So, what does it really mean when your girlfriend says she wants to take a break?
There may be several different reasons as to why your girlfriend wants to take a break. First, she may be preparing to move on from you. Second, she is doing it to see how you react. Third, you are not fulfilling her emotional or physical needs. Fourth, everything has become repetitive and boring in a relationship. And, we will discuss much more in this article.
Let’s talk about each of these in details if you are ready to hear the truth.
Getting ready to move on
When your girlfriend wants to take a break, it usually means she is ready to move on.
She most likely wants to ease into the break-up process, and this is her way of doing it.
It is not easy to end a relationship especially if it has been more than a few years.
Perhaps, she wants to minimize the pain she will experience during this process while she is searching for a better option.
Or maybe, she feels like her life will be better without you.
She wants to see your reaction
Your girlfriend may “declare” that she wants to take a break just to see your reaction.
She is trying to see if you are the same man that you used to be (Strong and independent), or if she has successfully turned you into her little kitty.
This is the exact thing that my first girlfriend did to me.
She used to give me a massive headache with her periodic “let’s break up” talk.
I would often beg and plead for her to stay, and I would explain to her how I would treat her like a goddess if she were to just give me one more chance (Yeah, I know… I was pathetic).
Every time I begged for her to stay, it only made her realize that she had successfully “castrated” me.
I was no longer interesting to her since there was nothing left to squeeze out of me.
That is what a lot of girls do when they enter a relationship.
They were attracted to you because of your confident, strong personality.
But, many women also love turning you into a little beta boy that is easily controlled.
They take extreme joy in manipulating you into becoming their little puppy, assuring you each step of the way that she will love you, even more, when you become her good little boy.
And when your girlfriend successfully turns you into her “emotional slave”, she will lose all of her attraction toward you.
You could say it is equivalent to how a lot of men act extremely nice and charming right until the point he sleeps with the girl and distances himself immediately after his “conquest” is over.
So, when she brings up the idea of taking a break, it is in your best interest to hold your ground.
Let your girlfriend know that you are perfectly cool with it if she wants to put an end to this relationship, but let her know you have a zero interest in dragging out a broken relationship.
This is in your own interest because you absolutely do not want to participate in this BS watered down relationship. It will be torture.
When you clearly communicate your intent, you leave your girlfriend with no choice but to pick one or the other.
I want you to realize this.
It is in your girlfriend’s right to bring up the idea of taking a break, but it is in your right to set a firm boundary by clearly letting her know that she can’t push you around so easily.
When you let her know you are not willing to put up with her BS, it will most likely catch her off guard.
She probably expected you to either beg for her to stay or agree to her proposal of taking a break.
And that is indeed what a lot of men do.
But, you are different.
You clearly showed your girlfriend your desire to walk away.
And this will often make her chase you even more because she now realizes you are more willing to lose her than she is willing to lose you.
Not fulfilling her needs
Your girlfriend may want to take a break because you are not fulfilling some of her needs.
And that can either be her physical needs or emotional needs.
When is the last time you and your girlfriend were physically intimate?
Do you touch her as often as you used to, or do you struggle to recall the last time you touched her in an intimate way?
Maybe, you don’t make love to her with the same degree of passion as you used to.
Maybe, she is just not that physically aroused by you because you sort of let yourself go since you got into a relationship with her.
When you fail to fulfill her physical needs, it can certainly make her consider taking a break from a relationship.
But, it is just as important to fulfill a woman’s emotional needs.
A physically frustrated woman can at least take care of her desire on her own (aka masturbation), but it is much harder to release her emotional frustration.
Ask yourself these questions.
Did you stop being your confident and charismatic self since you got into a relationship with your girlfriend?
Did you stop caring for her altogether once you realized she is “yours”?
She may just no longer feel that same degree of emotional pull toward you when she realizes you are no longer the same man she was attracted to.
As Theodore Roosevelt once said, “Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means pain, effort, and difficulty.”
If you want to maintain a healthy relationship with your girlfriend, then it will inevitably require a continuous effort.
It is possible you fell off the wagon somewhere along the journey, and took everything for granted.
But, don’t beat yourself up over it, we all make mistakes.
What matters most is how you are going to interpret the events that happen in your life, and what lessons you are going to take away from them.
Are you going to make the same mistake in the future, or do you know how you are going to tackle the problem if it were to happen again?
I want you to really think about the last time you aroused a strong emotion in your girlfriend.
Women (and men) want to experience that strong emotion.
That is what makes them feel alive.
