There’s a lot of information about the efficacy of no contact rule. So, is no contact rule really the way to go when you are trying to get her back?
In this article, I want to break some of the myths surrounding no contact rule and what actually makes no contact work.
The first myth is that no contact will work with every girl. Going no contact is certainly effective for a lot of girls and I’ve talked about how people are more motivated by the fear of loss than a chance to gain something in my other articles. This is what makes no contact so effective.
But I want to give a slightly different insight on no contact and what type of girl will be minimally affected by no contact. You may have heard me talk about the power of the environment in one of my other articles.
If you guys were not in a toxic relationship where you guys ostracized each other from having any social interaction, then you and your ex-girlfriend most likely had lives outside of just staring at each other’s faces.
But here’s the thing. The healthier your relationship was, the less effective no contact will be. If the girl still maintained a good relationship with her friends and family, then she will likely have plenty of emotional support from them to help her through tough times. In such a case, It’s unlikely for her to feel a strong urge to contact you.
Here is what’s funny (or sad), however. If it was a mutually healthy relationship and you also maintained a good relationship with your friends and family while you were in a relationship with her, it’s unlikely for you to want to look up on how you can get her back.
If she had an easy time moving on but you are desperately looking for ways to get her back, then my intuition tells me it was a very one-sided relationship. There’s a good chance you sabotaged your relationship with your family and friends so you can spend every second of your life with her.
If that applies to you then you’ve learned your lesson to never base your entire life around one girl.
All in all, no contact is a very powerful tool if used on a girl whose entire life revolved around you. If you guys were in a toxic relationship for more than a year where you guys spent every second of your life together, then that void the girl will feel will be unbearably strong when you guys break up.
If you have a stronger will power than her to endure that painful process then she will most likely be the first one to cave in.
The second point is that you have to be emotionally relevant to her. If you meet a random girl at the party and you asked her out on a date but she ended up ghosting you, how much pain would you feel?
You might get mad or feel down for a few hours or even maybe a couple of days but it wouldn’t last for too long.
On the other hand, let’s say you lived with your girlfriend for a few years. One day, you come back home only to find out that all her stuff is gone and she doesn’t answer your phone, how would you feel? (This is actually what happened to me by the way…)
You would likely feel a much stronger emotion and the effect will last for a long time as well.
If you were very emotionally relevant in her mind, then no contact will drive her crazy. Some people might ask, “Why the heck would she want to leave you in the first place if you were so emotionally relevant to her?”
Well, it’s very possible she wanted to leave because of that temporary anger she was experiencing. But, cutting off contact with her and amplifying that feeling of loss may very well make her realize how much she needs and wants you in her life.
I don’t want to contradict myself too much but this second point I mentioned can very well overpower the first point. Especially if you know how to position yourself in a way that makes her feel like she will never ever meet another guy who she can be her true self with.
On a side note, many guys believe it’s all about giving her good sex and making her cum multiple times and that will be enough to make her cling onto you for the rest of her life.
That, in my opinion, is far from the truth. It can certainly be a nice bonus that will make her want to see you again occasionally but there’s a much stronger trigger in our brain that will make her illogically crave for you.
I may or may not talk about this in my future articles but I probably shouldn’t because I don’t want you to get your dick chopped off or your house burnt down as a side effect of getting her obsessed with you.
The third point I want to briefly touch on is the longer you don’t contact her, the more she’ll want you.
Once again, this is only partially true with some girls and will often backfire. Do you ever notice when you are used to going to the gym for a while and you miss one or two days, your body feels that itch to go back?
But when weeks pass by without going to the gym, then your body gets used to not going to the gym. When you are past that “critical period”, you no longer feel a strong desire to go work out. This same principle applies for no contact rule.
Every girl has a different “critical period” on how long it takes for her to move on but she will eventually stop feeling that strong desire to re-connect with you,
To wrap it up, it is best if you just move on. It makes you feel quite pathetic to use no-contact as a tactic and I’m saying that as someone who did exactly that.
Obviously, there will naturally be that desire to want to contact her if you broke up with her recently, which is fine. But, you want to avoid checking your phone every two seconds to see if your “no-contact tactic” has finally worked on her.
The real question you want to ask yourself is why are you feeling so attached to this one girl? Would a good salesman dwell over one prospect? No. He would just find another more qualified prospect for his product.
Same applies in dating.
Grant Cardone once said the reason you fear rejection is because you have an empty pipeline. You know when you lose her, you have no one else to go to and you are back to being alone.
Your mind plays an illusion that the girl is more special than she actually is but it just simply is not true.
Any and every one is replaceable.
You will find a girl that is way more compatible than the girl you are dwelling over if you are willing to put in some effort into putting yourself out there.
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