Getting rejected in anything, but especially by a woman, is not exactly the greatest feeling in the world.
I can give you an hour worth of motivational talk on why rejection builds character and how you should view each rejection as you getting one step closer to success.
But at the end of the day, there is always going to be a little piece of you that will die inside no matter how hard you train yourself to become immune to rejection.
While you never want to let the fear of rejection stop you from asking a girl out, it is foolish to take a weird pride in getting one rejection after another, just for the sake of proving to the world that rejections don’t affect you
So, why don’t we talk about some of the reasons why a woman rejects you and what can be done to improve your odds?
One of the reasons why a girl rejects you may be due to your poor personal hygiene and grooming.
Many men are quite oblivious when it comes to taking care of themselves.
You may still be able to attract girls here and there even with poor hygiene if you have a good facial aesthetic and a nice physique to make up for it.
But, you absolutely have no choice but to dial in your hygiene and grooming if you are an average male like me.
During my years of going out, I have seen countless men of all shapes and sizes get incredible results with women (Even a 5’4 short Asian guy).
But, I’ve never met a man who is physically unattractive AND doesn’t take care of himself, that gets consistent results with women.
If you look like a homeless person, and you are rocking that dragon breath from not brushing your teeth for a few days, is it really a surprise when a woman rejects you?
Here are the essentials you absolutely must follow:
1. Brush your teeth two times a day at least.
2. Floss daily
3. Wear deodorant. Especially if you tend to sweat a lot. This is a must for most Middle Eastern and Indian men.
4. Get a sharp, clean haircut that fits you.
5. Moisturize your skin daily if you are prone to having dry, flaky skin. There is nothing sexy about skin that is peeling
6. Apply lip balm regularly if you have a dry lip.
7. Get rid of uni-brows.
8. If you have bad acne, get rid of that. Nothing kills your confidence like a face filled with cystic acne. The only thing that permanently eradicated my acne was Accutane after having suffered from severe acne for over a decade.
If you look at the list, these are what most normal people do to take care of themselves.
But, it never ceases to amaze me that even something so basic is rarely applied consistently in practice by most men.
This part is mostly for when you talk to a girl for the first time, and she rejects your approach.
Social awareness is becoming an increasingly rare skill in this day and age, as people spend more time looking at their phone instead of connecting with people in real life.
Let’s say you see a beautiful girl who is standing at a bus stop surrounded by other people.
You read an article that says girls are attracted to men who are confident.
So, you muster up your courage and walk up to her in a confident manner.
You then start talking to her with a loud, dominant voice to show off your masculine side, and you let her know you wanted to come and introduce yourself because she is stunningly beautiful.
On paper, you did all the right things to show your confidence and attractive qualities.
But, what do you think would most likely happen in real life?
She looks at you like you are a crazy person, and she politely (or abruptly) excuses herself from your presence.
So, what went wrong?
For one, you didn’t take into consideration how awkward she would feel when she gets approached by a random man around tens of other people.
You were solely focused on yourself that you became completely oblivious to how she would feel in such a scenario.
You forgot to ask yourself how she would feel when you approach her in such a forward manner in front of everyone else.
She probably felt like everyone is staring at her, and she was most likely overwhelmed with pressure.
In such a case, there is a good chance she would reject you because she does not want to seem easy in front of others, even if she was physically attracted to you.
If you decided to approach her in a more subtle way without putting on a show, she may have been a lot more receptive to your advance.
This is what commonly happens when you strictly rely on your book knowledge to navigate through social situations, instead of accumulating enough real-life experiences to understand the intricacies of social interaction on a deeper level.
There is no simple solution to developing social awareness other than meeting a lot of different people in different places until you start to notice the patterns.
But the good news is it is a skill that can be developed as long as you consistently put yourself out there and interact with people.
Another reason why she may reject you is due to your perceived lower status.
Women (especially hot girls) care a lot about their status and where they stand relative to others.
If she perceives you as a lower status male, then she is not going to want to be associated with you, and that will be enough reason for her to reject you.
Status is everything for a lot of women, and the last thing a girl wants to do is to hang out with a man who is a beta loser.
So, let’s talk about some of the key things you can do to prevent yourself from becoming that low-status male in a woman’s eyes.
1. Maintain good eye contact with people.
Don’t nervously look away when you make eye contact with others.
Remember that people look into your eyes to assess what type of person you are.
Your eyes communicate a lot about who you are.
2. Look straight ahead and stand with a straight posture.
It hides your attractive qualities when you have a poor posture.
