In this article, you will find out if you should kiss a girl on the first date.
This is the area I struggled massively when I started going on a lot of dates.
It isn’t so easy making that first move when you’ve barely interacted with girls for the first 26 years of life, and your head is filled with all these limiting beliefs when it comes to girls.
If you are reading this article, you may be experiencing that same nasty butterfly in your stomach I had experienced when I first started going on a date.
This may sound familiar…
You are on a date and you are looking for all the signs that a girl gives you, to see if it’s the right time to make a move, or if you should hold back.
If you are reading this article, I’m sure you are familiar with all the tips about making a move when the girl is looking at your lips or when she’s holding eye contact etc…
While those can all be useful tips, that is not exactly what I want to focus on in this article.
Before we talk about whether you should go in for that kiss on the first date, I really have to touch on this point.
For a lot of girls, there’s nothing less attractive than a guy who is full of hesitation.
Sure. There can be exceptions where if the girl really likes you then she may think it’s cute.
And I’ve also noticed a lot of Asian girls who were raised in Asian countries tend to be a lot more forgiving for a personality flaw like that (If you can call it a personality flaw…)
But generally speaking, being hesitant in your action and what you say is really bad when you are interacting with girls.
Because girls want guys who have strong leadership… a guy that they can rely on.
And if you really think about it, what is leadership?
Are leaders the ones who always make the right decision every time?
Most successful leaders in history have made a lot of bad calls.
But what really defines a good leader is the fact they are able to take responsibility for the decision they make.
And once they decide where the ship is going, they don’t look back and hesitate.
They go in with the full force. And if it turns out to be an erroneous decision, they simply extract lessons from their mistake and keep moving forward without dwelling over their mistake.
Say you are a fitness instructor at a gym.
Imagine if you told your students to do twenty push-ups like this…
“Hey, guys… do you think it would be a good idea to do twenty push-ups today…? Or maybe we should do twenty sit-ups instead…?”
Do you think anyone in your class would take you seriously?
The answer is hell eff’ing no.
You simply tell them, “Hey, 20 push-ups for the next 30 seconds and we’ll move onto doing sit-ups afterward! Let’s go!”
Girls… and just people, in general, want to be led.
We don’t like to think.
We just want someone to tell us what to do and just follow their instruction and hope they’ll take us to where we want to go.
But we certainly don’t want to be led by someone who sounds like he has no freaking clue what he’s talking about.
And this is why it is so important to learn to speak and act with conviction when you are making a move on the girl.
Because when she senses even a little bit of hesitation from you, she will sense you have a weak reality that she can’t rely on.
And ideally, I want you to just become that man with a strong sense of reality and certainty, and that certainty oozes out of you as a by-product of your inner belief.
But I’ll be honest, that takes time to develop.
The good news is you can act as if… for the time being.
Until you can actually become that strong mo-fo inside, you can act as if you are “that” guy in front of a girl.
And with a bit of practice, she won’t know you are a little wimpy boy at least for the first few times she hangs out with you.
So, you always want to be working on your inner-self but also on your outer behavior at the same time.
Let’s now talk about how this all ties back into kissing on the first date.
This advice is specifically for you if you do not have too much experience with girls and you tend to over-think things.
Until you get over that mental hurdle of going for the kiss, I want you to make it a “rule” to go for that kiss on the first date every single time.
Think of it this way.
What is your default state if you are inexperienced and you are not used to making a move when you are with a girl?
Your default state is to resort into not doing anything because that’s what makes you feel most comfortable.
When you have a fear of going for the kiss… or asking a girl out… or taking a girl back home.
Your brain will come up with all sorts of excuses on why you shouldn’t do it.
So, unless you set a rule for yourself to do it every single time, you most likely won’t do it.
It’s like going to the gym.
If you always wait for your body to feel ready, then you will end up going like once a month.
You have to make it a routine and a rule to go for it every single time.
Especially when you have that fear of making that move.
Your priority right now is not to become this guy who’s amazing at reading signals that the girl gives you.
Your priority is to get over that fear and the mental hurdle of making a move on the girl.
Because there are going to be many instances where things are sort of grey and it will be difficult for you to know for sure whether she’s into you or not.
And you will just have to make that move to find out.
If you don’t train yourself to shut your brain off and go for it, you are going to be missing out on a lot of opportunities.
I know a big fear for you may be, “Oh, but what if I get rejected?
“What if she doesn’t want to kiss me back and I embarrass yourself?”
The solution is to go in for the kiss fully assuming that she may very well reject you.
Then, it really is not a surprise for you when you are rejected for the kiss.
You had already made up in your mind that you are going to be okay with either one of those outcomes.
As a guy, it is on you to always progress that interaction to the next level.
But at the same time, you should also develop that mindset to completely detach yourself from the end result.
And if you do get rejected, just know in the back of your head that there are millions of girls out there.
On a side note, this is also why I’m all for guys learning cold approach – which is approaching girls that you don’t know on the street, coffee shop, or at the club – especially if you are not a stereotypically physically attractive dude.
There are a lot of things I completely dislike when it comes to a typical pick-up artist stuff because that toxic mentality is way too rampant in the pick-up artist community.
But I do believe it is great to have that ability to cold approach a girl.
Knowing that you have the ability to approach girls who do not know you.
And knowing that have a realistic chance of making something happen really allows you to have that abundant mindset.
It will make you less needy for that one specific girl and allow you to get over girls much faster when they reject you.
Because it’s much easier to keep that abundant mindset when you know you have the ability to approach girls anywhere.
I’m not saying you should learn how to do a cold approach so you can just sleep with a ton of girls.
The point I want to make is that it can really help with you not turn into that desperate and needy dude who are repelling to girls.
Because trust me, it’s really freaking easy to become desperate when you are only talking to that one girl from your school or work.
And so many guys love to talk smack about guys who do cold approach and say they are creepy and it’s weird.
But those are the same guys who are trying to sleep with their best friend’s girlfriend behind their back…
Or begging for their ex-girlfriend to stay with them while she’s out their blowing other dudes.
Having more option in your life allows you to not fall into that trap of sabotaging your friendship or creeping out girls at work just so you can fulfill your sexual desire.
Because why would you ever take that risk when there are millions of girls you can talk to once you step out of your house?
Anyway, we went slightly off tangent here but let me just wrap up this article with this last point.
But let me just point out once again that this advice is mostly for guys who are still not too experienced with girls and suffering from that mental hurdle.
With that being said…
You are going to be missing out on a lot more opportunities with girls by not making that move on a first date, as opposed to just going for it anyway even if there’s no obvious sign.
When she doesn’t want to kiss you back, simply act like it’s not a big deal.
Just be like, “Too fast… too fast. Naughty boy” while smacking your own lips (Or whatever you want to do to show that it’s not a big deal…)
I know many dating coaches advise you to pretend as if nothing happened and talk about something else.
But I’m not a big fan of that advice.
When she just rejected you for a kiss then there’s that slight tension in the air… and you pretending as if nothing happened will just make it more uncomfortable for both of you in many cases.
Just simply make a short playful remark and carry on with a conversation like it’s not a big deal.
This can actually make you stand out even more in her eyes because not many guys are able to stay composed after they were denied from that first kiss.
All in all, just go for that kiss on the first date and stop looking for signs.
You can save that for later when you have a little more experience.
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