Why Did She Leave Me?

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How can she leave you like that when you guys have spent so much time and share so many memories together?

You just don’t understand how girls can go from being so loving and affectionate to turning cold in such a short period of time.

So, what are the possible reasons she decided to leave you?

Let’s talk about that.

She Left You For Another Man

Maybe, she found a better option, and she no longer has the incentive to stay with you.

A lot of men have this misconception that most girls are loyal, and that they won’t cheat under any circumstance.

But the truth is that most women are loyal because they just haven’t had the chance to cheat.

They just haven’t encountered the right man at the right time for them to feel the urge to sacrifice their relationship with the man they are with.

But, when the right opportunity presents itself, she may very well leave you for another man in a heartbeat.

And I want you to realize that this is not some red pill BS where I’m saying every woman cannot be trusted.

What I’m saying applies to both men and women.

Most of us are opportunistic creatures.

Most people just do not have strong moral principles, and they won’t hesitate to do things that are morally questionable if they are faced with the right opportunity.

This also means, whether a girl cheats or not, is sometimes out of your control.

What kills most men is having that “expectation” from women.

They think things have to be a certain way and people have to treat them a certain way.

They think women should not flirt with other men, and women should not cheat.

While you can argue those are all “morally correct” thing to do, you also need to accept that other people’s behaviors are largely out of your control.

The only thing that is within your control is your own behavior.

So, all you can do is to be the type of man that would attract your ideal woman because you attract who you are.

Start expecting less from others.

Most people are nice and friendly once you get to know them, but most people also do not have firm standards.

So, more often than not, you will be left disappointed when you expect too much from others.

She Lost Interest

Once you and the girl have been seeing each other for a while, it is really easy for everything to get stale and boring.

As with anything that is worthwhile in life, a good relationship requires a continuous effort to sustain.

It is possible you (and her) took things for granted for too long, and it is now late to salvage your relationship at this point.

She may find it impossible to envision the next 40, or 50 years with you when she already doesn’t feel anything toward you at this point.

And she decided it is best to leave you rather than dragging out a broken relationship.

When she has decided to move on from you, it can be incredibly difficult to change her mind.

The more you try to get her back, the more it just confirms to her that she made the right decision.

When my first girlfriend wanted to leave me, I did everything a desperate man could possibly do to get her back.

I cried my eyes off, telling her how much I love her and how well I would treat her if she stayed with him.

I wrote her a long email talking about how special she is and how I can’t live without her.

It makes me cringe thinking about it, but I’m glad I’ve been through that phase because I learned something from it.

But anyway, the more I tried to get her back, the further she ran away from me.

None of my genuine confession had any effect on changing her mind (Things don’t really work out like the way it does in Hollywood movies in real life…).

It was only when I completely let go of my desire to get her back and focused on my life that she tried crawling back into my life.

And I urge you to just live your life if a woman leaves you.

She has already lost respect and interest for you if she decided to leave you.

You should have some self-respect and stop holding onto a girl who does not want you as much as you want her.

I am sure you have heard about going “no contact” and purposely ignoring a girl if she were to leave you.

While those are all way more effective ways to get a woman back than clinging onto a girl, it is still better to just naturally stop contacting her as a result of you living your life.

This is so effective because it creates that sense of emptiness in a girl’s mind when she realizes you don’t really care about her anymore.

Most women (and a lot of men as well) are extreme validation seekers, and you have been her primary source of validation for a long time when you were in a relationship.

When you take every ounce of validation away from her, then it is almost impossible for her to not feel that void.

And she will have no choice but to re-fill what has been emptied for her to feel normal again.

Sometimes, she will do this by seeking validation from other men in her life.

But, she will most likely seek your validation first and foremost because she is already used to you, and you are her safe and comfortable choice.

No Physical Intimacy

Physical intimacy is a big part of a healthy relationship.

Without physical intimacy, you may as well call it a friendship because that is exactly what it is.

Do you barely touch each other when you guys are hanging out?

Do you rarely have sex?

Even when you do have sex, it may be without the same degree of passion you and the girl used to have.

And you guys are just going through the motion with no connection.

Maybe, you (or her) let go of yourself a little once you started seeing her.

You don’t take as good care of yourself, and you may have even gained a little bit of weight.

These can all have a combined effect to diminish her attraction toward you.

You are no longer that attractive man she saw when you guys met for the first time, and she barely has any physical attraction toward you.

At this point, it is extremely difficult to reverse that.

Just as it took you gradual time for you to let go of yourself, it will also take some time for you to become your old attractive self.

But, she has no patience to wait for you to change since she no longer feels the same way about you anymore.

The only logical thing for you to do at this point is to take it as a learning lesson and not repeat the same mistake in the future.

Make sure to spice up your sex life and do not let it get stale when you start seeing a girl in the future.

Make sure to not be complacent in how you take care of yourself and always maintain a good shape.

Everything is predictable

I briefly touched on this topic earlier but I want to go more in-depth on this because it such a vital concept to understand.

You can only feel high when you also feel low.

Traditional dating advice focuses on providing the most amazing experience for your woman, so you can make her feel loved as much as you possibly can.

But, you need to realize that even good experiences can quickly turn into terrible experiences if they become predictable.

