She Rejected Me But Still Acts Interested

You mustered up your courage to ask that girl out who has been running through your mind for the past few weeks or months (or maybe even years…).

But, all you hear back in return is that she just does not feel the same way about you.

It would be an understatement to say you are devastated, but you know you need to move on, so you slowly work toward detaching yourself from a girl that rejected you.

But for whatever reason, she starts showing all of these different signs of interest out of nowhere, as you try to distance yourself from her.

And you start to become more confused than ever.

Is she into you all of a sudden, or is she just playing games with you?

The truth is, there can be several different reasons as to why she acts all interested when she clearly rejected you not too long ago.

And it likely is not what you are thinking of.

So, let’s talk about them.

1. She likes validation

Many girls will reject you, but they may still act interested just so you could provide them with validation.

In other words, she is more than happy to use you as an extra source of validation.

Girls won’t sleep with every man that shows interest, but they sure as heck don’t mind getting validation and attention from any and every guy out there.

Why do you think women (and men as well) obsess over their social media accounts?

They want to be loved and recognized by others.

I’ve met a lot of girls during my years of actively going out, and I have also seen what they are capable of doing (or rather how far they are willing to go for attention).

As one of many examples, most girls will happily make out with two or more guys (one after another) at a bar or the club, if you get them into that “I feel like doing something crazy today” mindset.

There is a reason why I always preach never being friends with a girl who rejects you.

You don’t want to be another man who wastes his life away trying to cater to a girl who does not even respect you.

Many men will stay in a girl’s friend-zone in the hope that she will eventually fall for them down the road.

And to be honest, that is not entirely impossible if you play your cards right.

But, why would a self-respecting man waste any of his time on a girl who does not feel the same way about him, just so he can have a slight chance of “getting it in”?

So, go ahead and look at a girl’s social media accounts, and observe how she interacts with other men.

Does she appear to be the type who can’t live without validation from other men?

Then, it is time to move on from her.

2. She wants your attention back

If you completely took away your attention (which you should) from her after she rejected you, she most likely feels that void in her mind.

People are more motivated by the fear of losing something that they already have than the potential to gain something they don’t have.

She had all of your validation when you were showering her with attention and interest prior to her rejecting you.

But once you took that attention away from her, she could not help but feel empty inside. 

And this gave her enough incentive to chase you.

We often do not appreciate something until we lose it, and that is exactly what she is experiencing at this moment.

You have two courses of action you can take at this point.

The first option is to keep ignoring her and focus on your life while meeting new girls.

This is the option that I would personally recommend.

You can also give her the ultimatum by letting her know that you have no interest in remaining as her little orbiter.

You can let her know she can contact you if she wants to hang out sometime as a potential romantic partner. But, you should also let her know that you respect yourself too much to be wasting any of your time with a girl who is not willing to invest as much as you are willing to invest in her.

3. You are her backup

Yes, girls can be cruel like that sometimes.

Why do you think girls flirt with other guys while they are in a relationship?

When a man expresses his discontent, she often just brushes it off as them being her friends, or she may even accuse him of being a jealous little boy.

Well, guess what?

Most girls know exactly what they are doing.

They are fully aware that her “friends” want to get with them (although, most of them would never admit), but they want to play the innocent, just so they can keep their options open.

What do you think ends up happening when a girl breaks up with her boyfriend?

More often than not, she gets with one of the guys who she was “just” friends with (funny how quickly the guy goes from being just her friends to being her rebound as soon as she breaks up, eh?)

And this is also the exact reason why there is a chance for something to happen between you and her, although she may not be into you enough to get with you right now (Maybe, you will be the lucky one to be picked as one of her many orbiters on the day she stops seeing her main guy).

So, it is possible she is keeping you as one of her backup options by maintaining some level of interest despite not wanting to get with you at this point in time.

But the real question is if YOU really want to be one of her backup plans.

Well, if you are a man who is desperate without many options, then it will perhaps be time well-spent for you to orbit around her with the hope of getting with her in the near future.

But, any man on his purpose would not waste a second of his life, trying to get with a girl who rejected him.

It is ultimately up to you to decide who you want to be.

