Do women play games because they want to mess with your head?
It is frustrating when you just can’t figure out why women do the things that they do.
Millions of men suffer from frustration and heartache every day because they fail to understand women on a deep psychological level.
And guess what?
What you are about to learn in this article may very well change your life completely.
I know that is a big bold claim to make, and I do not take what I say lightly.
My life was in a rut when I was overwhelmed with stress from a bad relationship, and I have also shared some of the most amazing moments from a great relationship I had with women.
Look… I get that there is a lot of self-help gurus out there who talk about being content on your own, but at the end of the day, we are social creatures.
It is biologically ingrained in us to crave for love and affection from the opposite sex.
And if you lack the ability to form a genuine connection with women, then there is no doubt in my mind that the quality of your life is going to suffer immensely.
It is, therefore, imperative for you to gain an in-depth understanding of why women play games.
It will save you from a toxic relationship, and it will allow you to find the right girl who is going to enhance your life rather than bring you down.
So, let’s get right into it if you are ready to learn about the cruel games that women play with men.
It would make sense to start out by talking about games that women play when they interact with men for the first time.
When you meet a girl for the first time, it is possible that she may not be interested in you, but another possibility is that she does not want to appear too enthusiastic, although she may actually be intrigued by you.
Women have been conditioned (and pressured) to not appear too easy to men.
So, a lot of women – especially attractive ones – tend to stay away from showing too much interest when they talk to men for the first time.
This is even truer in settings such as a bar or the club where attractive women are bombarded with attention from men.
So, it is very possible she is playing hard to get.
On a deep level, most women understand that the more accessible they are to a lot of men, the more they are likely to lose value (I am all for supporting women’s sexual liberation and letting people do whatever they please, but this is just how the human brain is wired to judge).
Think about this for a second.
When a woman finds out you slept with most of her attractive friends, then her desire for you usually grows stronger.
But, what about when you find out she has slept with all of your friends?
You may still be happy to have “fun” with her if she is attractive enough, but it is unlikely you are going to take her seriously in any way.
And most high-value men who have options are definitely not going to want to get into a monogamous relationship with a woman who has a question history.
It’s too bad if this sounds misogynistic to some feminists, but I like saying things the way they are without fluffy BS, and this is what I have noticed over and over among thousands of men and women I’ve interacted with.
So, when a woman does not reciprocate during the initial phase of the interaction, what exactly is the best way to overcome this?
You first need to demonstrate that you are not emotionally affected by the front she puts on.
The moment she can sense you are affected by her behavior is the moment she realizes that you are a weak, beta male.
Detach yourself from wanting a certain outcome when you approach a woman.
A woman’s reaction would only have an emotional implication on you when you go talk to her expecting something, and you don’t get what you expected.
Nothing will catch you off guard when you initiate a conversation with a woman without wanting a certain outcome from the interaction.
The second way to not play the BS game some of these women play is to develop the ability to differentiate between an absence of interest and the fake front.
When she seems cold at first, but she still stands there and talks to you without leaving (or she does not tell you to leave), then there is a good chance she has some interest in you.
Always look at a woman’s behaviors first before her words.
And a woman staying there to talk to you is usually the biggest sign of interest.
On the other hand, if a woman tells you to get lost, or if she physically moves away from you, then that is a clear sign she is not interested in talking to you.
This is another game that a woman may play with men during the initial phase of the interaction.
A girl may pretend to show more interest in your friend, although she may actually be interested in you more.
So, why would she do that?
It is often to induce jealousy and make you fight for her attention.
A lot of women take extreme pleasure out of making men fight for their attention.
Because after all, what better way is there to feel validated than having multiple men throw themselves at them all at the same time?
And to be fair, men – who are good with women – do exactly the same thing.
He makes sure to let girls know he has options and is desired by lots of other women.
And that, in turn, makes him desired by even more women.
When a girl plays this game, it is important for you to not show any signs of neediness.
Avoid trying to abruptly join in on the conversation to get her attention back because that will just reveal your insecurity to her.
When she disengages, you should also disengage by talking to your friends or other people nearby.
There is no reason to reward her behavior by showering her with even more attention.
In fact, the best thing you can do in this type of scenario is to go talk to another attractive girl that is nearby.
