Are you feeling an excruciating pain from a girl mistreating you?
I still remember when my first girlfriend disappeared without saying a word.
I came back home from school only to find out she was gone (we lived together) with all of her stuff.
The next few days consisted of me blasting her phone doing everything I can to get her back.
I tried letting her know just how much I love and care about her.
But, she responded saying she just does not feel the same way about me anymore, and I soon found out she was talking to her exes (yes… not just one, but two) again.
I was devastated for days, and I had no desire to do anything apart from laying on my bed and wallow in my sorrow.
I didn’t realize it at the time, but it was the best thing that could’ve ever happened to me.
This heartache gave me enough courage and motivation to push myself to get out of my comfort zone.
As a result, I ended up experiencing so many things I had never imagined I would experience in my lifetime.
If there is one thing I took away from that painful break-up, I had come to realize that an emotionally painful event is often the best catalyst for a change.
So if you are going through tough times, I want you to realize that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
When you look back on these days after a few years, you will be grateful for how much you had grown as a result of these painful experiences.
As cliché as it may sound, time really does heal all wounds.
So, hang in there.
With that being said, I want to share some of the lessons I had learned from being devastatingly heartbroken by women, so I can help you speed up your recovery time.
Make sure you don’t make the mistake we discuss in the 5th section as it will greatly prolong the healing process.
1. Do not beg for her to stay
I understand how tempting it is for you to let a girl know how much you love her when you want her back, even if she tore your heart into pieces.
Our society has done a great job in making us believe that it is all about being genuine and sincere with your expression.
But sadly, this is not the most effective strategy to get her back when a girl no longer wants you.
The mere fact you’re trying to cling onto her and win her back confirms her belief that you’re a desperate loser with no other options (as harsh as it may sound).
Otherwise, why would you so dearly hold onto someone who doesn’t feel the same way about you?
Girls feel a much stronger attraction toward a man who does not need them to be happy.
Don’t get me wrong. It is not that women don’t like men who are caring.
It is certainly a positive trait that a woman values in her partner, but only if it comes from a place of non-neediness.
When you are loving and caring toward a woman who doesn’t treat you right, it lets her know you are that way only because you don’t bring any other values to the table.
So, what then is the best way to reignite her interest (although, I’d recommend you to move on from a woman who broke your heart in most cases)?
My advice to you is to…
2. Maintain indifference
Whatever a girl does to get a reaction out of you, whether it be leaving you without any notice, ignoring your text messages, or giving you a hard time for no good reason, I want you to remain completely indifferent.
When a woman engages in an irrational behavior, she expects you to “react” to her behaviors in one way or another.
But, when you can demonstrate you’re emotionally unaffected by her unreasonable behaviors, it accomplishes two things.
1. It makes her realize you are not willing to tolerate her childish behaviors.
If you cater to her needs every time she acts in an irrational way, she will continue to act that way any time she wants something from you.
Your relationship is destined to fail at that point.
2. Your indifference will make her chase you.
She will realize she has no control over you, and it will make her chase you more for your validation and reaction.
Once she realizes she can’t get your attention by throwing a temper tantrum, she is going to try another way (often a much nicer way) to get your attention back.
I want you to keep this in mind, however.
While being indifferent may be one of the best ways to get a girl to chase you, I want you to realize you are not being indifferent as a ‘tactic’ to get her to chase.
Rather, you are refusing to tolerate unreasonable behaviors by others because you value yourself first before anyone else.
Let’s move on to the next section…
3. Talk to other girls to relieve your heartache
As much as I hate to admit it, the best way to mend a broken heart (if you’ve been hurt by a woman) is to meet other women.
If you are a self-help junkie, you probably would’ve frowned at that statement.
Some people believe you should strictly focus on working on your ‘inner-self’ and stay away from women while your wounds heal.
Other extremists believe you should quickly fill the void by hooking up with one girl after another.
As with anything else in life, the truth lies somewhere in the middle.
I completely believe it is important for you to work on your ‘inner game’, so your happiness does not constantly rely on the validation of others.
