So, she lied to you. They say the foundation of a relationship is trust. Can you ever trust her again?
The short answer is it depends. She may have lied to you to protect you. She may have lied because she was afraid of repercussion. Either way, lying is a big deal if you want to have a healthy relationship. My advice is to observe how she treats others to decide if she is worth your time.
Let’s talk about some of the things you want to consider before you make your final judgment about her.
She may know you are sensitive about certain topics, and it’s possible she lied to protect your ego.
For example, she may lie to you about having the most mind-blowing sex with you.
But in reality, it was just a white lie to protect your fragile male ego because she did not want you to feel emasculated.
These white lies are usually harmless, and her primary motive behind them is not to hurt you.
So, they are not exactly the most terrible form of lies.
But, it is not without a problem either.
As she engages in more and more white lies, she may start believing she has the right to decide what you should or shouldn’t know.
And use, “I’m just withholding this information to protect him” as an excuse to not tell you the truth on things that would have been better told.
But once again, this form of lie is most certainly not the worst form of lie, and you wouldn’t just distrust her because she made a few white lies.
This, on the other hand, is something you cannot be taken lightly.
It can be her lying to you about going out with her ex-boyfriend.
It can be her cheating on you behind your back.
She has completely broken your trust, and nothing is going to salvage this broken relationship at this point.
Many men still try to make things work even if their girl blatantly lies to them, and she has been unfaithful in the past.
If you give her a second chance after finding out she has lied to you, it will often not have the effect you desire.
You may be hoping she feels bad about her mistake, and she uses that as a lesson to treat you better and be a better person.
But what will usually end up happening is that she will subconsciously process in her head that it is okay to lie to you, and there is not going to be any repercussion for it.
So, the best thing to do at this point is to let her go.
People can change but only if they want to change.
It is a futile attempt for you to try to convert her into a better person.
Do not bother. Just go find another girl who is trustworthy and has her values firmly established.
That will save you so much time and effort.
Does She Lie To Others?
One of the best ways to examine her true character is by observing how she treats other people.
Does she habitually lie to her parents and close friends when it is convenient for her?
Does she think lying is not a big deal if the other person doesn’t find out?
Observe how she treats others.
How you do one thing is how you do everything.
If she compulsively lies when talking to others, she will most likely lie to you as well if she thinks she can get away with it.
It is more difficult to find out her true nature by observing how she treats you.
She may be putting on a fake mask in front of you.
You are also inevitably going to be biased in how you judge her (in the way she treats you) because you are emotionally attached to her.
For me, this really was the key to finding out whether I can or cannot trust someone.
Many people make the mistake of trusting someone because the person is “nice” to them.
This is how a lot of people’s thoughts operate…
He was nice enough to give me a ride, so he must be trustworthy.
He was nice enough to buy me dinner, so he must be trustworthy.
People subconsciously equate someone’s “niceness” with how “trustworthy” that person is.
But, that is the trap you should avoid both in dating and friendship.
So, what else is important when you are judging a woman’s character?
What is the best way to determine if she is a compulsive liar or a truth teller?
Do not look at how nice they are, but look to see if they’ve got standards for themselves, instead.
Let me illustrate this point with an example of my mother.
My mom has always been a generous person to her family and friends in the past.
Our family was pretty well off growing up, thanks to my father’s successful business.
And my mom did not hesitate to give a helping hand (financially) to any of her close friends or family member.
Unfortunately, my parent’s relationship did not last, and they ended up filing a divorce.
And it is during these tough times when your character is truly challenged.
She used these tough times as an “excuse” for her to do whatever she wanted to do, whether it be meeting a lot of different guys, smoking a cigarette, or gambling all of her money away.
She never had the intention to cause pain and harm to those around her.
But, because she did not have any sort of standards on what she is or is not going to allow in her life, she unavoidably ended up causing a lot of damage to those around her.
And this is often the case with girls that lie to you.
I am sure most of these girls are generally nice people, who would not want to cause deliberate harm to anyone else.
But, Most of them are lacking firm standards.
When things get tough and they can lie out of their situation, then that is precisely what they are going to do because it is more convenient that way.
This is also why it is so important to observe how they treat everyone else as we have previously talked about.
If a girl routinely lies to everyone else around her, then that is her standard (or lack thereof).
And that is exactly how she is going to treat you under a similar circumstance in the near future.
On the other hand, if she believes in being completely transparent with all of her family and friends, then that is most likely the value she will uphold with you in the future.
She may lie about something as trivial as telling her friend that she can’t show up for her birthday party because she is sick when, in fact, it is because she is going on a date.
And guess what?
She is going to do exactly the same thing to you sooner or later.
So, don’t ignore these signs when you meet girls for the first time.
They say you should never judge people.
Well, I say that is a big BS.
We all judge people and we all should for a good reason.
Our ability to judge is exactly what helps us stay away from a terrible person or a situation.
I want you to reflect back on some of the advice that is given in this article, and “connect the dots” by observing her behaviors.
In the future, start this process from the very first moment you meet a girl.
If you do this without letting your biases kick in (aka you ignore the signs because she’s “hot”), then you are much more likely to avoid getting yourself involved with terrible women.
I sincerely wish you the best of luck in finding a trustworthy woman who will not lie to you under any circumstance!