You see a hot girl walking toward your direction.
And all of a sudden, your body is not your body anymore.
It feels as if you are “mechanically” moving every part of your body.
You limbs become stiffened and your breathing becomes shallower.
You can’t help but start to think how stupid you must look in her eyes… and you just want to punch your own face for being such a little beta male.
If any of this sounds familiar to you – then you are definitely not alone.
In fact, this actually describes a lot of guys in this day and age.
Thanks to the internet, we are able to socialize with our family and friends without actually having to be in their presence.
Many people (certainly more than you think most likely) are crucially lacking social skill as a result of that.
And if you think about it, hot girls are already intimidating as they are for most guys.
So it actually makes sense you would be filled with anxiety when they are in front of you – since you most likely only interact with them in your imagination.
Not all hope is lost, however.
I want to talk about one rather “weird” technique that can instantly reduce your anxiety and nervousness around girls.
This technique is actually used by some of the world-class actors to calm their anxiety – when they are performing on the stage or in front of the camera.
I’m sure we can both agree that if this technique works for world-class actors to keep calm in front of thousands of people – then it must surely be effective for calming your nerves when talking to girls.
It would be like bringing a gun to a sword fight. An overkill, yet, brutally effective.
But before any of that..
You first want to ask yourself why you are feeling such a terrible nervousness around girls.
It certainly isn’t because you believe that hot girl you see walking toward you – will somehow turn into an evil witch who will smack your head with her broomstick.
So why then does your body go into a “freak-out” mode when you encounter these creatures?
Your subconscious brain believes that she will glance at you, and come up with every possible reason known to man why you’re such a fvcking loser…
Thanks to whatever trauma you had suffered during your early life, you’ve become incredibly terrified of other people judging you.
Now, when you see an attractive girl looking toward your direction… your subconscious brain becomes activated… rapidly tightening every muscle in your body.
You start to feel and act in a completely unnatural manner.
And now, you start dwelling about how much more stupid you must look in the girl’s eyes.
So you feel even crappier and the cycle continues until she’s finally out of your sight.
To simply put, “anxiety is an anticipation of future pain.”
Your brain has learned to automatically anticipate the judgment of other people as soon as you spot anyone within your vision.
It is now time to shatter those calcified beliefs and free yourself from the shackle that’s imprisoned your mind and body for as long as you can remember.
So, how do you accomplish this?
As I mentioned earlier, there is something we can learn from..
And that is called..
The Meisner technique.
It’s a technique developed by a legendary acting teacher, Sandy Meisner.
His teaching is based on getting actors out of their head by shifting their focus from inward to a surrounding environment.
What I’m about to describe you is the exact drill he used to get his actors out of their head.
He would pair up the two actors. He would then order one of them to make whatever comment that comes to his mind about the other actor.
The one that is receiving the comment then had to repeat the same sentence with the exact same tone the other guy said it.
The idea behind it is to completely give your full attention to another person – you then have no mental reserve left to worry about your own insecurities and anxiety crippling up.
If you have suffered (or still suffering) from severe social anxiety before, you would know exactly what I’m talking about below.
The more you “try” to relax your muscle and normalize your breathing, the harder it gets to accomplish those goals.
And this is exactly why I find this technique (a conscious practice of shifting focus from inward to outward) to be so effective.
When is your body most relaxed with normal breathing?
When you are in your room not even paying attention to your own breathing and body.
The same holds true when you are outside.
The more you can almost “forget” about your own body and breathing, the easier it will be for you to get out of your head.
Don’t get me wrong.
There’s certainly time and place for practicing proper breathing and meditating and all that.
But my point is this.
No amount of “conscious” effort to control your nervousness will be effective – until you’re able to learn how to get out of your head.
So what exactly can you do to practice getting out of your head if you don’t have anyone to practice Meisner technique with?
It really is as simple as paying attention to your own body every time you feel nervous tension running across your body.
Then, picking something in your surrounding – whether it be another person or objects in the surrounding – and zoning in on that to the point your mind cannot allocate any focus to your own bodily sensation.
It’s going to take a little bit of time for you but it will soon become your “default” state over time.
And you will have much lesser episodes of nervousness breakdown around girls.
Anyway, that’s it for today.
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Till next time.
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