What to do when she doesn’t Text back

Hours and days pass by, and you still hear nothing back from her. So, what exactly should you do when she does not text back?

This is what you should do when she does not text back. First, refrain from getting mad at her. Second, spike her curiosity to get her to text back. And if all else fails, move on from her and go meet other girls. There are plenty of fishes in the sea

So, let’s get into specifics about what precisely you should do when a girl does not text you back.

Do Not Get Mad

First and foremost, do not ever get mad at her when she doesn’t text back.

It will accomplish nothing positive other than making you come off as an insecure brat, throwing a temper tantrum.

I do understand you can feel emotional when you felt like there was a genuine connection between you and her, only to realize she views you so insignificant that she couldn’t even be bothered to send you a short text.

But, that is why you should stay away from getting so emotionally attached to a woman until she proves her worth.

You also need to realize there can be a whole array of reasons why she is not texting you back.

Maybe, she started going out with her ex-boyfriend again (It’s a tough competition when she has years of history with him).

Maybe, she is suffering from anxiety or having bouts of depression, and she is isolating herself from everyone including you.

Maybe, she had a traumatic life event and she has no mental reserve to go out with any guy for the time being.

The possibility is infinite.

It will serve you well to train your brain to stop taking things so personally.

Just stop for a moment before you go ahead and send that text filled with anger and hatred.

First, take a deep breath and let go of all of your anger and frustration as you exhale.

Now, go ahead and delete that text.

You also want to take the time to introspect on why you are so easily triggered by such events.

Is it because of your past relationship with your ex-girlfriend when she never texted you back, and she ended up cheating on you with your best friend?

Is it because your mom was never there for you growing up?

I, too, have struggled with being needy when I started going out with a lot of women.

If I had to guess, I believe it was because my mom often left me alone at home, and she left to hang out with her boyfriend (after my parents got divorced).

When I started dating, I always had this fear that the girl would leave me for a better option, or she would eventually get sick and tired of being around me.

And I routinely engaged in self-sabotage by doing or saying something stupid that would ruin my relationship with her.

It was probably a defense mechanism for me to protect myself before the girl had a chance to end everything first.

Whatever your reason for that anger may be, let go of it.

Re-wire your brain with a new pattern of thought that is more beneficial for your mental health.

Arouse Curiosity


I said this before and I’ll say it again. And I’ll probably say it in the future as well.

Trigger her curiosity.

It is by far the most effective way to get a girl to reply when she stopped replying back to your text.

If she stopped replying to your text, it means she is not very emotionally invested in whatever relationship there is between you and her.

At this point, no amount of “convincing” is going to make her want to reply back to your text.

But, it is a different story if you can arouse her curiosity.

Our brain is wired in such a way when there is a gap in the information we come across, we can’t help but feel that strong urge to connect the dot.

But, how should you go about arousing her curiosity when she doesn’t text back?

1. Make it about her and not you. She doesn’t care much about you right now. Your effort to get her curious about you is likely going to backfire.

Arouse her curiosity about something that is relevant to her. We are all curious about what other people think of us.

2. Keep it simple. Don’t write those long texts to arouse her curiosity. Her brain will shut off before she even has the chance to process what you wrote.

Keep your text simple with just enough words to make her crave for that missing information you are withholding from her.

Let me give you one example that illustrates the use of curiosity principle in the text message.

“Hey, promise you won’t get mad at me for saying this but…”

Do you see how this line fulfills both of the requirements I listed above?

First, telling her she should not get mad implies what you are about to tell her is related to her.

Second, it is a simple (but powerful) sentence with no fluff.

It creates that nice gap in the information and she can’t help but wonder, what is he about to tell me?

So, what’s next when she responds to your text?

Call Her

Let’s say you are a salesman who has to make a sale in the next hour to keep your job.

What would you do?

Do you think you would start texting people on your phone to make a sale?

No. You would pick up your phone and start calling people because you instinctively understand that is the most efficient way to get things done.

And the same principle applies to the world of dating.

Most men (and women) feel awkward talking on the phone, thanks to the invention of Smartphone and the rise of social media.

But, if you are able to get over that mental hurdle, you will stand far above your competition.

There are only so many things you can communicate with words alone.

You are able to express yourself much more clearly when she is able to hear you on the phone.

