So what exactly is a
shit test and why do girls give a shit test?
Simply put, a shit test (also known as a
congruence test) any form of provocation that girls will throw at you to see if you are actually the man you portray yourself to be.
And this can be consciously or unconsciously done on a girl’s part.
A girl wants to know if you are a real
confident male, or if you are just putting on a fake mask of being confident.
I want to note, however, that a shit test is not as common as what most guys in the dating community make it out to be.
More often than not,
a girl is genuinely not interested in talking to you when she tells you to leave with a firm tone.
So, I don’t want you to make a mistake of thinking that it is a test you have to pass and keep on persisting when a girl clearly looks uncomfortable by your approach.
If a girl blows you off in a sincere way by telling you to get lost, there is probably a good chance that
she genuinely wants you to leave her alone.
That doesn’t mean your chance with her is forever lost.
It just means she’s not down to have
any further conversation with you at this moment of time.
I’ve seen way too many guys try to persist through girl’s rejection because they think girls are
throwing shit tests at them, and they end up getting kicked out of the club or get into unnecessary fights.
If a girl looks straight into your eyes and asks you to leave with a firm tone, then you better leave.
If, however, a girl doesn’t seem to show a lot of interest because she’s just a little shy, then
there is actually a way to turn that around. Situation when she is testing you and how to handle her shit tests
Let’s now talk about some specific situations where she may be testing you.
Passing a congruence test with a girl you just met
This following section is for passing the congruence test of a girl you just met.
She does not appear too friendly
This is especially common among attractive girls.
Attractive girls already get plenty of male validation in their lives, and they feel no desire to be nice to men that they barely know.
It is almost an automatic response on their part to act a little distant when they talk to a stranger for the first time.
So, it pays to be a little patient until a girl opens up.
If a girl is showing signs of genuine disinterest, such as facing away from you or asking you to leave, then it is not a test.
It simply means she wants you to leave.
On the other hand, if she is a little quiet, but she still pays attention when you are talking, then it may pay to persist a little longer to see if things start to get better.
She points out your flaws
She mentions your flaws and try to make you feel insecure.
She may subtly insult your height, your face, or the way you are dressed.
The fact she is even commenting about your flaws means there is
some level of interest.
The right way to respond in such a scenario is to demonstrate total indifference.
You can also exaggerate whatever she says and make it sound ridiculous.
For example, when she says you are a little short, you may respond to her saying that you fit in with kids in an elementary school, then you can ask her if she could walk you to school sometime.
When you exaggerate whatever she throws at you and make it sound ridiculous, you are showing what she says has no emotional impact on you.
This will immediately set you apart from most men she interacts with, and elevate your value in her eyes.
How to pass women’s tests in a relationship
This part is for passing a woman’s tests in a relationship.
She gives you a hard time for no reason
If she tries to give you a hard time for no good reason, you can view it as a test.
She may not be consciously doing this, but it is still important for you to respond to her in an appropriate manner.
If you let her
walk all over you, she is going to realize she can easily push boundaries without any repercussion, and you will essentially give her permission to disrespect you.
So, how should you respond?
You need to let a girl know you are not going to deal with her BS by either
ignoring her or letting her know you are willing to walk away if she refuses to fix her behavior.
Demonstrating your willingness to walk away is about the most powerful thing you can do to make a girl realize she can’t take you for granted.
She tries to make you jealous by showing interest in other men
This is also a common way that a girl tests you.
A lot of girls try to make you jealous because they want your attention, and they want to get a reaction out of you.
When you get angry at her under such a scenario, she will realize you are insecure.
So, how should you respond?
You can either ignore her by changing to a different topic, or you can directly let her know you do not particularly enjoy talking about another man in a conversation.
She disrespects you
She may disrespect you verbally or through her actions.
She puts you down in front of other people, or she always shows up late to a date.
Whichever way she disrespects you, it is important that you communicate your boundaries as soon as she shows a sign of disrespect.
The longer you wait, the harder it is going to be to set things straight.
The girl has to know you are or aren’t willing to tolerate in a relationship from early on.
Otherwise, it is going to be too late by the time you realize there is a problem in your relationship.
The fundamental of passing a shit test
The truth of the matter is, there really is no one best way to pass a shit test.
But, as long as you have this one principle in your mind, you will always be able to respond to
shit tests in an appropriate way that won’t ruin your chances.
The key really is to not be emotionally affected by what a girl says or does to you.
If you show any visible sign of being emotionally affected by what she says, then you will instantly let her know you are not as cool as how you made yourself out to be.
This doesn’t necessarily mean your chances are forever lost with her as soon as you show any signs of weakness.
But, the odds are stacked against you.
I also recommend you to keep your responses short.
In fact, it may be better to not even respond to her shit test in many cases.
You don’t want to ignore her in a way that makes you appear mad. You will just let her know you are emotionally unstable.
But, you can simply ignore her in a way that shows her words do not have any control over you.
For example, when a girl talks shit, you can simply smirk while looking directly into her eyes, then start talking about something else.
Once again, the key is to make a girl realize that nothing she throws at you has any emotional impact on you.
Some specific examples of shit tests
I want you to keep in mind that girls sometimes say these things without much thoughts (instead of deliberately saying them to ‘test’ you).
But, even then, how you respond to her can greatly influence the way she perceives you.
These are examples of some of the things a girl may say to test you.
You think you are so cool..? You think you are so funny..? Why are you wearing that shirt..? Why do you talk like that..?
Basically, anything that challenges who you are and your behaviors can be seen as a shit test.
These are some examples of a few specific ways you can respond to a girl’s shit tests.
Smirk with silence for a few seconds as if she’s your little sister throwing her usual tantrum. Simply say “Thanks” with a smile while looking into her eyes with a nice relaxed smile. You can just say “yeah” and change the topic. You can exaggerate whatever she says by making it sound ridiculous, so her shit test loses its power.
It’s important that you don’t flinch or
avoid eye contact when she gives you a shit test.
Your eyes are your “honest signal”.
If she sees you looking away or flinching, you are letting her know you were emotionally affected by her words.
So, it is crucial you maintain unwavering eye contact to show that nothing she says can faze you.
When and why you should leave her when she is giving you a shit test
The first reason is quite obvious.
If she is not ‘playfully’ giving you a shit test, and she actually genuinely wants you to leave, you are going to make her feel very uncomfortable by continuing to talk to her.
People will quickly notice you as ‘
that creepy guy’ who goes around making girls feel uncomfortable (if you frequently approach girls at the same place).
There is also a good chance you may even get banned from the club (or whatever places you talk to girls).
But, the following reason is even more important.
When you persist with a girl who is not into you as much as you are into her, it just drains your energy and destroys your mental state.
As a self-respecting man, it is better if you
move on from a girl who does not show interest.
For example, let’s say you are trying to pick up a girl in a club environment.
When you are in a negative mental state, you will carry that negative energy to the next girl you interact with, and things will quickly go downhill from there.
This is precisely the reason why my friends and I used to have a rule, when we were out at a club, to leave the girl as soon as we felt it was not worth the effort.
So, if a girl is unreasonably rude, and she doesn’t have any desirable qualities, then don’t hesitate to leave the interaction.
Don’t waste your time with a girl who does not deserve your time.
I wish you the best of luck!