I don’t know what to say… she might think I’m stupid if I say that.
Yeah… I should just stick to talking about cats and dogs because that’s what every girl likes to talk about.
But I’m really curious if she likes anal or not…
Is your brain constantly filled with those little voices that tell you to keep your mouth shut?
Are you worried if she is going to judge you and you are going to throw away all your chance with her if you say something stupid?
Then congratulation… this article will eradicate your fear and help you to become a new confident man who never has to worry about what to say when talking to girls.
Without further ado, let’s get right into it…
A lot of pressure comes from the fact you want your conversation to go perfect.
You are looking for that one topic, that one sentence, that one word that is going to impress her.
But you need to realize it is just an illusion that is created in your head. Your conversation will never be perfectly smooth when talking to girls.
There will be awkward pauses and silences… there will be topics that you feel like you have nothing in common with.
Once you accept those are all a natural part of a conversation, you will lift a lot of burden off of your shoulder.
If you let go of your desire to have a perfect conversation with a girl and accept there will be ups and downs, you will no longer feel needy.
There is no more urge to keep talking for the sake of talking or trying to mpress her in any way.
And funnily enough, when you let go of that desire to impress her, you will start giving girls enough space for her to pursue and chase you instead of you always being the one to chase and initiate.
How awesome is that?
You may feel like you have to do all the work… that you are the one who has to carry a conversation.
But you need to understand she is just as much responsible as you for keeping a conversation going.
This is especially true when you are talking to a girl on a date.
The fact she’s made a conscious decision to be on a date with you shows that she’s attracted to you.
In such a case, there really is no reason for you to feel the pressure to “perform”.
She is into you as much as you are into her and it is a team effort at that point for both of you to share a great experience together.
If you genuinely put in an effort to get to know her and she is not reciprocating, then it may very well be on her and not you.
It is easy for you, as a man, to think you are the one who’s at fault if things don’t go as planned especially if you are really attracted to the girl.
But you need to grow a spine and be willing to walk away if she is not giving you anything to work with.
Most of your problem in a conversation comes from the fact you are over-thinking before you open your mouth.
Your obsession with saying the “right” thing is completely killing the flow of your interaction with her.
It is like telling professional athletes to think through each of their moves while they are competing in their sports.
A group of researches carried out an experiment testing exactly that, and most professional athletes who participated in the study saw a marked decrease in their performance.
The more you “think” about saying the right thing, the less your interaction will flow naturally.
And she will start to feel like there is no chemistry between you and her.
You know when girls talk about how they just didn’t “click” with the guy?
Half the time, it is because you were so in your head that you failed to stay present with the girl who is sitting in front of you.
So whatever it is on your mind, do not hold back and freely express yourself (This does not apply if you are a complete nutcase but I assume you are at least normal if you made it this far in the article…).
When you do that, you will often notice you and the girl start to bond quickly effortlessly.
I do need to warn you, however, that there will be times that you accidentally offend her.
When that happens, you simply communicate to her it was not your intention to make her feel that way.
If she is sensible, she will understand you did not mean to make her feel bad and won’t make a big deal out of it.
But it is possible you may come across a sensitive girl every now and then.
Ask yourself this in such a case.
If she is the type of girl who easily gets offended by your humor, do you really even want to talk to her in the first place?
Just because she may have a hot piece of ass does not mean you should put her on a pedestal.
This is one of the best ways to build rapport with someone at a lightning speed.
You don’t build rapport quickly by showering them with compliments nor explicitly telling them how much you like them.
You build a strong rapport with people by talking to them as if you have known them for a long time.
When you talk to her as if she is your girlfriend, she will often fall into your frame.
When two people are interacting, the person with a weaker frame always falls into the frame of a person with a stronger frame.
If you hold your frame with a girl, she will start to eventually act as if she’s known you for a long time as well (or she won’t accept your frame and leave which is fine as well since you will not have wasted your precious time).
What you do NOT want to do (which a lot of guys do) is to be all formal with the girl you just met (That is if you want to build a strong connection with her quickly…)
Eliminate this idea in your head that you need to go through certain stages before she feels comfortable with you.
Those are all BS idea that you created in your own head…
You know when girls say, “I’ve only known him for a few (…) but I feel such strong connection with him”?
THIS is how you create that tight bond in record time.
This does not apply to every girl… but if the conversation is flowing nicely between you and the girl, do not be afraid to talk about anything.
Yes… that means even anal sex as we talked about earlier in this article.
I want to emphasize once again that you are the one who is creating all these restrictions for yourself.
You have been conditioned to believe that you should not talk about this or that topic on a first date (Or when you are talking to a girl for the first time).
And THAT mental block is what is preventing you from forming that amazing connection with her.
I’ve talked about any and every topic that is supposed to be a big no-no on the first date at this point…
My past relationship… sexual fetish… the craziest (sexual) thing I’ve done… You name it.
And bringing up these topics rarely ever had a detrimental effect in “bonding” with a girl
In fact, it often allowed us to bond faster because the girl felt like she could talk about anything with me.
As long as it feels natural to bring these topics up in that moment, do not be afraid to do so.
So go ahead and eliminate all your mental blocks and unleash the voices within you when you talk to her!
I was Introduced to the world of seduction after being a virgin for the first 26 years of life and being dumped by my first girlfriend at the age of 28. The dating world wasn't so kind to a 28-year-old Asian man who barely had any experience with girls. But, I eventually cracked the "code" and began "attracting" two to three new girls a week on average when I was actively going out. I'm not mentioning that to impress you but to impress upon you that you can take your dating life to the next level... IF you are equipped with the right knowledge and a desire to take massive action.
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