It’s not easy to accept a breakup especially when you were envisioning future with the girl you loved.
I still vividly remember the time my first girlfriend wanted to break up with me.
I felt physically sick and it felt like I would never be able to recover from it.
I no longer cared about school, money, or anything else in life. I was willing to give anything if it meant I could get her back in my life.
So I tried everything.
I cried my eyes out and begged for her to stay.
I gave her a long speech about how much I love her and listed all the reasons she should stay with me.
I told her how well I’d treat her in the future and how we’ll grow old together
These feelings were very real at the time.
You know what though?
It actually cracks me up to think about all of that now.
Because I’ve come to realize that relationship means jack without you first learning how to value and love yourself.
I understand now that a healthy relationship simply cannot exist unless you value yourself.
But, I also acknowledge how real those feelings were at the time I was going through my first break-up.
So, If you are able to relate to any of the feelings I listed above, then you’re reading the correct article.
In this article, I will discuss some of the action steps that I know will help you to come out the other side better.
And it will completely transform you into a happier and a better version of yourself if you are willing to listen and implement.
Without any further ado, let’s dive right in.
Keep yourself busy at all times
What’s the best way to keep yourself out of depression and painful thoughts?
Keep your body moving. Be in that constant motion.
I know a lot of people are heavily into meditation these days, but I say motion beats meditation.
Don’t try to overcome your depressed feeling by sitting in the corner of your room and trying to meditate your way into a peaceful state.
The best way to get rid of toxic thoughts or bad habits is to replace them with another one.
All of your bad habits start creeping back up when you are feeling bored without a clear sense of direction.
Use the pain you are feeling as leverage to meet new people and experience new things. By doing so, you will be surprised at just how much you have grown as a person when you look back after a year.
Once again, don’t try to think your way out of your suffering. Start moving.
Practice no contact
Let me ask you this.
If you somehow do end up getting back with her, do you think you would be happy?
Do you think you would feel good about yourself?
I’ve been there. I had literally begged my girlfriend into giving me a second chance.
And guess what?
Your sense of self-worth hits rock bottom, and you end up feeling terrible about yourself even if you do manage to get back with her.
What is even worse? She’s not going to respect you from this point on.
She’ll be using you as her emotional sandbag when she feels the urge to blow off her steam. She realizes she has all the power in this relationship and things can only go downhill from there.
It may sound harsh but that is the truth.
My advice is simple.
Don’t contact her. Don’t check her social media. Don’t even try to make her jealous.
Simply erase her from every area of your life and fill your time up with new experiences and new people.
Cut her off completely instead of being her friend.
This will allow both you and your ex-girlfriend to move on faster, and you’ll be able to focus on improving yourself.
When enough time passes and you can talk about her in front of others without feeling a strong emotion, then you may choose to become friends with her if you wish to do so.
Until then, consider her dead from your world.
Should I get a new girlfriend right after a breakup?
I’m all for having fun with other girls after a break-up.
In fact, it can certainly be a great way to remedy pain.
But, I advise you to stay far away from getting into a committed relationship soon after you break up with your ex-girlfriend.
After a breakup, you’re in an emotionally heightened state.
And it’s often a lot easier to make a poor judgment when you are in such a state.
The last thing you want to do is to get into another toxic relationship that will further bring down your sense of self-worth.
So, give at least another half a year to a year until you even re-consider the possibility of starting a new relationship.
Keep yourself physically active
Have you ever felt depressed while you’re in the middle of intense exercise?
There is nothing like extreme physical exertion that forces you to get out of your head.
So, I recommend you to take on any hobby that challenges you physically if you don’t have one already.
Lifting is great because it allows you to challenge yourself while transforming your body.
Most of us derive happiness from setting goals and working toward them.
And lifting allows you to set goals and measure your progress.
As an added bonus, you will be able to fall asleep effortlessly when you tire yourself out during the day, and you won’t have to suffer from depressed thoughts lingering in your brain until late into the night.
Should I reply if she dumped me over text?
One of my friends asked this question before.
And I hope you know what I’m going to say at this point.
You definitely should NOT reply. Not only did she initiate a break-up with you, but she decided to do it over text.
What does that say?
It shows that she has zero respect for you. You are so irrelevant to her to the point that she doesn’t even feel the need to break up with you in person.
You shouldn’t have allowed things to get to this point.
But don’t be so hard on yourself.
All of us make mistakes and what really shapes us is whether we learn from our mistakes or not.
Don’t ever let any girl disrespect you like that from now on.
I personally followed the exact advice I have outlined in this article when my first girlfriend broke up with me.
As I said earlier, I managed to get her back by begging for her mercy the first time she wanted to break up with me.
I luckily came back to my senses the second time she wanted to break up and I let her go.
And thanks to her leaving me, I completely transformed into a different and better version of myself.
My confidence also went through the roof from putting myself first as opposed to allowing myself to be shackled into a toxic relationship.
Best of all, I met my second girlfriend who restored my faith in girls and helped me realize that not every girl is evil.
Without letting go of the first girl, I never ever would’ve given myself the opportunity to experience how amazing it can feel to be in a great relationship.
If you are struggling at this moment, just know there is a light ahead of you and hang in there.
Time heals all wounds.