Why Women Flake

You were sure your date went well…

She was smiling at your jokes and seemed comfortable around you.

Hell… maybe you guys even kissed at the end of the first date.

But… nothing.

You hear nothing back from her when you send that sweet little text after the first date.

You think to yourself… maybe she fell asleep.

But, still no reply from her the next day.. and the day after.

Well.. you certainly are not alone.

Believe it or not, this is pretty much what every womanizer goes through on his quest to spread his love.

So, let’s talk about some of the most common reasons why girls flake on you.

And if there’s anything you can even do to reduce those flakes.

The first possibility is…

She is already seeing someone 

You may have been able to spark enough attraction for her to spend time with you despite her seeing someone.

Or maybe she’s going through a rough time with her “kinda” boyfriend.

Either way, she’s now back to her senses and she’d rather stick with a safer option (aka the dude she’s already seeing) – rather than going for a more risky option (aka you).

As much as us humans like something new and exciting, we are also incredibly resistant to change.

We are also more motivated to not lose something we already have than to gain something better.

And sometimes, there simply is nothing much you can do to change her mind even if you have a master seducer.

The second possibility is…

She may be experiencing mood swings that have nothing to do with you 

Have you ever had times when you were filled with positive emotion… and that emotion just evaporated into thin air within a matter of few hours?

Your emotions fluctuate multiple times even throughout the day.

She may have totally liked you at the time she hung out with you… but whatever emotional high she felt with you… subsides when you are not there.

Don’t get me wrong…

It is totally possible she didn’t feel strong enough attraction toward you to want to experience that emotional high again.

But it is also highly likely that her not wanting to see you again has absolutely nothing to do with you.

Another possible reason is…

There was no connection between you and the girl 

There can be a lot of different reasons for this.

But let’s talk about the two most common scenarios I see that frequently lead to this.

1. You guys had nothing in common and the date was filled with awkward pauses. There just wasn’t enough chemistry between you and her.

2. You blabbered way too much without giving any chance for her to talk. This is the exact opposite of the previous scenario. You just went on and on attempting to make shitty jokes at every chance possible… and everything felt just “too much” for her.

It’s also possible…

She lost interest because you didn’t make move on her 

Some girls just want to get fucked…

If you portrayed yourself as a very player-ish type when you first met her… but you took things slowly on your first date… she may very well have been turned off by that.

This is especially the case if you are not yet good at giving off that “seductive” energy.

It’s one thing when a girl can sense you are a guy who gets a lot of girls – and feels confused because you are not making a move on her.

It’s totally another thing when she can sense you are a desperate loser who is too timid to take the initiative.

So what should you do if you don’t have enough experience and intuition to gauge a girl’s interest level?

You should just make it a rule to go for the kiss (at least) on the first date every single time.

Even if she rejects your kiss, you at least clearly demonstrated to her you are not going to be her gay little best friend.

And it’s not the end of the world if she doesn’t kiss you on the first date. It just means she’s not ready yet.

Moving on..

How exactly do you deal with flakes?

The simple answer is you move on.

Nothing positive is going to come out of you bombarding her with texts – when she is already ignoring you.

The last thing you want to do is to act like one of those needy, creepy dudes – who send paragraphs of angry texts to the girl he just went on one date with.

Not only is that bad for your reputation but it will also kill your sense of self-worth.

As Grant Cardone says, you just don’t have enough prospects in your pipeline if you are feeling emotionally attached to one prospect.

I really wish it was the case that you can just pour all your heart and love for one girl – and the girl reciprocates your love to the same degree.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t quite work that way in real life with many (but not all) girls.

The more you show interest in her, the faster she will lose interest.

Nobody appreciates something they can get easily.

If you bombard her with attention and love she doesn’t deserve (yet) – then she will realize you are not a catch and quickly become cold.

So, am I saying…

You should ignore her when she flakes…?


I’m actually saying you should just move the fuck on.

And just completely forget about her.

Go out and get ten more numbers.

Her text will be shoved so far down on your list that you won’t even think about her.

Out of sight, out of mind…

Another thing I want to note is to not act overly excited when she replies back to you – when she had not responded to you for a while.

Don’t act all happy and excited and try to set up a date as soon as she replies back.

She showed a clear sign of disrespect by ignoring you for a few days.

If you guys meet again, she’s coming out to meet you on your term (although that’s the way it should be from the start).

Tell her what days and time you are available to meet.

And make her come to you.

Anyway, that’s it for today.

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Till next time.

About the Author Jon Go

I was Introduced to the world of seduction after being a virgin for the first 26 years of life and being dumped by my first girlfriend at the age of 28. The dating world wasn't so kind to a 28-year-old Asian man who barely had any experience with girls. But, I eventually cracked the "code" and began "attracting" two to three new girls a week on average when I was actively going out. I'm not mentioning that to impress you but to impress upon you that you can take your dating life to the next level... IF you are equipped with the right knowledge and a desire to take massive action.