It’s not easy to accept a breakup especially when you were envisioning future with the girl you loved.
I still vividly remember the time my first girlfriend wanted to break up with me.
I felt physically sick and it literally felt like I would never be able to recover from it..
I didn’t give a shit about school, money, or anything else in life. I was willing to give up on anything if it meant I could get her back in my life.
So I tried everything..
I cried my eyes out and begged for her to stay.
I gave her a 2-hour speech about how much I love her and listed all the reasons she should stay with me.
I told her how well I’d treat (‘serve’ may be more accurate term..) her in the future and how we’ll grow old and live happily ever together.
These feelings were very real at the time.
You know what though?
It actually cracks me up now thinking about it.
Because I’ve come to realize that relationship means jack without you first learning how to value and love yourself.
I understand now that a healthy relationship simply cannot exist without that.
But, I also acknowledge how real those feelings were at the time I was going through my first break-up.
So, If you are able to relate to any of the feelings I listed above, then you are at the right place.
In this article, I will discuss some of the action steps that I know for sure will help you to come out the other side better than before.
And it will completely transform you into a happier and a better version of yourself if you are willing to listen and implement.
Without any further ado, let’s dive right in.
First thing I want to talk about is..
What’s the best way to keep yourself out of depression and painful thoughts?
Keep your body moving. Be in that constant motion.
Motion beats meditation.
Don’t try to overcome your depressed feeling by sitting in the corner of your room and trying to meditate your way into a peaceful state.
The best way to get rid of toxic thoughts or bad habit is to replace them with another one.
All of your bad habits start creeping back up when you are feeling bored without a clear sense of direction.
Use the pain you are feeling as leverage to meet new people and experience new things. By doing so, you will be surprised at just how much you have grown as a person when you look back after a year.
Once again, don’t try to think your way out of your suffering. Start moving.
I’ll talk about one of the best hobbies you can start (if you aren’t doing it already) at the end of this article.
You may be asking..
Let me ask you this.
If you somehow do end up getting back with her, do you think you would be happy?
Do you think you would feel good about yourself?
I’ve been there. I had literally begged my girlfriend into giving me a second chance.
And guess what?
Your sense of self-worth hits rock bottom and you just end up feeling like a little piece of shit even when you do manage to get back with her.
What is even worse? You’re going to turn into her little bitch from this point on.
Her little emotional sandbag when she feels the urge to blow off her steam. She realizes she has all the power in this relationship now and you will turn into her little puppet.
It may sound harsh but that simply is the truth.
My advice is simple.
Don’t contact her. Don’t check her social media. Don’t even try to make her jealous.
Just simply erase her from every area of your life and fill your time up with new experiences and new people.
Cut her off completely instead of remaining as a friend or talking to her occasionally.
This will allow both you and your ex-girlfriend to move on from each other much faster… while allowing you to channel your focus on yourself.
When enough time passes and you can talk about her in front of others without feeling any emotion, then maybe you can one day become friend with her if you wish to do so.
Until then, consider her dead from your world.
You may also be asking if you..
I’m all for having fun and fooling around with as many girls as you please after a break-up.
In fact, it can certainly be a great way to remedy pain for some.
But, I urge you to stay far away from any form of committed relationship soon after you break up with your ex-girlfriend.
You are most likely still in a quite emotional state after a break-up.
And it’s often a lot easier to make a poor judgment when you are in an emotionally heightened state.
The last thing you want to do is to get into another toxic relationship that will further bring down your sense of self-worth and bring more misery.
So, give at least another half a year to a year until you even re-consider the possibility of starting a new relationship.
On the other hand, I would highly recommend you to..
Once again, have you ever felt depressed while you’re in the middle of physical exertion?
There is nothing like extreme physical exertion that forces you to get out of your head.
So, I recommend you to take on any hobby that challenges you physically if you don’t have one already.
Lifting is great because it allows you to challenge yourself while transforming your body which is a great confidence booster.
It is well known that us human derive most of our happiness from setting goals and working toward them.
And lifting is one of those hobbies in which you can set goals and very easily measure your progress (if you track your progress by the amount of weight you lift that is).
As an added bonus, you will be able to fall asleep effortlessly when you are back home instead of letting depressed thoughts linger in your brain until late into the night.
I included this here because I got this question from one of the readers.
I hope you know what I’m going to say at this point.
You definitely should NOT reply. Not only did she initiate a break-up with you, but she decided to do it over text.
What does that say?
It shows that she literally has zero respect towards you. You are so irrelevant to her to the point that she doesn’t even feel the need to break up with you in person.
You honestly completely fvcked up if you got to this point.
But don’t be so hard on yourself.
All of us make mistakes and what really shapes us is whether we learn from our mistakes or not.
Don’t ever let any girl disrespect you like that from now on.
I’m sure your mama didn’t go through all the hassles to have her precious son treated like a dog crap by others.
I personally had followed the exact advice I have outlined in this article when my first girlfriend decided to break-up with me.
As I said earlier, I managed to get her back by begging for her mercy the first time around.
But, I thankfully came back to my senses the second time she wanted to break up and I let her go.
Thanks to the break-up, I completely transformed into a different and a better version of myself… with all the new experiences I had gained post-break-up.
My confidence also went through the roof from putting myself first versus allowing myself to be shackled into a toxic relationship.
Best of all, the second girl I had gotten into a relationship with restored my faith in girls and helped me realize that not every girl is fvcked in the head (Although to be fair, I was as fvcked in the head as my first GF was.. You attract who you are).
Without letting go of the first girl, I never ever would’ve given myself the opportunity to experience how amazing it can truly feel to be in a great relationship.
If you are struggling at this moment, just know there is a light ahead of you and hang in there..
Time heals all wounds.
Anyway, that’s it for now.
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Till next time..
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