Why Cant I Get A Girlfriend

Don’t read this if you’ve never wondered if you will ever find someone who loves and cares for you (other than your mom).

This was a legitimate fear of mine as I had failed to find any girl who would give me the time of her day throughout my high school and college years.

I won’t go any further into my sob story as I’ve done that many times already in my other articles.

If you are asking yourself why you can’t find a girlfriend although it seems so easy for everyone else, then this article is for you.

The first and the most likely reason is that..

You simply don’t talk to enough girls

Sounds like a pretty common sense eh?

But, think about it. If you’re not talking to enough girls, how exactly are you supposed to find a girl that’s a right fit for you?

This is precisely the problem I had and the core reason that led me to end up as a 26-year-old virgin.

Whenever I was in class or at the gym, I would never ever initiate a conversation with girls.

I always hoped someone would come over and strike a conversation with me. I was always waiting for someone to reach out to me instead of reaching out to another person first.

If I had to really dig deeper into the root of what was causing such behavior, I think it’s because I was so afraid of rejection. I was so afraid how other person would respond when I reached out first. I was so afraid of getting a bad reaction.

Often, all you need to do is just step out of that comfort zone and start saying ‘hi’ to people you see at places you frequent.

If you go to the gym frequently, then start acknowledging people at the gym, and don’t be afraid to make eye contact with people.

If you are sitting in class. Don’t be afraid to talk to the girl sitting next to you and ask her how she is finding the class so far.

Don’t have any expectation whatsoever. All too often, people put so much pressure on themselves and never end up opening their mouth. Just start small and see where it takes you.

If you are the type of person who has no issue whatsoever talking to your friends but you just feel nervous talking to girls, then it’s actually not very difficult to fix. You just need to push your comfort zone a little and put yourself out there.

On the other hand, if..

You are talking to enough girls but you are repelling them

Then, there may be a bigger problem.

You may not even possess enough social awareness to just have a friendly conversation with girls.

If you can’t sustain a longer than a few minutes of conversation with either girls or your guy friends, then your primary focus should really be to improve your basic social skill first.

As counter-intuitive as it sounds, improving your basic social skill will help you get that first girlfriend faster than if you were to strictly focus on chasing girls.

I’ve seen this all too often with guys that are in a so-called pick-up community. They’ve been going out for years and years and they get sporadic results here and there. Or they may even get very good at pulling drunken girls at nights.

But, they are still socially awkward. They still have a huge difficulty expressing themselves and connecting with a stranger they meet.

When I see those guys, I can’t help but think to myself, “What was the point of spending all those time going out if you can’t even build a basic rapport with someone you meet?”

I sure as hell hope your goal isn’t to become a weird, awkward dude who occasionally picks up drunken girls from the bar after spending years of going out.

So, here’s the action plan.

Whichever place you most frequent whether it be gym, school, or work. Try to talk to as many people as you can whenever you can. And really study how they react to what you say. Do most people seem to get bored when you start talking? When do they respond positively to you?

Take a mental note of how people respond to you when you make certain expressions or say certain things.

Then, make sure you write down those in your phone or your computer. Most of us are extremely forgetful. So, just kind of thinking about it in your head won’t help you to make any long-term change.

When you reach this point, it’s simply a matter of eliminating what doesn’t work with people while doing more of what works.

You will eventually reach a point where you will be armed with all the attractive qualities and naturally attract girls you talk to.

This is the exact step I took to get my first girlfriend and finally lose my virginity at the age of 26. I was still too much of a wuss to ask her out (which would be considered unattractive quality).

Despite that, she couldn’t help but feel attraction toward me because I was demonstrating enough attractive qualities for her to fall for me.

So far, we’ve covered talking to anyone and everyone to improve your social skill and maximizing your chance of getting a girlfriend, is there possibly any other way?

One way is to cold approach a girl if your social setting simply doesn’t allow you to meet with any girls

But..!

Like I said earlier, focusing on cold approach before you have a basic social skill down is a very pointless endeavor for most guys I’ve found.

If you do, however, believe that you are equipped with basic social skill, then cold approach can certainly be a wonderful tool for expanding your option.

I go into great detail on how you can approach a girl in a cold approach situation in this guide so I won’t elaborate in this article.

What I want to focus on here is how exactly you can frame the interaction so she can become your girlfriend if that is your goal.

So, say you approached her and got a date and you even shared some of your masculine energy with her at your place.

There are certain steps that you definitely want to take if you want to see her again.

Before or after you sleep with her, you want her to share something vulnerable about her. The reason being is that we actually feel a deeper emotional connection to someone when we share something we usually don’t share with others.

So, how exactly do you accomplish this?

You lead by example. Share something vulnerable about yourself and get her into that emotional state where she feels comfortable sharing about her own vulnerability.

When you do this, you will see girls respond a lot more to you after that first date.

Contrary to what many dating coaches say, simply just having sex with her as fast as you can isn’t the answer in many cases.

You want to make sure you form that emotional connection when you are on a date with her along with sex.

About the Author Jon Go

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