If you feel like no girl ever gives you the time of day, then this article is for you.
So, let’s start with the most common question I get from other guys.
They frequently wonder..
Let’s first set one thing straight.
As annoying as it is, our society still expects guys to initiate approaching women. If you are not taking the first move, you will be missing out on a lot of opportunities. That’s just a cold hard truth.
So, if you are wondering why girls don’t like you and don’t initiate a conversation with you, it may very well be a simple matter of you not taking enough initiative to make something happen.
What do you do in that case?
I go into greater detail in this article.
But, the simple action step for you is to start talking to any and every girl (and even guys to bring your social skill up) you come across in social settings.
This will serve two purposes.
1. By talking to so many people, you will almost inevitably at least attract a few girls. You just need to keep your eyes open to know if she gives you signs that she’s attracted to you or not. I’ll cover in this greater detail in my future article.
2. It will build your social muscle and you will become incredibly socially savvy as a result. Once again, you just need to keep your eyes open and see how people respond to different ways you interact with them. Do more of what makes people give you a better reaction while doing less of what makes people respond to you in a negative way.
I can’t emphasize this point enough because it will have the greatest influence on how fast you improve at this. Interacting with a lot of people alone for sure will improve your social skill greatly. But, that alone is not enough.
You HAVE to be aware of how other people respond to you and take a mental note of it during interaction. Don’t analyze while you are talking to someone, just simply take a mental snapshot of how they are responding to certain things you say or do while they are talking.
Afterward, think about things you should do less of and things that you should do more of which make people respond to you favorably.
Maybe, people’s eyes light up when you say hi to them with a warm smile. But, they seem to lose interest quick when you start complaining about certain things. Be very aware of any change in their body language and their eyes.
Despite all these efforts, you may still be thinking..
So what’s even the point of putting all these effort into getting to know people?
Don’t get me wrong, there may be some legitimate reasons that don’t make you appear very attractive to females for the time being.
So, what are some of those?
This is a no-brainer. If you smell like shit and you are rocking a dragon breath, then there is nothing much to be said here. It always amazed me to see guys spending 5 hours everyday on going out. Yet, they were too lazy to spend 10 minutes a day brushing and flossing their teeth and wash their clothes.
Luckily, this is a very simple solution. Just make it a daily habit to take care of your personal hygiene.
If you wear shirts and pants that are two sizes too big then it’s time to throw them out. Not only will it make you look slobby, but the first impression that the girl gets from you is that you are a dude that doesn’t take care of himself. You only get once chance to make that first impression, so it’s on you to make it count.
It goes along with the previously mentioned point. This is something you can certainly take care of. Not only does it give you a big disadvantage in terms of appearance, but it also screams of someone who doesn’t think highly of himself.
I grew up as a morbidly obese kid so I understand how difficult it can be to keep your weight off. But, it’s something that is definitely worth improving as it just boosts the quality of every aspect of your life.
You may not have thought of this point but it can easily have one of the biggest influence on your perceived value in others eyes. If you can’t speak up and people can barely hear you, then people will automatically assume you are an insecure guy.
So, start speaking from your stomach and one good tip is to picture speaking with your whole body rather than just your throat. Be sure to speak each word clearly so the other person knows what the hell you are talking about.
How relaxed are you when you talk to her? Do you notice you lean in a lot when you talk to her? Do you dabble when you walk or do you walk with purpose while staying relaxed?
She notices most of your sub-communications first before you ever go up to approach her. People make judgments about other people within a matter of seconds. Dialing-in your body language will give you a massive advantage over others who are not aware of how they present themselves to the world.
It’s not just eye contact. But, how you look at her. Do you look at her like a deer caught in the headlights? Or are you able to look deep into her eyes while staying completely relaxed?
Your eyes are one of the most honest signals that tell her what kind of person you are. If you have trouble maintaining deep eye contact, and your eyes constantly flinch when you talk to her, then it will be extremely difficult for her to feel any attraction toward you.
Just make sure you don’t turn into a creepy dude who stares at the girl until she feels comfortable. Start out by practicing holding eye contact slightly longer than what you’re normally comfortable with (2~3 seconds longer) while staying relaxed. With enough conscious practice, it will become automatic.
So, it’s about time we talk about things that actually matter such as..
Or do they..?
I went into great detail on each of those in my article here.
But, a long story short, I’ve seen so many guys who consistently get with cuties despite not meeting a society’s ideal stand for each of those components. If you maximize everything that you can actually change which I’ve talked about previously, then there simply is no way you won’t attract girls.
Calvin Murphy would’ve never found out he’d play in an NBA and even become the hall of fame if he decided he has no business playing basketball when he stopped growing at 5’9. Instead, he decided to find it out for himself. He decided to find out his own potential for himself rather than letting others decide what he’s capable of. So, what are you going to do?
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