Not only is it easier to persuade another person over the phone, but it will also reduce a lot of headaches that come from texting back and forth, and trying to figure out each other’s schedule.

You can get all of that done within a matter of 5 minutes with one phone call.

She may not be texting you back because she thinks you are boring and uninteresting.

But she will think twice when you call her, and you are able to express yourself with confidence over the phone.

There was one important incident when I realized the power of picking up that phone.

I was texting back and forth with this one girl I met at the bar.

I wanted to set up our first date at her place because I didn’t have my place back then.

And I also couldn’t be bothered seeing her outside because it was freezing outside.

Although she was very receptive over the text, she was still hesitant to invite me straight back to her place (Understandably so).

Eventually, I got tired of texting without making any progress in the interaction. So, I picked up the phone and called her.

Within a few minutes of talking to her on the phone, I was able to convince her to invite me over, and the rest is history.

Calling a girl also goes nicely with what we discussed in the previous section.

When she texts you back after you arouse her curiosity, you can call her immediately.

In most cases, she will pick up the phone because she’s dying to know what it is you are about to tell her.

Then, you can just play it off, vibe with her, and proceed to set up a date.

Be Productive

Don’t just sit there and wait for her to reply if she is not texting back.

Don’t keep checking your phone every two seconds to see if she replied back.

When your mind constantly focuses on something, your brain starts to place more importance on it.

You will become more desperate and needy as you think more about her.

Get out of your place and go for a walk.

Read books or get some work done.

What do you enjoy doing?

What sort of activity makes you become completely immersed and forget about time?

There are two ways to be less needy when it comes to your interaction with girls.

One is to fake it.

An example would be to intentionally delay your response to her text when you are not actually doing jack in real life.

Another way is to actually do something with your life.

When your life is busy and you are on your own path, then you will naturally spend less time checking your phone.

You may be able to fake non-neediness for a short while, but it will eventually show in your behaviors over the long haul.

When you do something with your life, you will become your own source of validation instead of always seeking others approval.

This will, in turn, skyrocket your confidence and your mood won’t fluctuate so much based on how others treat you.

So, stop checking your phone every few seconds when she doesn’t text back and fill that time up with something productive!

Move On

Honestly, this would be my primary advice when a woman doesn’t text back.

I totally understand your desire to want to see her again, especially if you felt like there was a genuine connection between you and her.

But, I want you to value yourself first before anyone else.

Does a woman who blatantly ignore your text message really deserve any of your attention?

If you think highly of yourself, you would not spend a minute dealing with a girl who disrespects you like that.

Just move on from her and go find another girl.

There are plenty of them.

This is the mistake I made in my early years of going out and talking to girls.

I got so attached to each and every girl that showed interest. And when they stopped responding to me, I got extremely needy and desperate for their validation.

I want you to avoid that trap.

I already talked about filling up your time with the things you enjoy doing to become less needy as a man.

Here is another thing I propose you to do in the future.

Don’t get so caught up with only seeing one girl at a time unless you are in a relationship.

Cast your net wide. Talk to a lot of different girls.

Don’t you want to find a girl that is most compatible with you?

If you want to improve your odds of finding that ideal girl for yourself, it only makes sense for you to talk to a lot of them.

What are the chances you are going to find the right girl at a first shot?

As an added bonus, you will become a lot less needy when you are abundant with different females in your life.

One girl doesn’t text you back? No problem.

There are three other girls you can text.

So many men become obsessed with that one girl they are seeing.

And they brainwash themselves into believing it is love when it is nothing more than desperation, that comes from not having options in their lives.

Anyway, these are some of the best advice I can give to someone who is heartbroken by a girl who doesn’t text back.

Stop wasting your time with this girl. Go out there and talk to more girls.

There are plenty of girls out there who are more than happy to reciprocate your text and treat you with respect.

About the Author Jon Go

I was Introduced to the world of seduction after being a virgin for the first 26 years of life and being dumped by my first girlfriend at the age of 28. The dating world wasn't so kind to a 28-year-old Asian man who barely had any experience with girls. But, I eventually cracked the "code" and began "attracting" two to three new girls a week on average when I was actively going out. I'm not mentioning that to impress you but to impress upon you that you can take your dating life to the next level... IF you are equipped with the right knowledge and a desire to take massive action.