4. She likes you but is not ready for a relationship

This is much rarer than the two previous scenarios, but it is a possibility.

She may be interested in you, but she is not ready to deal with commitments that come with being in a relationship.

There is a certain degree of sacrifice that comes with being in a relationship.

You are expected to see each other at least a few times a week, and you can’t date anyone else (if we are strictly talking about the monogamous relationship).

And this can actually be a lot to ask for in this day and age of internet and social media.

It is infinitely easier to meet people and date around compared to even a few decades ago.

All she has to do is just message a dude on her social media account and ask him if he wants to hang out.

A lot of women would rather enjoy their newfound freedom, rather than committing to one guy, unless they are getting close to their 30s, and they are running out of options.

So, how do you deal with this?

One solution is to NOT deal with it and look for another girl who is actually willing to commit.

Another long-term solution is to become a high-value guy that a girl wants to commit.

If you become the highest value guy out of any man she knows, then she is going to want to make you commit to her.

She will realize that getting into a relationship with you will be a better return on investment than being in a casual relationship with a bunch of mediocre men in her life.

In the long run, you want to elevate your value, so girls come flocking to you instead of you always having to chase after them.

5. She wants to make her boyfriend jealous

She rejected you but still acts interested because she wants to make her boyfriend jealous, or just another man she is more attracted to.

In this case, she is practically using you, so she can get more attention from another man.

And to be fair, both men and women do this frequently.

In fact, it works even better when men do this to girls because girls respond incredibly strongly to the emotion of jealousy.

I remember this one time, I was talking to a girl at the gym, and she did not seem very engaged during our conversation.

So, instead of trying to drag out the conversation, I simply started talking to a girl who was standing beside her.

As soon as I started talking to another girl, I could instantly see her (the girl who was not so receptive) attention shifting toward me.

At one point, she walked up to me to re-initiate a conversation and started getting all touchy.

The truth is, men may not get jealous to that extreme with a woman that they just know, but they can often become as jealous as women when it comes to a woman they are in a relationship with.

Girls know this, and they often use this to arouse reaction out of the man they are dating.

A girl wants to know if the guy is still that confident and secure man she knew when she first met him, or if she successfully turned him into a little insecure boy.

You obviously do not want to be a participant of this BS game that a lot of girls try to play.

When you sense she is just trying to use you to induce jealousy in her men, you want to politely exit a conversation.

6. It is all just your imagination

It is also possible everything is just all in your imagination.

Maybe, the girl is being polite after she rejected you, and you are over-thinking everything by reading into it too much.

Men are evolutionarily wired to over-read into the signals that are sent by females.

This is because men who over-interpreted female intention tended to have a better chance of passing on their genes than those who didn’t.

So, you may very well be blowing up her polite gestures out of proportion in your mind.

If you still think this girl is acting interested, then here is the best tip I can give you to assess her true intention.

Look at how she treats other men.

Does she treat you exactly the same way she treats other men?

Then chances are, she is not particularly interested in you.

On the other hand, if she acts a little differently when she is with you compared to how she acts in front of other men, then that may possibly indicate she is into you.

But, it can also be for a whole host of other reasons we have so far talked about in this article.

By this point, I hope you know exactly what you are supposed to do in this type of scenario.

I don’t want to sound like a broken record, but you should walk away from a girl that does not reciprocate the same level of interest you have toward her.

Even if you somehow manage to end up with a girl like that, you are going to be getting yourself into a toxic relationship, which would include a continual disrespect from her.

So, go out there and talk to more girls.

There really is no reason for you to be obsessing over a girl who rejected you when there are millions of girls who would be more than happy to get to know you better.

About the Author Jon Go

I was Introduced to the world of seduction after being a virgin for the first 26 years of life and being dumped by my first girlfriend at the age of 28. The dating world wasn't so kind to a 28-year-old Asian man who barely had any experience with girls. But, I eventually cracked the "code" and began "attracting" two to three new girls a week on average when I was actively going out. I'm not mentioning that to impress you but to impress upon you that you can take your dating life to the next level... IF you are equipped with the right knowledge and a desire to take massive action.

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