It makes you appear weak and less confident. But, you want to make sure you don’t walk around like a stiff robot.
You want to adopt a good posture, but you also want to be relaxed at the same time.
3. Eliminate all the pacifying behaviors.
This basically refers to whatever behaviors you do to make yourself feel more comfortable and relieve tension.
It can be scratching your nose. It can be tapping your foot nervously. It can be fidgeting. It can be blinking a little too fast.
All of these behaviors will make you appear weak in a girl’s eyes, and it will make it difficult for her to take you seriously.
Learn to be relaxed and comfortable with not making any movements in your body.
1. Start hanging out with cool friends.
We all judge others based on the type of people they hang out with.
If most of your friends are a bunch of video game nerds who lack confidence, then your perceived value will diminish in a woman’s eyes no matter how cool you are.
So, make your best effort to become friends with people who have cool things going for themselves.
When you have a bunch of cool friends in your life, she will assume you must be awesome as well.
2. Start organizing cool activities with your friends and invite girls to join you.
It can be as simple as having pre-drinks at your place and going out to the club.
It can be inviting girls out to go on a boat cruise. Ask girls to invite their friends as well.
If you design your life in a way where you are the organizer of these awesome events, and you invite girls to join your party, then it will be incredibly easy for you to attract girls.
Another obvious reason why she may have rejected you is that she is just not that physically attracted you.
It may be your face, your height, your body, or your race.
A lot of men take it personally when women reject them due to lack of physical attraction.
You need to realize, however, that every woman has a different preference.
The fact is that even a good looking celebrity like Brad Pitt does not fit every woman’s type.
Yes, I certainly acknowledge there is such thing as physical traits that are more universally appealing than others (i.e. taller height, fit body, symmetrical face).
But, such is life.
You should be glad in knowing that there are beautiful women out there who will still find you attractive no matter how hideous you think you are.
You just need to be willing to play a number’s game a little more than other men who are more genetically gifted.
The sooner you accept that you are not going to be loved by every girl and be okay with that, the easier your life will be.
It is extremely bad for your mental well-being to chase validation from each and every girl you interact with.
It will make you needy, and you will be playing a game that cannot be won.
This is why it is beneficial for you to view your interaction with women as a filtering process.
Your goal is not to be loved by every woman.
Your goal is to find a woman you are most compatible with.
So, when a girl rejects you, you simply move onto the next girl without dwelling over your rejection because you have already consciously decided you are not made for everyone.
This is not an excuse for you to neglect areas where you can improve.
You should, by all means, work to improve your body, improve your fashion, and put an effort into becoming more attractive in general.
But, do not waste any of your time thinking about things that are out of your control.
Your personality makes a big difference in whether a girl rejects you or not.
A lot of men like to downplay the importance of personality, and they claim it is all about your looks that determine your success with women.
In my humble opinion, most men who say such things have a crappy personality, so they don’t quite understand how useful it can be to have an awesome personality.
Most men are boring, and they just don’t know how to have an interesting conversation with a girl.
It is very rare to come across a man who is positive, fun, masculine, sexual, and playful.
When you do become a man who possesses some (or all) of those qualities, then you will be able to arouse the type of emotions that a girl rarely ever experiences with other men.
And you will be able to leave a strong, lasting impression on her.
Fortunately, men are more heavily judged based on their characters and personalities compared to women.
And your personality is something that you can improve with enough hard work and determination.
If I were to write about all of the different things you can do to improve your personality, it would take hundreds of pages.
So, let me give you a straightforward answer which I believe will give you the most bang for your buck if you were to go ahead and implement it.
And that is to…
Invest in yourself.
Join a toastmaster class to improve your public speaking. It will help you become more charismatic and articulate when you talk to others.
Join an improv class. You will be able to think quickly on your feet and have an interesting conversation with a girl no matter what you talk about.
Join a meditation club or start doing yoga to learn how to be more relaxed in your body. You are able to express yourself a lot better when you are relaxed around others.
The skills you learn from these classes will help massively when you interact with women.
Your confidence will also skyrocket knowing that you are doing your best to become the best version of yourself.
I was Introduced to the world of seduction after being a virgin for the first 26 years of life and being dumped by my first girlfriend at the age of 28. The dating world wasn't so kind to a 28-year-old Asian man who barely had any experience with girls. But, I eventually cracked the "code" and began "attracting" two to three new girls a week on average when I was actively going out. I'm not mentioning that to impress you but to impress upon you that you can take your dating life to the next level... IF you are equipped with the right knowledge and a desire to take massive action.
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