Going on a first date can be a nerve-wracking experience.
Not only are you worried about looking great for a first date, but you are also worried you might bore her or forget things to say in the middle of your interaction.
In this article, you will learn about what to say on a first date with a woman, and you will also learn some of the most important principles you need to keep in mind to leave the best possible impression when you are on a date with a woman.
Once you finish reading this article, I promise your mind will never ever be filled with fear and anxiety about what to say on a date, so let’s get right into it if you are ready!
1. Keep everything light
It’s your first time on a date, and there is ought to be a lot of awkwardness and uncomfortable tension during the date.
This doesn’t mean you can’t talk about deep topics (as we will soon discuss), but it does mean you should make sure to sprinkle in a pinch of lightness to most things you talk about with her on a first date.
Whenever there is too much pressure, it is in our nature to avoid it.
So, don’t be afraid to say some random things that catch her off guard or make jokes to alleviate the pressure.
She will appreciate your effort even if it’s not exactly funny.
You also want to remember that the fact she is on a date with you means she already likes you.
There is no reason for you to try so hard to impress her and win her over.
Reminding yourself of this fact will help you to feel less pressure on a date.
Just relax and use your first date as an opportunity to get to know her better.
2. Don’t be afraid to tease her
Some dating coaches may advise you to tease a woman to bring her value down, but this is a rather crappy mindset to adopt in my humble opinion.
Instead, teasing a woman on a first date serves exactly the same purpose as what we had discussed in the previous section.
Let me ask you this.
Do you enjoy it when a woman puts you on a pedestal, and she thinks you are the most awesome thing ever?
Some may say yes, but most would not feel comfortable to date a woman like that.
And why is that?
It’s because we know that type of love or admiration is not something that is sustainable.
You are probably afraid that once the honeymoon phase is over, and she sees the real you, she is not going to feel the same way toward you anymore.
We want someone who is aware of our flaws and acknowledges our flaws but still accepts us for who we are, not someone who will “worship” us.
And women feel exactly the same way when it comes to a man she would date.
When you tease her, you are indirectly letting her know you do not put her on a pedestal, and that will actually help her to feel more at ease.
You obviously do not want to go overboard with it or make any offensive comments, but just a light playful tease about her innocent smile will often do.
3. What you are looking for
Once again, I don’t want you to get into all serious “interview’ mode with whatever things you talk about on a first date.
You don’t want to forget to keep the overall tone of the interaction light as we had previously talked about.
But, it is a good idea to talk about what you (and her) are looking for at this moment in your life.
Time is the most valuable asset, and you do not want to be wasting any of your time with someone who is on a completely different page.
Are you looking to have fun, or are you potentially looking for something serious?
Or maybe, you don’t have any expectations.
How about her?
What is she looking for?
These are some of the questions you want to ask early on if you do not want to waste your (and her) time.
Yet again, the key is to develop the ability to have this type of conversation while not making the overall tone of the interaction too heavy.
4. Your ambition
I am not saying you should give her a long speech about how you are going to become the president, or you will make the World peace come true (although you certainly can if you aspire to do those).
But, there is a good reason you want to at least briefly talk about your ambition (or your grand purpose in life if you want to call it that).
First, women are evolutionarily wired to feel a stronger attraction toward a man with ambition.
When you have a worthwhile ambition, it tells her brain that you are different than most men she’s interacted with in the past (since most men’s ambition consists of buying a nice BMW in their 30s).
And once again, the entire purpose of a first date is to get to know each other on a deeper level (without putting too much pressure on each other, of course).
The more you can speed up this process, the less time you are going to be wasting with the wrong person.
It would be a good idea to get to know about her goals and ambition as well.
A person’s ambition tells a lot about what he or she is like as a person (assuming it’s accompanied by action), so if you are looking for something more than just pure physical qualities from a woman, it would be a good idea to get to know these things.
5. How you (and her) live your life
This doesn’t matter too much if you are looking for a casual relationship, but if you are looking for anything serious, it will certainly be a deal-breaker if the way you live your life does not match hers.
For example, if you are the type of person who enjoys spending time at home on your off-days, but she is the type who constantly has to do something, then it is highly unlikely the relationship is going to be sustainable in the long run.
This can be something that seems as trivial as having a different sleep schedule.
If you always go to bed late, but she has to sleep early for her work, then that is going to cause a lot of trouble (assuming things get serious between you two, and you guys move in together).
You most certainly want to find out how she lives her life before you decide to commit to her.
Don’t ask these questions as if you are interviewing her (especially on a first date).
But, as an example, you can talk about how you weren’t able to get proper sleep last night and casually ask her if she ever struggles with her sleep, then you can transition into talking about what time she goes to bed.
Be as creative as you want when you ask this type of question.
Just be sure to not bombard her with one question after another as that will quickly kill the overall vibe of the interaction.
6. Talk about how you became the person you are today
This is actually one of my favorite topics to talk about on a first date.
As you talk about your childhood, your experiences in high school and college, and harsh breakups (Yes, you don’t necessarily have to avoid this topic on a first date if it feels right to talk about it), you are helping her understand who you are on a deep level.
As you talk about your stories, don’t be afraid to talk about all of the challenges and struggles you faced and how you overcame them.
It is often those challenges that others can relate to.
And by you being vulnerable enough to express yourself in an authentic way, not only are you going to make her feel more comfortable to talk about herself, but it will also help her feel a stronger connection toward you.
A lot of men believe that this is the type of topic that should be saved for a later date, but I don’t agree with that.
As we have been emphasizing throughout this article, the faster you can help a woman get to know you better by opening yourself up, the less time you are going to waste.
So, don’t be afraid to be vulnerable if it feels right to do so even if it is your first date.
7. Talk about your passion
So, why is it a good idea to talk about passion?
As Maya Angelou says, “People won’t remember what you said, but they will remember how you made them feel”.
When you talk about your passion, you will naturally become more energetic and enthusiastic.
Your eyes will light up, and your tone will be filled with excitement.
Your positive emotion is going to be contagious, and you will most likely end up making her experience the same emotion you are experiencing as you talk about your passion.
And this doesn’t have to be something grand like feeding millions of starving kids or improving the education system in North America.
For example, I love going to the gym, so when I’m on a date, I occasionally talk about what lifts I like to do at the gym and what type of diet I follow when I’m trying to lose fat (women love talking about the best ways to lose weight for obvious reasons).
As you talk about your passion, you want to make sure she’s with you by getting her to contribute to a conversation by asking her questions.
And you don’t want to get too carried away with what you are saying to the point she ends up becoming disengaged, but you should most definitely never shy away from talking about something you are passionate about.
It will make a woman feel a stronger attraction toward you.
I was Introduced to the world of seduction after being a virgin for the first 26 years of life and being dumped by my first girlfriend at the age of 28. The dating world wasn't so kind to a 28-year-old Asian man who barely had any experience with girls. But, I eventually cracked the "code" and began "attracting" two to three new girls a week on average when I was actively going out. I'm not mentioning that to impress you but to impress upon you that you can take your dating life to the next level... IF you are equipped with the right knowledge and a desire to take massive action.
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