If the girl already has some interest in you, it will make her want you, even more, when she sees you talking to other attractive girls.
By demonstrating to a girl you have options, you are going to force her to play your game instead of hers.
This mostly applies to scenarios where you approach a random woman who does not know anything about you.
By the way, if you have enough courage to do this (also known as “cold approach”), then I applaud you for that since most men are not brave enough to do this.
Anyway, some girls may tell you she has a boyfriend as an automatic response although she actually doesn’t.
Many dating coaches would say this just means there is a lack of enough interest from a girl, but I do not believe that is necessarily true in all cases.
I have always openly talked about dating, relationship, and sex with most of the girls I have been with, so I was able to delve deep into women’s perspective on some of these topics.
And more than a handful of women have told me that there have been a few instances where they were approached by a random man, and they ended up telling him they have a boyfriend, although they were somewhat attracted to him.
Sometimes, women say they have a boyfriend because they feel awkward, and they feel overwhelmed with the pressure of a random person approaching them.
So, they would rather evade the situation over getting to know him.
And it is not exactly hard to relate to this as a man especially if you have been bad with women growing up.
Imagine you are a huge nerd who plays video games all day every day, and you are a virgin on top of that.
Do you think you would be able to hold your ground if you were approached by a really attractive female?
How about if she wants to have sex with you? Do you think you would even be able to get (or maintain) an erection?
I would guess you would most likely run away from the interaction due to too much pressure and not having a clue on what you are supposed to do (Although you may feel strong attraction toward her).
You would have the same effect on a lot of women if you are a man who takes care of himself and approaches women in a confident manner.
So, what do you do when she tells you she has a boyfriend?
The solution is rather simple.
If she stays there and talks to you even after she says she has a boyfriend, assume there is an attraction.
Just assume she is either feeling nervous or playing games with you, and spend a little more time with her, without forcibly dragging out the interaction.
There is a good chance she might change her mind as she feels a little more comfortable with you and end up giving you her number.
But, if she clearly shows her willingness to leave after she states she has a boyfriend, then it is time to let her go.
As a side note, I want to note that I do not recommend you hitting on a girl who actually has a boyfriend.
If you confirm she has a boyfriend, then I suggest you move on.
I would imagine that the entire reason why you got into learning about attraction is so you can have an abundance of options in your dating life.
Chasing a girl with a boyfriend screams that your brain is operating in a scarce mindset, and I don’t want you to get your skull crushed in with 2 by 4 by her crazy boyfriend.
Let’s now talk about some of the games women play on a date.
I tell men this every time. You should be the one to set up where to meet and what to do on a date.
As a man, you want to be in charge of the interaction, and you want to control the flow of the interaction from the start.
No, I’m not saying you should treat women like crap and try to be a control freak.
Women want to be led by men they like.
It is your duty as a man to lead her in a way that provides an enjoyable experience for her.
But there are some girls who are determined to do everything on their term.
And this communicates a lack of respect and attraction toward you.
For example, I was on a date one time, and the girl was very insistent on going to an expensive dinner for whatever reason.
I told her that I prefer to not go for dinner on the first date because it’s too formal, and I’d rather get to know her over coffee first.
But, she still persisted.
And it is a moment like this that should make you question about her intent.
If a girl’s primary motive is to get to know you better, then there really is no reason for her to be so set on having to do something on a date such as going to an expensive dinner.
If she tries to have it her way at all cost, then it likely means she is playing games with you.
In such a case, I would advise you to hold your ground. Explain to her why you want to do what you want to do, and if she is still being unreasonable, then you should seriously consider leaving her.
If she starts to clash with you even on such minor things from the start, then it is only going to go downhill from there.
There are plenty of women out there who would be more than happy to follow your leads, so you do not want to waste any of your time and effort on a girl who makes your life more difficult than necessary.
“I’m sorry I don’t have sex on the first date”
So, why does this mean she is playing games with you? Am I being a misogynistic pig by mocking women who don’t put out on the first date?
No, not necessarily.
There is nothing inherently wrong about women not wanting to have sex with you on the first date.
Everyone has different values, and she may very well believe in spending more time with a man before she decides to have sex with him.
