Ignore her and she will chase.
Is there any truth to this statement or is it all just a load of bollocks?
As with anything else in life, the truth lies somewhere in the middle and you are soon going to discover that truth in this article if you continue reading.
Why ignoring her may not work to attract her
You may have tried ignoring a girl you like, hoping she would blast your phone with text messages soon after.
But, the days go by, and you still do not hear anything back from her, only to find out she started going out with your friend, Tyrone.
So where exactly did you mess up?
There can be a myriad of reasons for why “ignore her to attract” tactic may not work.
But “this” is by far one of the most common reasons why guys fail miserably with this approach.
And that is…
The girl simply is not that into you.
She is not emotionally invested in you, whatsoever. So, your little “ignore tactic” is not going to have much emotional impact on her, if at all.
Let’s say there is this not-so-attractive girl who was really into you. She texts you all day and is always around you when you see her.
You find her mildly annoying but you also treat her nicely enough because you don’t mind a little bit of validation you get from her.
You are essentially okay with her chasing you and showing affection privately, as long as she doesn’t pull off something crazy, like going around telling people you guys are dating.
One day, she reads a dating guide on the internet that instructs her to go “no contact” with a guy that does not reciprocate her feeling.
So, she decides to stop messaging you altogether for the next couple of days.
Now, how would you feel in such a scenario?
Do you think you would start developing an attraction that you never had toward her because her “ignore tactic” made you realize just how much she meant to you?
Most likely not.
You may feel a slight bit of void from losing validation you were getting from her.
You will probably think about her a little more (and this is why ignoring another person is so powerful IF that person has a sufficient enough interest in you which we will discuss later).
But that is about it.
So why is that?
It is because you never had much interest in her, to begin with. She was never emotionally relevant to you to the point you would be craving for her attention back if she were to start ignoring you.
And that is precisely the mistake a lot of guys make.
They start ignoring girls who were never really into them in the first place.
“Hey, I talked to this girl for 15 minutes and she is not showing too much interest. Should I start ignoring her to get her back?”
If you have enough common sense, you would realize how ridiculous that sounds. But that is exactly what a lot of guys are doing.
So, let’s now talk about when ignoring her actually CAN work to re-ignore her attraction.
When Ignoring works to attract her
You may have guessed it by now.
Ignoring a girl works extremely well when she has somewhat of an interest in you but she is “on the fence”.
Maybe you and the girl have been talking for a while and she knows you are a cool dude but she is not sure if she likes you “enough” to do anything with you.
The more she is emotionally invested in you, the more she is going to feel that void in the absence of your presence.
That is why ignoring your ex-girlfriend can be such a powerful tool since you and your ex most likely spent a lot of time together. And she feels strong emotional attachment toward you compared to random girls you meet (we will delve deeper into this in the next section).
So, the key really is to create enough interest in her before you even think about taking attention away from her.
Before we continue, I do want to emphasize this one point, however.
I know there are a lot of cynics out there when it comes to studying about seduction and persuasion.
They often say something along the lines of, “Just stay on your purpose and focus on yourself and women will come. There is no reason to play games with women!”
And here is the problem I have with it.
Almost all men, whose purpose is way grander (presidents, billionaires, and influencers) than the purpose of these dating coaches who spew out “be on your purpose”, are the masters of persuasion.
Most, who are successful in life, know exactly what they are doing (and what the other person is doing) when they are in situations where they are required to exert influence.
In fact, the reason why they were able to even climb up the ladder in the first place was that they were the master influencer and a persuader.
So, I want you to view studying of seduction (and persuasion and influence) as a way to become more aware of life and different social situations in general (Instead of viewing it as a way to just pick up girls).
And if you prefer not to use any of these psychological triggers because you think it’s manipulative, I can respect that. Everyone has their own values and it is no man’s right to impose their values onto others.
But if you are not at least aware of how the human mind operates, then you will always be at the effect of other’s influence.
You can trust me on that.
So, you would be doing yourself a service by learning about persuasion whether you decide to use them for yourself or not.
Ignore your ex and she will chase you
I begged her to stay.
After more than one hour of begging and pleading, what did I get in return?
“Sorry, I just don’t feel the same way about you. I don’t love you anymore.
That is when I said to myself, “Ok, I’m done with this BS”.
I already sacrificed my pride and dignity as a man to dearly hold onto her. I did NOT want to hit any more rock bottom.
I looked straight into her eyes and told her, “If that is how you really feel, then I guess there is nothing I can do about it. I’ll sleep on the couch and you can sleep on the bed tonight. You can move out whenever you want to when you wake up tomorrow. Good night.”
Once I finished my sentence, I left the room with no hesitation without waiting for her response.
Fast forward twenty minutes, I am laying on my couch getting ready to fall asleep.
I hear the door open and my ex comes out and says to me, “You can sleep with me on the bed if you want to.”
Needless to say, I made a very rough love to her that night with mixed emotion.
So, why did she suddenly have a change of heart only when I decided to ignore her and let her go?
She thought she already had all of me. She thought she had my soul.
