I just want a nice guy who treats me well and respects me.
But let’s be real.
We all know women look for a lot more in men than just a nice personality.
So, what are the qualities that women “actually” want rather than what they say they want?
Let’s talk about that.
Oh… by the way, the last point in this article is by far the most important quality (even above looks and money…) that women look for in a man, so don’t miss out on it!
Anyway, let’s continue.
Women are looking for a man who is carefree
Actually, let me re-phrase that by saying “everyone” is looking for a carefree person to hang around with.
Most people are incredibly stifled as they go about their days.
The rise of the internet and social media are producing more anxious and awkward people than ever before.
The research also supports that there is a high correlation between loneliness and social anxiety, and frequent use of social media.
I want you to realize people are feeling more stifled than ever in social interactions.
When you are able to not take things so seriously and be carefree around others, then you will become a beacon in the night among the crowd.
Most women are repelled by a man who is too formal and cautious with every word he says.
They can’t help but feel restricted around that type of energy.
Don’t you want to feel relaxed when you are hanging out with others? So do most people.
They want to be with a man who can “let go” and realize that nothing is a big deal in a grand scheme of things.
This does not mean women are looking for a loser who does not have any sense of personal responsibility (although this is not a huge disadvantage if you are only focused on short term encounters with women).
But, they want someone who deeply understands everyone has their own insecurities and imperfections, and he is not overly harsh on himself nor the people around him.
Women are looking for a humorous man
Laughter often is the key to a woman’s heart.
So, why is humor so attractive?
In order to be humorous, you need to be creative and intelligent, which are the hallmarks of a healthy brain.
It is an “honest signal” to women that you have good, healthy genes.
The study showed that the women who laughed more during their interaction with men were more likely to go on a date with them.
While the result of the study cannot be taken at face value, it does highlight the importance of humor in any form of human interaction (and especially a man-to-woman interaction).
But, is every type of humor all created equally?
Is it enough to simply make a girl laugh or does “how” you make her laugh matter just as much?
And here is the truth.
How you make her laugh matters just as much as if you make her laugh.
For example, if a girl laughs “at” you, then it would be worse than if she were to not laugh at all.
This is a sign that the girl views you as a low-value male and does not take you seriously.
And this is often the flaw of self-deprecating jokes.
A lot of men like to make jokes about their flaws in an effort to make women laugh.
This has two effects. On the one hand, it shows you are a carefree dude who does not take his flaws too seriously which is a good sign. On the other hand, it brings your value down (And by talking about your flaws, you are communicating that your flaw is still lingering in your thoughts, which also communicates you did not completely let go of your flaws).
Self-deprecating jokes are fine in moderation but too much of it will start to make women see you under a negative light.
For the most part, you want her to either laugh at herself (from the jokes you make about her) or you want her to laugh with you (at someone or something else).
In sum, it is true women look for a man who can make her laugh.
But, you should not focus on simply making her laugh as your priority.
Women are looking for a man with courage
Courage really is an attribute that you must cultivate as a man.
Women are desperately looking for a man who knows what he wants and go after what he wants with tenacity.
If you have any desire to go above and beyond what most normal men accomplish in their life, it requires a certain degree of courage.
Do you want that beautiful girl with an amazing personality that makes other men envious? You need courage.
Do you want to start a business and attain success beyond someone’s wildest dreams?
You need courage.
Being courageous can be magnetizing. Just a mere fact that you had enough courage to take that initiative can, in many cases, give you things that you didn’t think you deserve.
How many times have you seen an average guy walking around with a stunningly beautiful woman?
It is not at all uncommon to see such couples if you walk around in a big city.
Is it because he was the best looking, the richest, and the most charming man she could find?
It is a possibility, but most likely not.
It is the fact he had enough courage to approach her, ask her out, and speak to her in a man-to-woman way, that made him stand out among other men in her life.
So, be that man women are looking for and do not be afraid to express yourself unapologetically.
Women are looking for a responsible man
Sounds boring, eh?
What woman wants a guy who is responsible?
Words such as spontaneous and adventure sound so much more exciting than “responsibility”.
But, we are talking about women here. Not girls.
It doesn’t take more than a couple of terrible experiences with irresponsible men for women to put a value on this attribute.
Do you show up at the time you said you were going to show up?
Do you keep your words or are you constantly changing your words?
Is your life in order or is it total chaos?
Women with values (which are the type of women you want in your life anyway) actually care about these things.
Not only should you become more responsible because that is what women look for, but you should also start exercising more self-responsibility for your own well-being.
When you take control of your life by being more responsible, you will feel happier and more confident, and that will be reflected in how you show up in the world.
Women are looking for a man with a strong set of beliefs
What do you believe in?
What are you willing to stand up for?
A man with a strong set of beliefs is incredibly attractive to both men and women.
He has clearly defined what he is or isn’t willing to put up with.
And if he decides he’s going to do something, he knows he’s going to make it happen because that is who he is.
He does not lose sleep over the opinion of sheep because he is self-assured.
What matters most to him is his own opinion about himself over others.
As long as he knows he is on the right path, he could care less about what others think of him.
So, what are your beliefs?