It does, however, become problematic if she is “using” sex as a way to manipulate you.
For example, if you ask her if she wants to come back to yours to have a couple more drinks, and she replies saying, “You should take me out to dinner first”, then that should raise a red flag.
That shows she doesn’t view sex as something that two people do for pleasure and love, but rather, as a tool she can use to get something out of the man she is dating.
Back in my awkward, nice guy days, I’ve had a girl who said she wanted to wait months until she would be ready for sex, although she has experienced more than a handful of one night stands in the past.
She instinctively knew that I really want to have sex with her, and when she sensed my desperation, she did not hesitate to use sex as a tool to gain power over me.
And that is why the nice guy often gets treated like a doormat and is made to wait for sex by his woman, while the “not-so-nice-guy” often has sex with the nice guy’s woman within just a few hours of meeting her.
The woman can tell that the not-so-nice-guy has options and is not desperate for sex, and that makes her desire him even more.
If you are a nice guy who believes most women prefer to wait for days or months until they want to have sex with a man, I want you to realize there was probably some men in her life who’s had sex with her within a few hours (or sometimes even minutes) of meeting her.
When there is enough attraction, and she desires you as much as you desire her, then most of her “standards” will go out the window.
A woman’s logical brain often only kicks in when she doesn’t feel enough “pull” toward you.
So, if she is playing games with you, it can very well mean she just does not find you that appealing.
So, what should you do if a woman wants to hold out on sex?
Well, it would have been ideal is to not get into that position in the first place by conducting yourself as a man who proudly owns his sexual desire.
But if it already happened, you would simply want to communicate to her in a straightforward manner that you believe sexual intimacy is an important part of a relationship.
And let her know that if she doesn’t view sex as an important part of a relationship, then you can respect her view, but things are not going to work out between you and her.
To be honest, there can be a lot of different reasons for why she may look at her phone on the first date apart from the fact she may be playing games with you.
She may be looking at her phone because that is practically what everyone does in this day and age.
She may be looking at her phone because you are boring her to death, and she has nothing better to do.
Or she may be playing games with you to try to make you work harder to get her attention.
Whatever her reason may be, it is just a disrespectful behavior to display on a date.
When a woman does this, many men play the game of chase.
They start to talk more to get a woman’s attention back, and they start to become hypersensitive to every little micro-expression of a girl.
And that is exactly what you do not want to do.
When a girl displays a disrespectful behavior, you do not reward her behavior by giving her even more of what she wants (i.e. attention).
You should let her know that you are not happy with her behavior.
There is no reason for you to make a big fuss out of it. In fact, that is only going to make her want to fight you back by placing blame on you for failing to keep her entertained.
You simply want to let her know you are disappointed in her behavior, and you will happily leave a date if she does not want you to be there.
Letting a woman know about your willingness to leave can be such a powerful way to communicate your value.
When a woman knows you are not attached to her and her validation, her desire for you usually grows even bigger.
You will also feel like a real man who does not need female validation to feel complete by demonstrating your willingness to walk away from a woman who does not deserve your attention.
So, you have successfully crashed through games she’s played with you on a date, and you are now in a relationship with her.
Congratulations, but it isn’t quite over yet.
Women still play games even while they are in a relationship.
In fact, she will most likely play even more games with you now that you have become an important part of her life.
So, let’s talk about how you can avoid falling into her little trap.
A lot of women will play games in a relationship by giving you subtle tests to see your reaction.
One way a woman does this is by randomly talking about a guy at work (or any other places) who is hitting on her.
She is curious to see how you are going to respond when she talks about another guy.
If you show visible signs of jealousy and you get all insecure, then she will realize you are emotionally fragile, and she will lose respect for you.
When she brings up other men, you should simply acknowledge what she says with a simple response and move on to some other topic.
There really is no reason to have a prolonged discussion about other men that are interested in her.
If she still somehow keeps trying to steer the conversation back to talking about the guy, then here is something you can do.
Start talking about one of her attractive female friends, and be really curious about her.
This will obviously make most women mad. You can then tell her that is exactly why you guys should not unnecessarily bring up other people in a conversation to make each other jealous.
What you do not want to do is to logically explain why you don’t like it when she brings up other men in a conversation. It will often backfire because she will just accuse you of being a jealous little boy.
