Are you doomed if you are not an attractive dude..?
I came across this video on Youtube yesterday.
The guy shared his experience about growing up as an ugly dude his whole life… and always feeling like he is inferior to others.
I can totally empathize with him and know exactly where he’s coming from.
It is NOT easy when you’ve been told you are ugly your whole life… and your friends and other people successfully convinced you into believing you don’t deserve to feel good about yourself.
There really is only one option.
And that is to say a big F-You to those people… and decide for yourself who you are going to become.
It was clear from his video he was putting way too much focus on things that he CAN’T change.
I saw so much potential and things he could improve to make himself more attractive.
Yet, he was putting most – if not all – of his focus on things that were out of his control.
Remember… whatever you focus on grows larger and larger in your mind.
And soon… it will completely consume your entire mind and make you believe that’s the only thing that matters for girls to find you attractive.
I did the same thing and lived with a victim mentality for 26 years of my life.
I blamed my face
I blamed my body
I blamed my accent
And that’s exactly how I ended up as a dude who’s never even “hugged” a girl at the age of 26 (Yep.. no BS).
When I finally decided to make that mental shift and solely focus on things that I CAN change…
That is only when my life turned 180 degrees.
So, let’s talk about some practical things you can do to change your life for the better.
Get a better haircut
Seriously… this is the fastest way to improve your looks.
It’s amazing to see how this is such a common sense but guys are still too lazy to get a good haircut.
But it’s not a surprise either because we are just so resistant to change by nature.
You may feel like you are trying so hard to impress others.
Or maybe you are afraid your friends will make fun of you for your new haircut.
None of that shit matters.
You simply have to “force” yourself to change – no matter how uncomfortable it may feel – because what you have been doing so far clearly hasn’t been working out for you.
Look up some hairstyles that are suited for your face shape.
Or even ask a barber for a recommendation… although I know how difficult this can be for guys with social anxiety… but you simply need to step the fuck out of your comfort zone.
Learn how to talk attractively
This is also something you can improve to dramatically change others’ perception of you.
If girls get bored of you while you are talking then you can practice speaking with a more dynamic tone.
You can also develop a fuller voice over time by learning to use your diaphragm better when you speak.
If you have a tendency to speak fast then you can also practice speaking slower.
Fix your posture
Your posture also has a big impact on how others perceive you.
You ever see a person slouching extremely forward while his head is all the way out in the front..?
Not exactly an attractive look… is it?
Keep that body straight.
It is important to note, however, that you stay relaxed while you are maintaining a good posture.
A good posture while walking like you have a stick up your ass is practically useless.
Adopt a posture that exudes masculine confidence while staying relaxed.
Join improv class to improve your sense of humor
This is a great way to improve your sense of humor and really learn to be quick on your feet.
By learning how to turn off your brain and reach that “free-flow” state, you will become a person who is much more fun to talk to.
It will also force you to step out of your comfort zone which in turn will sky-rocket your confidence.
Joining a local toastmaster is another great way to improve your communication skill.
Basically… whatever activity that forces you to step out of your little bubble and improve your communication skill… will always have a positive influence on your game.
Do something that feels uncomfortable on a weekly basis
This doesn’t have to be something that makes you feel “extremely” uncomfortable.
Just simply whatever that arouses a feeling of discomfort.
It can be as simple as greeting a stranger with a smile.
What matters most is you train yourself to be okay with being uncomfortable on a consistent basis.
Finally… I will end this article by encouraging you to ask yourself this one question.
Ask yourself this… how important is it for you to get your dating life handled?
Is it something that is going to affect the quality of your life for the rest of your life?
For me, the answer was a clear yes.
So there was only one option left once I answered that question.
It was either get better at this shit or die trying.
Anytime things got tough and I lost motivation to continue… I just asked that same question to myself again.
I hope you too can make that mental shift if you are going through the same battle in your head.
Anyway, that’s it for today.
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Till next time.