What Traits attract a Woman?

Let’s debunk myths about what traits women find attractive in men.

Speaking with no filter (to a degree)

Let me elaborate.

If you talk with no filter (without worrying about what she thinks of you), it means you are not attached to her approval.

This communicates you do not care whether she likes you or not.

A lot of women can’t help but feel attracted to a man who does not care what opinions they have of him.

The less you care, the more room you leave for a woman to chase.

This is why you see a lot of ‘assholes’ (who do not care about what they say) effortlessly attract women.

These men often say things that may be politically incorrect, but girls somehow love them for it.

I need to warn you, however, that you need to be careful not to cross the line.

There is a fine line between a ‘charming asshole’ and an ‘inconsiderate douchebag’.

You need to learn how to express yourself unapologetically, but in a way, that other people can relate.

And that usually means communicating in a manner that girls fully understand where you are coming from, so there is no room for misinterpretation.

If you just spit out things with a lot of room for misinterpretation, others will often interpret them however they want, and that can potentially cause a lot of conflicts in any form of relationship.

It is also important to keep a hint of ‘playfulness’ when you express yourself to a woman.

For example, let’s say you tell a girl she looks nerdy.

There is a world of difference between you telling a girl she looks nerdy with a monotone voice and a straight face versus you telling her she looks nerdy because of her cute little glasses as you give her a playful smirk.

The latter will elicit a great reaction from most girls whereas the former will usually only elicit a good response from a girl who is already into you.

Playfulness of a child

Let me clarify that I’m not encouraging you to act like an irresponsible kid.

That is not being playful. That’s simply being immature.

That being said, playfulness is one of the most attractive traits you can demonstrate when interacting with women.

Everyone is bored and stressed.

When you become a beacon of light to her mundane life, it is going to be impossible for her to not feel attraction to you.

Don’t be afraid to tease her and make jokes, and keep things positive, so she feels uplifted when she sees you.

You also want to have a sense of humor and relaxedness even under the most stressful circumstance.

This trait alone will make you more magnetic than 99% of men out there.

A lot of women stress over the littlest things, so if you can become her pillar, she is going to rely on you for emotional support.


I’m sure you’ve heard millions of times that confidence attracts women.

But, what exactly is confidence anyway?

I want to talk about two types of confidence that you must absolutely master if you want to attract women.

Those are…

The confidence to approach women despite fear, and the belief in yourself that you are enough for any girl you meet.

I really want to emphasize the confidence to approach women ‘despite’ fear.

I want you to realize it is not about having no fear.

Your fear will always be there.

Rather, it is about taking the needed action to transform your life no matter how much fear you have.

Most men wait until they ‘feel’ right to do something.

But, the truth is you will never reach a point where you feel right enough to approach a girl.

You will always have a little bit of anxiety before you go up to that beautiful girl and initiate a conversation.

Here is my little tip to make this process easier.

I want you to realize that the anxiety you feel in your body when you are about to approach a woman is no different than the physiological sensation you experience when you feel excitement.

So, every time your body fills up with anxiety, I want you to re-frame it as excitement.

Every time your heart beats a little faster, think of it as a cue to go talk to her rather than a sign to abort.

Hit the gym

While you can’t change your face or height, you can greatly change the shape of your body by putting on muscles and reducing the amount of body fat you have.

Most girls prefer a man with a larger muscle over a man who is skinny.

Don’t be fooled by a woman saying she prefers skinny men.

Look at the studies that examine a woman’s actual preference for different body types.

Studies consistently show women prefer a man with a V-shaped torso with a well-developed upper body musculature.

When a girl says she is not into a muscular man, she often means she is not into a man who looks like a steroid freak.

The good news is you will likely never look too freakish for a girl even if you spend hours every day at the gym.

99% of men simply do not possess genetics to look freakish even if they did their best to put on muscles.

So, get off your lazy ass and sign up for the gym!

When you are at the gym, I want you to really focus on developing your shoulder and back muscles while keeping your bodyfat at a reasonable range. They play the most important role in adding width to your body (thus, giving that v-shape).

I would love to say your legs are just as important (since I have really big legs from years of squatting), but most girls do not care about legs unless they are really out of proportion.

I want to clarify I’m not saying you should go to the gym with the sole goal of building a physique to impress girls (in fact, you will not last long if that is your only motivation), but I wanted to focus on a girl’s preference here because that is what this article is all about.

Your style

A lot of girls care about how you dress.

If you dress like a bum, you can bet you will be treated like a bum.

Improving style is also a great equalizer for men who are not blessed with the best genetics.

There is not much you can do to improve your facial aesthetics apart from surgery, but you can almost immediately improve your style when you get help from someone who knows about a good fashion sense.

That being said, the most important foundation of a good fashion (especially in the summer) is your body.

If you have a body that is completely out of shape, you do not have much to work with.

But, a good body is only a pre-requisite.

It is important you wear something that fits your body to show off your positive attributes (assuming you have a good body).

This means you need to avoid wearing an outfit that looks baggy (or with a lot of slack).

Generally speaking, keep it simple and avoid wearing clothes that are too bright, or with a lot of graphics.


I can never emphasize enough about the importance of a smile.

No, I’m not talking about how straight your teeth are when you smile.

It is the way you smile that will drastically influence whether a girl can picture a romantic relationship with you or not.

If a girl says something, and you give her a wide ear-to-ear smile every single time, it communicates you are completely sold on her.

You are essentially indirectly letting her know you are really into her.

And this is not exactly the type of message you want to communicate when you are just getting to know a girl.

If a girl feels like she’s got you completely figured out, she is going to lose interest in most cases.

It is important you maintain a certain level of ambiguity at the beginning of a relationship.

So, how do you effectively communicate that with your smile?

You want a playful smirk to be your default smile.

This is different from a ‘try-hard smirk’ that makes you look like you are trying really hard to look like George Clooney.

It is the type of smirk that a boy would make after he’s done something naughty that he shouldn’t have done.

It is great to have a little bit of child-like innocence as it can serve as the best weapon for disarming a woman’s heart.

If you are not used to smiling, start out by practicing in front of the mirror.

Developing an attractive smile really is no different than if you were to practice to become a better dancer or a boxer.

You need to make sure you are ingraining a proper motor pattern by practicing your technique in front of the mirror.

You need to do the same thing for developing an attractive smile.

Pick someone with a nice smirk and try to copy his smirk in front of the mirror.

Do this daily just for a few minutes.

As you practice more, you will start to find your own unique smirk that makes you look most attractive.

Anyway, I hope this article shed some light on what traits women actually find attractive in men.

I wish you the best of luck!

About the Author Jon Go

I was Introduced to the world of seduction after being a virgin for the first 26 years of life and being dumped by my first girlfriend at the age of 28. The dating world wasn't so kind to a 28-year-old Asian man who barely had any experience with girls. But, I eventually cracked the "code" and began "attracting" two to three new girls a week on average when I was actively going out. I'm not mentioning that to impress you but to impress upon you that you can take your dating life to the next level... IF you are equipped with the right knowledge and a desire to take massive action.