Why do you need a list of the qualities you must look out for in your future wife?
Isn’t love enough to make things work?
And my answer is clear on that.
No, it isn’t enough.
You absolutely do not want to approach marriage the same way you approach your dating life.
When you marry a woman, you are going to be spending most of your time with her, and she will also become the mother of your kids if you do decide to have kids.
Her personality and her habits are going to have a powerful effect on how your marriage is going to turn out.
She has the power to make you feel like you are walking on clouds, and she also has the power to turn your life into a living hell.
So, are you ready to hear the truth?
These are the 12 qualities you must assess before you put a ring on your future wife’s finger.
You want to observe how a woman manages her stress when you are trying to decide if she is wife material.
It is very easy for her to put on a mask when she is not spending every second of her life with you.
But the same woman who appears so caring and affectionate may very well turn into a complete maniac when she is stressed out.
And guess what?
When you marry her, you are going to have to endure the worst side of her.
And does it really matter if she is caring and loving on her good days if she tries to run you over in her car on her bad days?
So, don’t judge if a woman is wife material solely based on her positive qualities.
In fact, pay more attention to how low she is willing to dip under extreme stress.
That will give you a better idea as to if your marriage is going to work out or not.
How she talks about other people says a lot about what is going on inside her head.
Is she always critical of what others do?
Does she usually make negative remarks about other people instead of trying to be more understanding?
Well, there is a good chance she is going to speak to you exactly the same way in the future once she becomes your wife.
Don’t be fooled by all of the sweet words she whispers into your ears right now.
Once she becomes more comfortable with you, you will become her primary target.
You should also be mindful of the type of influence your wife is going to have on your kids if you are planning on having kids with her.
How would your kids turn out if they grow up under a mother with such a negative attitude?
When you are trying to assess someone, you always want to look at their behaviors rather than listening to what they say.
Anyone can say anything.
Words really do not mean much unless they are backed up by actions.
Does she say she will show up at a certain time, but she is always late? Then, it means she is not reliable no matter how much she tries to tell you otherwise.
Does she preach unconditional love and trust in a relationship, but she gets drunk at 3 in the morning with one of her guy friends? Then, you probably want to think twice before putting a ring on her finger.
No matter how good you believe you are at reading people, it is impossible to judge a person’s entire character in a short period of time.
It takes time to observe how a person acts in different situations, and that is precisely why you do not want to rush into marriage.
You become like the friends you spend most of your time with.
Jim Rohn once said, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
Is that always true? No, not necessarily.
But, it is most definitely true that the people you surround yourself with, will likely have a large influence on shaping your thoughts and your view of the world.
I noticed this effect in my life as well.
When I used to hang out with friends who mostly stuck to themselves, and played video games all day, I was not attracting any woman into my life.
Part of the reason was that I wasn’t actively going out to meet women, but another part was that I talked and acted like the friends I hung out with.
I finally decided to get out of my comfort zone by pushing myself to make new friends who are doing well with women and with their lives.
Once I surrounded myself with the right people, I absorbed their energy and personality through osmosis, and I ended up getting the type of results they were getting in their lives and with women.
So, pay attention to the friends she hangs out with, they will play a bigger role in the health of your relationship than you may realize.
Do you want your wife to help you with cleaning up the house on a regular basis?
Do you want your kids to grow up with a messy mother, who does not care about keeping her surroundings tidy?
I doubt you do.
And this is one of those habits that is incredibly hard for someone to change because it has become an ingrained habit over decades.
If you put your best effort into keeping your place clean, but she could care less about all the dusts that are accumulating in your room, then you are going to feel resentment.
It may be all fun and games when you guys are riding that momentum of initial sparks of love, but when the clouds part, and you get back to reality, you may wonder what you have done by getting into marriage with this woman.
How you do one thing is often how you do everything.
And the same idea applies when it comes to taking care of another person (or an animal).
Is she caring and compassionate toward her pet, or other babies)?
If she has a dog, does she take care of her by routinely grooming her and showering her?
Does she take her dog out for a walk on a regular basis, or does she let her run around the house urinating and defecating everywhere?
Is she affectionate toward her dog, or is she distant after that initial excitement of bringing a puppy home weaned off?
Even worse, does she only care about her own hygiene and appearance, but ignore everything else around her that needs her love and care.
Ask yourself if these are the qualities you would want in the mother of your kids.
And the answer becomes crystal clear.
How she treats her dog is likely how she is going to treat her own kids.
