once again, a lot of so-called dating gurus who lean more toward the red-pilled side love to make it sound as if a high-value man on his purpose would never waste his time on girls.
So was that the case for Tony Robbins who’s been on his purpose for the past several decades?
In one of his interviews, he talks about how before he amassed his success, he made a list of everything he ever wanted in his life.
It was not just an ambiguous list with general goals but a very specific list that detailed everything he ever wanted for himself.
And take a guess what was included in the list…
All of the qualities he wanted in his future wife that he had yet to meet.
Not only did he create a list of his ideal future wife but he actively sought out men who were dating the type of girls he wanted to date and asked for advice.
Take a moment and think about this.
The man who is supposedly one of the highest value men in our society, someone who coached presidents and celebrities to better their lives, went out of his way to “learn” about attracting his ideal girl.
But what do most men who preach about “disregarding “hoez” and focusing on your purpose” do?
While preaching about being on your purpose, they are not even one-tenth as productive as Tony Robbins and don’t even accomplish a fraction of what he has accomplished in his life.
Don’t get me wrong.
I do think it’s wonderful to encourage men to be on their purpose.
But I do have a problem with a lot of people who preach about being on purpose.
More often than not, it is used as an excuse for a bitter beta male to hate on women because he can’t get any action.
These “purpose” gurus are often just taking advantage of other vulnerable men whose head is filled with hatred toward women.
And what ends up happening is this toxic mindset further prevents these men from taking needed action to improve themselves with women.
They make it sound as if you focus on your purpose, women are supposed to magically smell it off of you and they won’t be able to help but feel magnetic attraction toward you.
But we all know it really is not as straightforward as that in the real world.
As we have seen in the examples, your purpose and putting an effort into finding the right woman do not necessarily have to be mutually exclusive.
You can be on your purpose all you want while still putting an effort into improving your dating life.
In fact, I would argue finding the right girl is just as important as being on your purpose if you are planning on getting into a relationship.
Because you will likely be spending a significant portion of your time with that girl.
And as we all know, people who you spend the most time with will inevitably influence you.
If you date a girl who is always negative and doesn’t add any value to your life, she will eventually bring you down to her level.
This is precisely why you can’t just let a chance dictate which girl you are going to end up with.
So please take away this final point with you…
Even if you are on your purpose, you need to put in a certain amount of effort into finding the right girl if you don’t want to end up miserable with a broken relationship or marriage.
I was Introduced to the world of seduction after being a virgin for the first 26 years of life and being dumped by my first girlfriend at the age of 28. The dating world wasn't so kind to a 28-year-old Asian man who barely had any experience with girls. But, I eventually cracked the "code" and began "attracting" two to three new girls a week on average when I was actively going out. I'm not mentioning that to impress you but to impress upon you that you can take your dating life to the next level... IF you are equipped with the right knowledge and a desire to take massive action.
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