When everything becomes stale, and she no longer feels anything around you, that is when she thinks to herself, “I don’t feel the same way about this man anymore”.
Do you still surprise her with gifts?
Do you still look at her the same way you used to when you first started going out with her?
These questions may help you find a clue, as to why your girlfriend wants to take a break from a relationship.
Repetitive and Boring
Her interest will dissipate away when things become repetitive and boring.
The very reason why she wants to take a break in the first place may be because you have become stale as a man.
People change over time.
And if one person stays in one spot while the other person moves forward (or backward), the relationship is not going to work out.
Maybe, you have become so used to doing things the same way you have always done with your girlfriend.
Maybe, you just tell the same stories over and over again because there is nothing new and exciting happening in your life.
As a side note, this is why it is very important to live your own life even when you are in a relationship with a girl.
Many men make a mistake (As I once have) of spending every second of their life with their girlfriend when they enter a relationship.
When you do this, you do not have any interesting things to share with her since you already know everything that she does.
There is no longer that “spark” in a relationship, and things become dull and boring.
How often are you putting an effort into spicing things up and doing things differently in your relationship?
When is the last time you and your girlfriend had sex at a different place?
Heck, do you even change your position, or do you just mindlessly do the same positions you’ve always done in the exact same sequence?
Do you ever do something that goes against what your girlfriend would expect you to do, or have you become predictable in her eyes?
I want you to be honest in answering some of these questions and really think about the last time you put some effort into doing things a little differently than what you are used to.
I’m sure this advice isn’t exactly foreign to you.
But the difference between those who manage a great relationship and those who fail to do so come from whether the person applies the knowledge he’s learned.
It sucks to hear but she may have just found another man.
I used to believe women rarely ever cheat, and it is mostly men who go around cheating on their spouse.
But I quickly realized this could not be further from the truth as I started going out more.
I saw more than my fair share of women who would happily cheat on their boyfriends, and I’m strictly talking about women who would cheat on their boyfriend with a stranger.
The actual number of women who cheat on their partner is likely higher than you think considering most women cheat on their partner with the men they are already familiar with.
So, your girlfriend may very well have found a better option for herself, and she is slowly distancing herself away from you.
Maybe, she wants to take a break, so she can decide if she is going to go with him or stick with you.
Does this sound ridiculous to you?
Then, you probably have more to learn about female nature.
Women are not these little angels that will never do terrible things to harm their men.
They are ultimately looking out for their own self-interest.
If they are presented with a better option, they will not hesitate to jump ships.
So, what can you do as a man to protect yourself against this?
It is imperative for you to have options in your life even while you are in a relationship.
Don’t cut out all your female friends because you get into a relationship.
Don’t stop flirting with other women just because you have a girlfriend.
No, I am not advising you to go out and cheat on your girlfriend while in a relationship.
But, you should still have other sources of female presence apart from your girlfriend.
Remember, this is pretty much what every attractive girl does.
Most women make sure to keep their little beta orbiter male friends even while they are in a relationship.
This abundance of male validation gives them confidence that they are still desired by other men.
And it also gives her a sense of security in that she knows she has another man (men) to rely on if her current relationship were to go downhill.
When you have options, you are able to make decisions from the position of power.
Think about the times you made stupid decisions in your life.
How often was it because you were making decisions out of desperation?
When you decide to get into a relationship with a girl who is not a good fit because you felt lonely…
Or when you decide to stay at a stressful job for a little too long because you had no other jobs that could replace your current job…
If you want to make an empowered decision in your life, you simply must have alternatives.
Otherwise, you will let that feeling of desperation cloud your brain from making the most sensible decision.
So, there really is no reason for you to feel guilty about talking to other girls and flirting with them while you are in a relationship.
In fact, it is a healthy way to deal with your sexual frustration that can often accumulate in a long term monogamous relationship, without actually cheating on your girlfriend.
Feeling of guilt
Your girlfriend may want to take a break with you because she is feeling guilty.
She may have cheated on you with another guy, and she feels terrible about it every time she looks at your face.
She needs some time to think about her next course of action, and she wants to take a break for the time being.
It is devastating for most men to find out that their girlfriend has cheated on them.
They start having racing thoughts that include a wide range of emotions, such as shame, anger and insignificance.
I want you to realize this one thing if you found out that your girlfriend wants to take a break because she did, in fact, cheat on you.
More often than not, your girlfriend cheating on you does not say anything about who you are as a man.
I have heard some self-help gurus preach that you should take full responsibility for your life and always put blame on yourself when things go wrong.
The idea behind it is that by taking full responsibility, you are acknowledging there is something you could’ve done differently to change your circumstance.