Women are looking for a grounded man
They want a man who can weather the storm.
If your energy is all over the place and you are constantly influenced by other’s opinion, then it is going to be hard for a woman to take you seriously.
You should be grounded in your own energy.
For example, what others say you should or should not do would have no effect on you if you are a grounded man.
You would simply smile and ignore because you know exactly what you want, and they don’t see the vision and the end goal that you are able to so clearly see.
You are grounded on your own path. You are not a ship drifting aimlessly in the sea of mediocrity.
So, ask yourself this question.
How often do you let others opinion so easily influence your life choices?
This does not mean you are a stubborn prick that refuses to change his opinion at all cost.
But, do you have a clear sense of what you want in life and how you want to live your life?
Because that is what a woman looks for.
Be the man with a crystal clear sense of direction and purpose.
Women are looking for a playful man
Playfulness communicates youthfulness, vitality, and your ability to not take life too seriously.
While women want a man who is able to express himself in a mature and genuine way, they also want someone who can help her feel relief from the pressure of life.
And there is no better way to accomplish this than adding a little sparkle of playfulness into your personality.
It is easy to fall into that trap of being too serious as you get older and the stress of life takes its toll on you.
Your ability to keep that playfulness intact communicates to her you have strong emotional resilience.
How often do you laugh throughout the day, if at all?
Is your conversation with women always too heavy and too serious?
Ponder on these questions to gauge if you are giving off that heavy and negative energy as opposed to a light and playful energy.
Women are looking for a fit man
Does this mean women will be more attracted to you if you are a muscular, steroid freak?
The first and foremost reason why it is important to be fit is that it shows you are healthy to women.
Another reason why it is important for you to be fit is that it communicates to women that you value yourself.
Your mind and body are interrelated.
A healthy body usually corresponds with a healthy mind.
On top of that, it shows you are a man who has enough discipline to follow through with what you set out to achieve.
These are all qualities that women value and look for in men.
Once again, there is no reason for you to become obsessed with growing big muscle.
In fact, the evidence is all around you.
When you are going about your day, you see plenty of guys who are not exactly muscular (but still fit) walking around with gorgeous women.
If you look at the general population (especially in North America), there really is not that much competition.
You are already above your competition if you are not overweight.
Any extra muscle you add to your body is just a bonus.
So, as long as you are not overweight and you are lean enough to see your jaws, you can rest assured in knowing your fitness is optimized.
Women are looking for a passionate man
Passion is the oxygen of the soul.
A person without a passion would be equivalent to a person without a soul.
When a man is passionate and he is driven by his purpose, women can sense that.
You walk differently. You talk differently. And you look into people’s eyes differently.
On top of that, the natural side effect of living your life with passion is increased sexual energy that women can sense from you.
She will be fantasizing about how you are in bed as she watches you passionately engage in your favorite activity…
If you are not sure where your passion lies, these are some of the questions you can ask yourself.
What do I think about most often?
What activity makes me completely forget about time?
What do I excel in? (People are often passionate about what they are good at)
Women are looking for a man who can arouse her emotion
I want to congratulate you for making it this far.
As we had discussed earlier, this is by far the most important quality that women look for in a man (although they may not be “consciously” aware of it).
So, why is your ability to arouse her emotion form the foundation of attraction?
This really is not a difficult question to answer if you take a moment to think about why women (and men) do what they do.
Why do women eat chocolate and ice cream when they are stressed out? Because they want to “feel” good.
Why do women (and men) watch movies and listen to music? Because they want to “feel” different ranges of emotion.
Why do some women stay in an abusive relationship? Because they are addicted to that extreme negative emotion (Just like how people get addicted to drugs that ruin their life and can’t stop).
Any and everything we do is because we want to “feel” a certain way.
Even all of the traits we listed so far in this article, they are attractive to women because they arouse emotions in them when men display these characteristics.
And when we say someone has got “game” with girls, it really means nothing more than he has the ability to express himself in a way that induces these different emotions in a woman.
This is why, to be an attractive man, it is not enough to just possess attractive traits.
You need to cultivate that ability to communicate and present your attractive characteristics to a woman in a way it arouses her emotion (in a positive way that makes her desire you).
Let’s say someone is born with a naturally gifted tone and voice, and wants to be a singer.
Even if he is incredibly gifted with a raw talent, if he does not practice to express his voice fully, he will never be able to reach his potential to capture people’s heart.
Being attractive to a woman works much the same way.
She is looking for that man who can take her on a ride of an emotional rollercoaster.
Be her comedy, action, drama, romance, action, mystery, and adult movie.
Once you become the primary source of all of her different emotions, she won’t be looking for another man to replace you.
Anyway, I hope this article helped you get a clearer sense of what women look for in a man.
I was Introduced to the world of seduction after being a virgin for the first 26 years of life and being dumped by my first girlfriend at the age of 28. The dating world wasn't so kind to a 28-year-old Asian man who barely had any experience with girls. But, I eventually cracked the "code" and began "attracting" two to three new girls a week on average when I was actively going out. I'm not mentioning that to impress you but to impress upon you that you can take your dating life to the next level... IF you are equipped with the right knowledge and a desire to take massive action.
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