Why Girls Don’t Text Back

You managed to muster up the courage to ask a girl’s number, and lo and behold, she happily enters her number into your phone.

When you are back home, you begin to daydream about all of the wonderful places you are going to take her, and how many kids you guys would have if you were to marry her (okay, maybe that was a little too far…).

You send her your first text message and eagerly wait for her to reply back.

Half an hour passes by without any reply.

You get a little nervous, but you tell yourself that she must be busy.

Hours pass by, and still no reply.

Now, you are feeling really agitated, and you can’t help but check your phone every few minutes.

A day passes by, and she still has not replied yet.

At this point, it’s clear that she has “decided” she is not going to reply back to you.

So, what went wrong?

Is it something you did, or something that is completely unrelated to you that caused her to ignore you?

That is what you will find out in this article.

I can assure you that you will be able to find the answers to your questions by the time you are done reading this article.

Do not miss the 6th point in this article since it is one of the most common, but also most preventable mistakes that a lot of men make.

1. Her emotion changed

Girl’s emotions fluctuate all the time.

She could be feeling over the moon one minute and miserable the next.

You need to realize that whatever a girl says to you is often a “temporary” truth.

For example, a girl may very well mean it when she tells you that she finds you attractive, and she would be more than happy to go out with you.

But, that doesn’t mean her emotion is going to stay that way for the next few days.

I remember when I used to go out with a girl who had a borderline personality disorder (look it up if you don’t know…).

She would tell me how much she loves me, and how she can’t picture a life without me.

And 10 minutes later, she would lash out on me and tell me how I should just end my life.

While most girls aren’t THAT extreme when it comes to their emotional fluctuation, you do tend to see a more volatile fluctuation in girls compared to men.

This is why there is no reason for you to take it so personally when a girl doesn’t text you back.

It doesn’t necessarily mean she didn’t love you when she gave you her number.

It simply means she probably doesn’t love you right now at this moment.

2. She is not that into you

It is possible she wasn’t that into you, and she just gave you her number out of politeness.

A girl may give out her number to a man because she just wants to get rid of him, or she feels too bad to reject him in front of his face.

When a girl looks reluctant to give you her number, or she tries to come up with some BS excuses, then she probably is not that interested.

The reason why a girl doesn’t text back can often be traced back to the quality of interaction you had with her.

If your interaction wasn’t solid, and you didn’t really feel any chemistry with her, then she probably didn’t either.

And that is most likely the reason why she is ignoring you.

If you had a great interaction with a girl, it’s unlikely for her to lose interest because of what you say over texts.

3. She started seeing another man

You’ve probably only known her for a short while.

So, if a girl has a recent past with another man (or her ex-boyfriend), it is difficult for you to be more emotionally relevant to her than him.

People, in general, have a strong desire to stick with whatever they are most familiar with.

You are up against a tough competition if you have to fight for her attention when her ex-boyfriend (or another man she’s had a long history with) comes into the equation.

So, there is no reason for you to beat yourself up over it if she ends up ignoring you for this reason.

You are better off spending your time and effort into meeting a new girl who does not come with baggage.

And there is a chance she may contact you back once she is fully over her ex or whatever guy she is seeing.

But, for that to happen, it is important for you to display a complete lack of neediness over text.

If you lash out on a girl because she is not promptly replying back, you can pretty much kiss your chance of seeing her again goodbye.

4. She may suffer from anxiety and depression

This is not something that people normally consider when they are trying to figure out why a girl is not texting back.

But, it is more common than you may think.

It is probably not a surprise for you to hear that a lot of girls suffer from depression and anxiety.

As someone who suffered from severe anxiety for most of my life, I can tell you there are days when I want to completely isolate myself from everyone else.

Girls who suffer from anxiety and depression are no different.

On days a girl hits an emotional rock-bottom, she most likely has no desire to interact with another person, especially if it is a stranger she barely knows.

As a side note, if a girl seemed overly upbeat and friendly when you met her, there is a greater chance she may be the type to suffer from some sort of a mental disorder.

Take it with a grain of salt, but whenever I’ve had a girl show me extreme levels of interest from the get-go, she turned out to be a rather emotionally unstable person.

5. You are not her priority

This is similar to what we had discussed earlier (about her not being that into you), but this can also apply even if she is somewhat into you.

She may be facing some family or friend issues, and she is obligated to be there for them.

She’s had a much longer history with her family and friends, and it only makes sense for her to prioritize them over you even if she feels a strong attraction toward you (if she doesn’t care for her family and friends, do you really want to be with a girl like that anyway?)