And their point is that is the most empowering mindset to adopt since you are always in control of your outcome.
While I don’t disagree that this is a great mindset to adopt, it is just so far from reality.
Plenty of women cheat because they are just born cheaters.
No matter how amazingly you treat some of these women, they will always crave for more validation from other men due to whatever issue they’ve suffered from the past.
She may be suffering from daddy issue.
Or she may severely lack the self-confidence to the point that no amount of reassurance from you will make her feel good about herself. And the only way for her to feel that temporary high is to get validation from as many men as she possibly can.
Yes, it is good to adopt an attitude that you can always do something differently or better to change your outcome.
But, it is also important to realize that things are sometimes out of your control, and there may have been nothing you could have done to change the outcome.
Once again, realize cheaters will always tend to be cheaters.
And there is often little you can do to change their inherent tendencies.
Your girlfriend wants to take a break because the relationship is stressing her out.
In fact, taking a break is precisely what we do when we are overwhelmed and tired.
So, what may possibly be causing so much stress for her in a relationship?
Perhaps, she experiences more negative emotion than positive emotion in a relationship with you, and it is draining her out mentally.
Maybe, you and your girlfriend constantly fight over trivial stuff.
Maybe, you like to keep your place very tidy, but she is not exactly the most hygienic person.
Maybe, you guys clash all the time with a differing point of views on everything.
Either way, the relationship is simply not going to last if you guys are constantly clashing over every minor thing.
Dragging out such a toxic relationship is only going to leave deeper scars for both you and your girlfriend, and it is better to let her go before it gets to that point.
Too Much Pressure
Our natural instinct is to run away when we feel too much pressure.
Your girlfriend may want to take a break from the pressure she feels in a relationship.
Do you feel like there are a lot of things that you and your girlfriend are doing only because you guys are in a relationship, and you guys feel obligated to do so?
Are you guys comfortable with just laying back and relaxing together, or do you always feel like you guys “must” do this and that because that’s what couples are supposed to do?
At the end of the day, we want to be around others that make us feel comfortable and relaxed.
When we constantly feel pressured around someone, we are going to want to spend less time with him or her.
Pressure has its’ place if used sparingly (especially during the initial phase of attraction), but too much of it will always repel people away from you.
Not only can this pressure arise from the burden of a relationship, but you may very well be the one who is directly putting pressure on her.
Do you constantly nag her to do this or that?
Do you constantly make her feel stupid when she makes minor mistakes?
Do you put pressure on her to spend less time with her friends and more time with you?
Maybe, you even force her to stop spending so much of her time on her hobbies, so you guys can hang out more often.
All of these are toxic pressures that are going to inevitably destroy any relationship.
The key to a healthy, sustainable relationship lies in effective communication.
But, simply talking about problems alone is not going to resolve the issue.
Both you and your girlfriend need to communicate in a way that doesn’t tear each other apart.
No matter how much you (or her) get emotional during an argument, you cannot let yourself cross the line.
There is no better way to destroy the relationship than to be disrespectful to each other by putting each other down in a conversation.
It will make you guys despise each other, and you will soon halt communication altogether.
Do not ever let your woman cross the line (And you shouldn’t either) and blatantly disrespect you (Or even worse, in front of others)?
When you let that happen, not only is she going to lose all of her attraction toward you for practically “allowing” her disrespect you like that, but she will also realize she can get away with whatever she wants to do or say in front of you.
And it is only going to get worse from that point on.
If your relationship falters to this point, it is no wonder your girlfriend wants to take a break to find another man who she can respect.
I made the same mistake in my first relationship and let my ex-girlfriend walk all over me.
It started with a subtle “joke” about my insecurities and eventually got to the point where she started blatantly insulting my entire character as a man.
Whenever she got mad, there was no limit to what she could say and do.
Whenever she did something I didn’t like, such as contacting her ex-boyfriends or flirting with other men, I just acted like a little frustrated boy instead of walking away from the relationship.
Although I wouldn’t know for sure if she cheated or not in our relationship, it certainly wouldn’t surprise me one bit if she did.
In fact, why wouldn’t she cheat with another man instead of being with a little frustrated boy who has no clear sense of what he wants in life?
Had I known the importance of establishing a clear boundary in a relationship, I would not have wasted my time and her time for nearly two years.
So, it is extremely important for you to clearly define those boundaries from the start and never let her cross that line.
Anyway, that is about the best advice I can give for you if your girlfriend says she wants to take a break from the relationship.
Don’t forget to always value yourself first before anyone else.