Should I Directly Ask A Girl Out?

Should you be direct with a girl when you ask her out, or is it better to be a little more subtle?

This totally on the following points we will soon discuss in this article.

Her level of interest

Whether you should ask a girl out really depends on her level of interest.

If she is into you 

If the girl is into you, there is no reason to over-complicate things.

You will do fine as long as you have enough courage to ask her out.

Whether you are direct or indirect with your intention will have a minimal difference in most cases (unless you carry yourself like a complete awkward loser in front of her).

When the girl has a high level of interest, just go ahead and take your shot without over-thinking.

But, you may be wondering how you can tell if a girl has a high level of interest?

There are a couple of things you will readily observe from a girl who is into you.

  1. She will frequently laugh at what you say even if you are not exactly funny.
  2. She will pay attention when you talk.
  3. She will ask questions and take an interest in getting to know you.
  4. Her body (pay attention to where her feet are pointing) will face toward you when she talks to you.

When you see a couple of these signs, it is not a bad idea to make a decisive move (aka ask her out) instead of falling into the trap of paralysis by analysis.

If she is not that into you 

It is a slightly different story if a girl is not that into you.

When she is not that interested in you, there is a chance you will put too much pressure on her by being too direct with your intention.

It is no different than a salesman trying to sell his product when a potential customer isn’t yet fully convinced by his sales pitch.

Such an act will only serve to push the customer away.

For this reason, it is always best to ensure the girl is into you before you ask her out to minimize your chance of hearing “no” from the girl.

Let me just make it clear why you want to avoid hearing “no” from the girl.

It is not so you can preserve your ego and feel less down about yourself.

In fact, that is a necessary part of finding your dream girl.

Rather, it is because you want to prevent the ‘commitment and consistency bias’.

To put it simply, this bias refers to our tendency to stick with our initial decision.

This means if a girl rejects you initially, then she is more likely to continue to reject your requests in the future.

And this is exactly why you want to minimize the number of times you hear no’s from the girl.

So, what then is the best way to get a girl into you before you ask her out?

This probably contradicts what a lot of dating coaches will tell you, but the quality of your interaction matters a lot more than the amount of time you spend with the girl.

Why do we frequently see girls cheating on their long term boyfriend (who they’ve dated for years) for a man they’ve only known for a couple of hours (at a club or when they are on a vacation)?

It is because the new guy was able to arouse a strong emotion in her that her boyfriend failed to arouse.

For this reason, it is important for you to arouse emotion in a girl when you are with her.

She has to feel something around you.

If you fail to do this, it is unlikely she is going to feel attraction to you.

Best way to ask her out?

So, let’s talk about some of the best ways to ask a girl out.

Many men, in this day and age, resort to asking a girl out over text because they are afraid of facing rejection in person.

But, that is about the worst mistake you can make if you want to really improve your odds with girls.

Not only does asking her out over text demonstrate a lack of confidence, but you are also making it a lot easier for her to say no when you ask her out over text (than if you were to ask her out in person).

Some men may argue that is not necessarily a bad thing since the girl who would say no over text is not into you, to begin with, so you would simply be saving time.

That is not completely wrong, but I don’t fully agree with it and here is why.

A woman’s emotion can drastically fluctuate on a day-to-day (or even on an hour-to-hour) basis.

Even if a girl is not ‘that’ into you at this moment, things can quickly change if you can get her out on a date with you.

But, you may have missed your opportunity to ask her out in person.

In such a case, the second-best thing to do is to ask her out over the phone.

You are able to change a girl’s emotion a lot more easily with your voice and words than your words alone.

Once again, this is important because it is not easy to influence a girl’s action without first changing her emotion, and you will have a much better success accomplishing that when you can get her on the phone.

The hardest part is getting over your fears.

Your brain will start to come up with all kinds of excuses on why it is a bad idea to ask her out in person or over the phone.

You are going to worry about embarrassing yourself in case you are rejected.

But, you need to ask if you want to play to win, or you care more about preserving your ego with nothing to show.

Is it always bad to be direct when asking a girl out?

I want to note that it is not necessarily a bad idea to be direct when you ask a girl out depending on your circumstance.

As we had discussed earlier, it is not the highest probability move if a girl is not quite into you yet.

That being said, I’d personally recommend sticking to asking a girl out directly (regardless of high or low interest from girls) if you are living a busy life.

When you are focused on your purpose (as you should be), it helps to simplify other aspects of your life, such as dating.

It simplifies everything when you are direct with a girl, and it allows you to focus on what is actually important (aka your purpose).

This is why I recommend you do a little cost and benefit analysis when it comes to how much time you are willing to spend in pursuing girls.

If you are focused on bettering yourself, then you do not want to be micro-analyzing every little aspect of your interaction with women.

All those times spent on thinking about women are the times you could’ve spent on developing yourself.

Anyway, I hope this article helped you clear your mind in regard to the best way to ask a girl out!

About the Author Jon Go

I was Introduced to the world of seduction after being a virgin for the first 26 years of life and being dumped by my first girlfriend at the age of 28. The dating world wasn't so kind to a 28-year-old Asian man who barely had any experience with girls. But, I eventually cracked the "code" and began "attracting" two to three new girls a week on average when I was actively going out. I'm not mentioning that to impress you but to impress upon you that you can take your dating life to the next level... IF you are equipped with the right knowledge and a desire to take massive action.