Once again, this is why it is important for you to remain cool and not flip out when a girl doesn’t promptly reply you back.

There is a chance she is going to reply back once things are settled and she has enough space in her mind to explore the idea of going on a date.

But, you are going to permanently ruin your chances if you show any signs of neediness during the time she goes no contact on you.

Give her some time, and maybe text her one more time after a week or two later.

If she still doesn’t respond, then it is a sign for you to move on.

6. She gave you the wrong number

This happens more frequently than you would think.

Yes, it is possible that a girl may have intentionally given you the wrong number because she doesn’t want to have anything to do with you.

But, it is also possible that she just gave you the wrong number as a mistake.

It can be quite anxiety-inducing for both you and the girl when you guys are exchanging numbers, and she may have forgotten to double-check before saving her number in your phone.

This is why I recommend you to text her on the spot as soon as she gives you her number to make sure it is not the wrong number.

I don’t particularly agree with doing this as a way to check the girl didn’t intentionally give you the fake number.

In my view, there is no point in going out of your way to make sure her number is valid when she is not even interested in you enough to give you her real number.

Instead, I want you to do this just in case she accidentally gave you the wrong number.

Because it would be unfortunate for things to not work out between the two of you due to a silly mistake that could’ve easily been prevented.

7. You scared her away

She may not be texting you back because you scared her away with too much enthusiasm.

It is understandable for you to get excited when you get the number of a girl you like.

It is only natural for you to feel that way.

But, you want to stay away from expressing that enthusiasm in an uncontrolled manner.

Think about how a girl would feel when you start bombarding her with 20 text messages a day and send her good morning and goodnight texts every single day.

She would think you are a lovely gentleman who she would happily marry in a heartbeat, right? Wrong.

She is going to wonder what is the deal with you for you to become so attached to a girl who you’ve only known for a couple of days (or weeks).

Such behaviors communicate to a girl that you don’t have a lot of abundance in your dating life (Otherwise, you wouldn’t so strongly cling onto a girl you barely know).

And that is obviously a huge turn-off to most girls.

Girls want a man who is desired by other attractive women, and you are indirectly letting her know that no girl desires you by engaging in such behavior.

8. You gave her too much validation

This is similar to the last point, but you can also give a girl too much validation without necessarily sending her too many texts.

You may send her just one text message, but that text can be enough to turn her off.

For example, it is probably a good idea to avoid telling her how she is the best thing that’s ever happened to you as your first text message.

As a general rule of thumb, you do not want to over-compliment a girl when you are getting to know her.

Don’t turn your compliments into a cheap commodity by freely giving it away when a girl doesn’t even deserve it.

You want to make her earn your compliments and validation (and vice versa).

I’m all for giving genuine compliments when you actually mean it. That is a great way to make a girl feel special.

But, complimenting a girl every text message (for no good reason) is a surefire way to make her de-value your words.

9. She is traveling

This seems like an unlikely reason for a girl to not text you back, but it’s actually happened to me more than a couple of times.

The girl went on a vacation shortly after I got her number, and she wasn’t able to answer my message during the time she was away (although, this would’ve been less of a problem if I added her on my social media account instead).

I’m just glad I didn’t double or triple message her during the time she was away because that surely would have raised a red flag in her mind.

As we have been consistently emphasizing in this article, a lot of men make a mistake of becoming too impatient when they do not promptly receive a text back from a girl.

They take it very personally when they don’t hear back from a girl. And, they either send a text message that is passive-aggressive in tone, or a paragraph-long text that makes them appear desperate.

If you take one lesson away from this article, I want you to remember to master the art of patience.

You will have a lot less incidence of face-palming yourself when you look back at the old text messages you impulsively sent a few weeks or months ago.

I hope you have a pretty good idea of why she did not text you back at this point.

Either way, I suggest you move on and find another girl.

There are beautiful girls out there who will be more than excited to get to know you, so you do not want to be wasting too much of your time on girls who do not show interest.

I wish you the best of luck!

About the Author Jon Go

I was Introduced to the world of seduction after being a virgin for the first 26 years of life and being dumped by my first girlfriend at the age of 28. The dating world wasn't so kind to a 28-year-old Asian man who barely had any experience with girls. But, I eventually cracked the "code" and began "attracting" two to three new girls a week on average when I was actively going out. I'm not mentioning that to impress you but to impress upon you that you can take your dating life to the next level... IF you are equipped with the right knowledge and a desire to take massive action.