Is she usually positive or negative?
What do most successful people say to those who seek their advice?
Most of them talk about the importance of eliminating negativity from your life, whether it be the news you watch or the people you spend your time with.
Your wife is the person you are going to be spending most of your time with.
If she is constantly negative and pessimistic, she can quickly turn your life into a living hell.
Many men rationalize their girlfriend’s (or wife’s) negative attitude by telling themselves that she also has a lot of positive qualities.
And I am sure that is true. Even the worst criminal in the history of mankind possesses some redeeming qualities about him or herself.
But, does that mean you should condone what he or she has done? No.
The same is true when you are looking for a partner you will hopefully spend the rest of your life with.
Having a generally negative attitude toward people and life is a big deal-breaker that you should not ignore.
If you are the type that values spontaneity and adventures, while she is the type that prefers stability and safety, then you guys are going to clash frequently.
She is not going to understand why you want to take a risk and start a business when you already have a stable job that is paying the bills.
She is going to nag at you for spending money on those dirt bikes, and she will accuse you of acting like a little immature boy.
Marriage is already as difficult as it is, even if you somehow lucked out with your ideal partner.
When you stack unnecessary fights and arguments on top of one another, it is very unlikely you are going to be able to sustain your marriage.
How many times have you heard that opposites attract?
That may be true in some cases when it comes to casual dating, but the research consistently shows opposites cause more trouble than good when it comes to a sustaining a long, healthy relationship.
During the marriage, two people of different backgrounds and ideas come together to live in harmony for years to come.
This is not an easy task.
Maybe, she likes to clean her place twice a week, but you prefer to clean yours once a week.
Maybe, she wants to go out for romantic dinner every week on Saturday, but you prefer to stay home and watch movies.
These can be things that are negotiable or non-negotiable depending on who you are.
So, it is important for you to clearly define your “non-negotiables”.
And if your non-negotiables turn out to be her non-negotiables as well, you guys probably want to reconsider marriage.
You need to realize it is often a futile attempt to try to change someone.
I don’t think I need to emphasize why this is important.
Financial stress is one of the major reasons why marriages don’t last.
Yes, it is true money doesn’t buy happiness, but a “lack” of it is almost guaranteed to make the quality of your life suffer.
You want to pay attention to where she spends her money.
Does she spend most of her income on buying things that do not have much use other than making her look pretty?
Does she invest any of her money on self-education, such as going to the seminars and buying books (This would fall into the category of “good habit” by the way)?
Does she have a history of gambling addiction?
If she is not able to fix these issues prior to marriage, then it would be foolish for you to taking things any further with her.
If she does not take care of her health, then she is not wife material.
There are many reasons why you must require your wife to be health-conscious.
-If she lets herself go, you are going to lose sexual attraction toward her, and there will be no more sparks in your marriage.
-You want to live a long, healthy life with your spouse. You don’t want her to leave you at an early age due to conditions that could have been prevented by taking care of her health.
-Remember how we talked about how you become like the person you spend a lot of your time with? Your own health is likely to get affected by living with a woman who disregards her health.
-She is going to pass her unhealthy habit onto her kids as well. And when kids grow up with unhealthy habits, these habits are most likely going to haunt them for the rest of their lives.
A woman needs to have a passion.
If she does not have anything she is passionate about and her entire life revolves around you and her kids, then she is going to be extremely toxic to people around her.
What do you do when you have nothing going for yourself?
You start obsessing over what others do.
You become needy and hyper-sensitive to how people treat you.
And your emotions fluctuate as if you are on a rollercoaster ride.
These are all qualities you do not want in your wife.
While a woman naturally tends to be a little more caring and compassionate than a man on average, she still needs to have her own life apart from her family and kids.
Without it, it is unlikely she is going to be emotionally healthy enough to respect you and your kid’s space.
She is going to turn into an obsessive wife and a mother, who suffocates everyone that is around her.
So there it is!
The 12 qualities you must look out for in a woman before consider putting a ring on her finger.
I was Introduced to the world of seduction after being a virgin for the first 26 years of life and being dumped by my first girlfriend at the age of 28. The dating world wasn't so kind to a 28-year-old Asian man who barely had any experience with girls. But, I eventually cracked the "code" and began "attracting" two to three new girls a week on average when I was actively going out. I'm not mentioning that to impress you but to impress upon you that you can take your dating life to the next level... IF you are equipped with the right knowledge and a desire to take massive action.
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