There was absolutely nothing interesting or attractive about me at that point.
I was like the movie she’s watched hundreds of times with the ending she could picture with her eyes closed.
But, it was different when my actions and words changed all of a sudden.
It was something that she never would have expected me to do.
And with unexpected behavior comes unexpected emotion.
My sudden “takeaway” of attention created that gap in her mind that had to be filled.
And she couldn’t help but “beg” for my attention back once I stopped begging for her attention.
And this is why any form of “no contact” or “ignore her to get her back” can be extremely effective.
If you have been in a relationship with a girl for any prolonged time, you already occupy a significant portion of her mind.
When you suddenly ignore her and disappear from her life altogether, she is likely going to feel a surge of emotion that is almost unbearable for her to cope.
And the only way she can possibly feel normal is to reclaim your attention.
So, how long should you ignore your ex if you want to get her back?
The answer is…
It may not be the answer you want to hear but I’ve got to keep it real with you.
While ignoring her and deleting her from your life may certainly be one of the best ways to get her back, I do not recommend you use it as a tactic to win her back.
You guys may very well have reached a point in a relationship where she is more than happy to move on from you (and you should be as well if that is how she feels). And there may be nothing you can do to salvage your broken relationship at this point.
So, fully assume she is not going to contact you back once you ignore her.
Carry on with your life and forget about her by occupying your mind with new and exciting activities you’ve always wanted to do when you were single.
There is a VERY good chance she’s going to contact you but even if she doesn’t, it is not a big deal.
You already assumed that is a possibility. You have already moved on and you are just living your life. You went no contact with her to live your life as opposed to using it as a tactic to get her back.
So, whatever happens, it is still a win for you.
Do NOT try to call her multiple times. Do not try to tell her how much you really care for her by expressing your genuine feeling.
It is just going to cement in her mind that you are a desperate loser.
Realize that ignoring her is the best way to get her back. And if it still doesn’t work out after that, then it was never meant to work out in the first place.
Now, onto my favorite topic…
Ignore her and do this to attract her when she ignores you
So, “what” should you do when a girl ignores you?
The psychological trigger I am about to reveal works extremely well both for girls who are somewhat into you or even for a girl you may be dating right now.
Anyway, you should know by now that you definitely do not want to blast her phone or confess your love when she is showing lack of interest.
The reason why she lacks interest in the first place is that she views you as someone that doesn’t really deserve her attention and time.
If you are already perceived as a low-value man in her eyes, then giving her even more attention will only further bring down your value.
My advice is to stop giving her attention.
Talk to other girls (it is even better if she sees you having a blast with other girls).
Post a picture of you having an awesome time (without looking like a try hard) with your friends and other girls.
What do these accomplish?
When you were desperately clinging onto her, she likely perceived you as a loser without many options.
She may have even viewed you as an involuntary celibate whose only option is to sit in his room alone and jerk off to her picture if she were to reject you.
Either way, your value was rock bottom in her eyes.
But, when she can see your life is just as awesome without her, your status will be elevated in her eyes.
All of a sudden, you are not this needy dude who fantasizes about being with her throughout the day. You are just a cool dude who enjoys living his life.
But, this alone is often not enough to get her to start chasing you.
As we have talked about earlier, she needs to have sufficient interest in you in the first place for her to feel that desire to chase.
But, it will open up a door for you to re-establish the dynamic of your relationship with her.
You will be able to interact with her coming from a much higher place than previously.
Once again, any and everything you do will be much more effective when you do them without expecting any reactions in return.
When you talk to those hot girls around her, don’t do it because you are seeking certain reaction out of her.
Do it because you value yourself enough to not chase a girl who is not interested in you.
When ignoring her can actually make her despise you
If the girl is already into you and she’s showing a lot of affection, then you may want to go easy on ignoring her.
As with any emotional buttons you push, if you do too much of anything, it will become old and boring real quick.
And the same goes for ignoring a girl.
If the girl likes you, she may start chasing even harder when you start ignoring her.
And it will be that way up to a certain point.
But, there will come a point she will eventually lose interest in you when you fail to reciprocate her feeling.
As much as it is in our nature to desire things that we can’t fully have, we also desire to be loved and cared.
When the balance shifts too much toward one side, it is going to come with a side effect.
And that is usually her leaving you for another guy who can fulfill all of her emotional needs.
This is also the reason why the standard advice of “Just be yourself” falls short.
Being yourself is awesome once you become socially aware and understand different nuances of human interaction.
But, a lot of guys who start learning about seduction and dating come from a very low place (as I once was) to a point it is even difficult for them to maintain eye contact when talking to others.
So, if you are oblivious to how the game is played (and if it doesn’t come naturally to you either), then you will be on the losing end hundred percent of the time.
Stay open-minded and don’t be afraid to try different things when you are interacting with others.
Do not be so fixated with one way of doing things because of your pre-existing bias or because our society has successfully brainwashed you into believing there is just one correct way.
Go ahead and ignore her… or tell her you love her…
And confirm the truth for yourself.