On a somewhat related note, my first girlfriend used to talk about all of the different places she’s had sex with her ex-boyfriends, although I never asked her about it.
Needless to say, it made me feel insecure and jealous since I never had any experience with other women apart from her at the time.
When I expressed how I feel honestly, she just mocked and ridiculed me for being a loser (and I’m not saying all women are immature to that extent, but most would rather not hear about your petty feelings).
There’s a time and a place for an honest expression of your emotion in a relationship, but not when it comes to expressing your jealousy.
Women will often encourage you to be honest with your feelings and even tell you that they are more attracted to men who share their feelings.
But, she will lose respect for you as soon as you express your feelings in a way that makes you appear weak.
So, it is sometimes best to just play the game that a woman plays, but reverse the situation so you are the one with the controller in your hand.
When a woman sprinkles in snarky remarks during a conversation, you know her game mode is on.
It will start small, and it will often start out as her “joking” about something that she knows you are sensitive about.
It can be insecurities you have about your physical appearance. It can be about your character flaws.
She will be testing the water to see just how far she can push your boundary.
When this happens, most men either pretend to not care, or they get mad without saying anything about it.
Either one of those actions will give her permission to push the boundaries even further.
And before you realize, it will become the norm for her to put you down and disrespect you on a daily basis.
I made the same mistake of not setting a clear boundary in my first relationship.
She was the kindest and the most respectful person when we first started dating, but she had turned into the evilest woman by the time we broke up.
And part of that was my fault for tolerating all of her BS throughout the relationship.
So, how should you communicate your boundaries?
As we have talked about earlier, you want to stay away from telling her how much her behaviors hurt you. That just doesn’t work well with the majority of women.
How then should you communicate your boundaries?
You keep it simple and straight to the point.
Simply let her know you do not condone disrespect in a relationship, and if she continues to behave that way, then you are going to have to walk away.
Let me give you an example to clarify the right way and the wrong way to go about this.
The wrong way…
“Hey babe, what you said yesterday really hurt me deeply. I stayed up all night thinking about it, and tears kept rolling down my eyes… Can you promise you would not say something so hurtful in the future? Love you babe…”
Ok… I hope I don’t need to explain how pathetic that sounds despite you honestly expressing your feeling (which is “supposedly” what women find attractive in men).
Now, here is the right way…
“Hey, I believe it is important to have mutual respect to sustain a healthy relationship. And I don’t think what you said yesterday was very respectful at all. If you believe it is okay to say something like that in a relationship, I do not think we are the right fit for each other.”
You communicate your belief in a clear, concise manner, and you let her know about the consequence of her action.
Now, we are onto the last and the cruelest game a woman can play with men.
And it is the game she plays when she friend-zones a man.
The first advice I would give to any men is to never ever get into a friend-zone in the first place.
It is a waste of your time to stay as a woman’s friend if you’ve already expressed your desire for her, and she rejected you.
Most women are more than happy to keep you as one of their orbiters because you are just another source of male validation that supplies them with a dopamine hit.
But, it does not make any sense on your part to stick around a woman just so you can be her emotional tampon.
Why then do men stay as a woman’s friend even after rejection?
Most men do so because they are happy with a little bit of validation they get from being friends with an attractive girl.
They would rather hold on to that little peanut of validation than having everything taken away from them.
But, what you should do instead is to man up, and walk away from the woman who does not respect you as a man.
Your time is better spent working on yourself or meeting other girls.
There is no reason to spend more than a second of your day thinking about a girl who does not reciprocate the same degree of interest you have for her.
Anyway, that is my take on why women play games, and what you can do to avoid playing their game. I wish you all the best!
I was Introduced to the world of seduction after being a virgin for the first 26 years of life and being dumped by my first girlfriend at the age of 28. The dating world wasn't so kind to a 28-year-old Asian man who barely had any experience with girls. But, I eventually cracked the "code" and began "attracting" two to three new girls a week on average when I was actively going out. I'm not mentioning that to impress you but to impress upon you that you can take your dating life to the next level... IF you are equipped with the right knowledge and a desire to take massive action.
Please log in again. The login page will open in a new tab. After logging in you can close it and return to this page.