But, it would be naïve for you to believe that you can ever fully detach yourself from the validation of others no matter how many hours you put into meditating and becoming enlightened (but, I am a big advocate of daily meditation to improve the quality of your life).
If you can’t avoid it, then you may as well use it to your advantage.
For this reason, I recommend you surround yourself with a lot of women as you are recovering from a broken heart.
While other women may not necessarily fill all the void that’s been left by your previous girl (If you truly loved her), they will help you feel a little less pain.
However, I do not recommend you to quickly jump into another relationship after breaking up with your girlfriend.
It is often easy to make a bad decision when you are emotionally unstable.
So, simply go out and talk to a lot of girls and have fun without over-thinking.
It will help.
4. Do not be alone
A lot of your negative thoughts start to take over when you’re not doing anything, and you are in your room all by yourself.
Think about the things you do when you’re bored at home while feeling down.
You probably start masturbating more frequently out of boredom.
You probably eat more because you’re stressed out (If you are a stress eater like me).
You probably use more drugs or play more video games.
During periods of stress, nothing good comes out of you being all alone.
It’s a lot easier to keep yourself distracted when you are in the presence of your family and friends.
So, I want you to try to reduce your alone time as much as you possibly can.
These are some of the steps I took when I had suffered from a heartache in the past.
I spent a lot of time outside with family or friends.
I tried to engage in activities that would force me to stay present (e.g. exercise and meditation).
I also tried to exert a lot of energy throughout the day (intense physical exercises), so I would just collapse onto my bed when I’m back home at night.
I simply didn’t give my mind much room to dwell on the past.
If you stick to these steps, I can assure you that you will recover from a broken heart a lot faster than you could have ever imagined.
5. Do not take her back
If a woman broke your heart in a completely disrespectful way, such as telling you a deliberate lie, cheating behind your back, or making you feel insignificant, you should stay strong and not take her back.
When you take her back, it’s inevitably going to do you more harm than good.
In the best-case scenario, you would temporarily feel better for a few days (or a few weeks), and things will go downhill again.
Think about what it communicates if you take her back after she blatantly disrespects you.
You are essentially letting her know that you are okay with being her little pushover.
She is not going to respect you unless you respect yourself first.
And the first step to demonstrating self-respect is to stand up for yourself.
Let her know you are okay without her.
Make her realize you will do just fine without her.
The best way I’ve personally found to eliminate the temptation (of taking back the wrong girl) is to completely cut off all contact with her.
I want you to completely erase her out of your life until your emotions settle down.
It is much easier to make the wrong decision when she re-initiates contact with you while your wound is still fresh.
So, block and delete her from your phone, from your social media account, and even from your email.
You can become friends with her after some time has passed (at least half a year to a year), but now is not the right time for that.
How I transformed after having my heartbroken
I want to end this article by telling you a little story about what happened after a heart-wrenching breakup from my first relationship.
The following six months (after a break-up) consisted of me experiencing the craziest adventures of my life.
I’m not exactly exaggerating when I say I’ve amassed more crazy experiences in those 6 months than I had in the entire 28 years of my life.
I’ve been with the type of girls I never thought I would be able to attract, and I made some of the best friends who will be friends for the remainder of my life.
But more importantly, I’ve gained an incredible amount of confidence in the process.
During that time, I’ve received a couple of long-essay style messages from my ex-girlfriend.
But, I was already way over her for me to even bother replying to her message.
I just want you to realize this one simple thing.
If you don’t let those painful experiences crush you, then you will come out stronger on the other side.
Believe in the process we have discussed in this article and stick to it.
If you do, you will be amazed at how much progress you’ve made even after a few months.
I was Introduced to the world of seduction after being a virgin for the first 26 years of life and being dumped by my first girlfriend at the age of 28. The dating world wasn't so kind to a 28-year-old Asian man who barely had any experience with girls. But, I eventually cracked the "code" and began "attracting" two to three new girls a week on average when I was actively going out. I'm not mentioning that to impress you but to impress upon you that you can take your dating life to the next level... IF you are equipped with the right knowledge and a desire to take massive action.
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