Let’s illustrate these with some examples.

Say your favorite food is sushi. How long do you think it will remain as your favorite food if you ate sushi three times a day for one whole year?

You will probably never touch sushi ever again after that period.

Or let’s say you go to an amusement park and ride a rollercoaster because you want to have some fun and exciting time.

If you were to ride a rollercoaster every single day for the next three months, would you really feel anything by the time you step into a rollercoaster on your last day?

When you step out of your last rollercoaster ride, you would swear that you would never ever go near the amusement park for the rest of your life.

And this idea is what is missing in a lot of traditional dating advice.

They only focus on giving “highs” to girls while they barely put any emphasis on the “lows”.

And what ends up happening to men who follow this advice is that they are taken for granted by the women in their lives, and they don’t get the respect they deserve for the amount of effort they put into a relationship.

So, how can we put this into practice, so she gets hooked on you, and it won’t even cross her mind to leave you?

I believe this one advice I’m about to tell you will give you the most return on investment than any of the “tactics” I can share with you.

And my advice is to be “real” with women.

What do I mean by that?

Think about the person that you are most “real” with. Is it your brother or sister? Or maybe it is your best friend.

How do you talk and act when you are around them?

I would imagine they are the first people to share your good news. When you feel good, you don’t hesitate to contact them to share your positive emotion.

How about when you are not feeling so great?

You don’t try to fake how you feel by putting on a BS mask in front of them.

You understand they love and accept you despite how you feel, and you are transparent with your emotion when you are around them for the most part.

And that is exactly what you want to do when you are with a girl you like.

Don’t try to pretend like you are feeling awesome when you are feeling like trash.

It doesn’t mean you use feeling like crap as an excuse to lash it out on her. That is a sign of emotional weakness and women will be turned off by that.

But you simply express how you feel in an honest manner.

Or when a girl does something that goes against your value, you let her know that you are disappointed in her behavior without making a big fuss about it.

Or when she is being completely unreasonable and refuses to communicate, you ignore her rather than rewarding her poor behavior by catering to her BS.

I am sure you get my point by now.

When you do this, anything and everything you do to help her feel more positive will mean that much more because they are balanced out by the “lows” that naturally occur when you are real with girls.

Do you see how this is not at all manipulative?

In fact, you are just being radically honest with women you have a relationship with, which is the foundation of any form of a healthy relationship.

There is no need to memorize some rehearsed lines to “push and pull” as some dating coaches may advise you to do.

There is no need to intentionally be an asshole just so you can make her experience the lows.

You are just fully being yourself and, as an added bonus, she starts to feel an even stronger attraction toward you.

She left because of her family and friends

Most women are very easily influenced by the opinion of their mother and friends.

So, it is entirely possible that people around her played a major role in making her choose to leave you.

When you guys have a fight, she may initially try to work things out with you.

But somewhere along the line, her mom (or her best friend) offers her perspective on what she should do.

And instead of trying to understand the situation and offer a balanced perspective on things, her mom is quick to encourage her to leave you.

It makes sense for her mother to do this because it will just sound like you are treating her like crap when your girlfriend explains her biased view of the situation to her mom.

Your girlfriend then follows her mom’s advice rather than thinking for herself.

This random advice from people around her usually only complicate things further, and they are not very useful since they are not based on a clear picture of what is going on.

This is exactly what I experienced in one of my past relationships.

Whenever the girl I was seeing and I had an altercation, she would quickly rush to her mom to get her opinion.

And her mom would give her perspective from the most biased point of view.

Then, my ex-girlfriend would follow her mom’s order like her little puppet.

And this is why it is terrible to get into a relationship with a girl who can’t think and make decisions for herself.

These girls will always rely on people in their lives to make important decisions for themselves.

You will often feel like the health of your relationship is always at the effect of opinions of people around her.

The simple solution is to not get into a relationship with a woman who can’t think for herself in the first place.

It is just not worth your time and effort to waste your life with a woman who is operating at a much lower consciousness than where you are at.

You may wrongly assume you can lift her up (assuming you are more mature than her), but she will likely just bring you down to her lower level of consciousness.

And you guys will start having fights over the most mundane and trivial things.

She left because you didn’t give her space

You thought love is all about spending as much time as you possibly can with the person you love.

But, as Lao Tzu says, “The flame that burns twice as bright burns half as long”.

When you fall madly in love with someone in a short period of time, that feeling of love is going to disappear just as fast when that initial high wears off.

This is a common mistake many men make when they do not yet have a lot of experiences with women.

They try to spend every one of their waking hours with the girl they are seeing while completely disregarding every other aspect of their life.

They discontinue all of their hobbies, and they stop hanging out with their close friends, and their entire life revolves around that one girl they are seeing.

And when they inevitably break up with the girl, they are left with nothing.

It is especially important for you to avoid falling into this trap if you don’t have a lot of experience with women.

You need to make sure you have your own life outside of hanging out with the girl you are seeing.

That way, she is actually going to be excited to hang out with you again, and this will, in turn, make her less likely to want to leave you.

Anyway, that’s my two cents on why she left you and what you can do about it to not repeat the same mistake again.

I wish you the best of luck!

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