Your girlfriend lied to you, and you don’t know if you can ever trust her again.
So, should you ever trust your girlfriend again?
Is it worth trying to make things work at this point?
Let’s talk about that.
Actions speak louder than words
I want you to realize that it really doesn’t matter what your girlfriend has told you.
She could have promised you she will never ever do anything to hurt you.
She could have begged your forgiveness for hours.
But, none of that matters.
She can say this and that, but what actually counts is her behavior.
Throughout my years of meeting and dating girls, I’ve had a lot of instances where I made a mistake of valuing a girl’s words over her action.
And it always turned out to be a bad decision.
When I was dating one of my ex-girlfriends, she would tell me how I should trust her no matter what she does, and she loved talking about how a healthy relationship is about unconditional love and trust.
That all sounded great on paper, but her behaviors did not align with what she preached.
Any time we had an argument, she did not hesitate to pick up the phone and call her ex-boyfriends behind my back.
Any time she was upset with me, she would try to flirt with another man in front of me to get a reaction out of me.
Her actions were never consistent with the words she spewed out.
The same exact idea applies to all circumstances when you are trying to figure out a girl’s tendencies.
For example, a girl may tell you she wants a partner who is nice and cares for her.
But, if she always ends up with a man who is abusive and treats her badly, then you know she doesn’t actually want a nice guy as her partner.
When you are in love with a girl, your brain does not think in a rational way.
You want to believe all of the sweet things she tells you.
When she says you are her soul mate, and that she wants to spend the rest of her life with you, you want to believe that.
When she says you are her one and only, although she is out until 4 in the morning with her guy friend, you still want to believe her.
But, you shouldn’t.
Words are cheap.
If she says you should trust her, but she goes out to the club every night and gets uncontrollably drunk, you probably shouldn’t trust her.
There is a reason why banks check your credit history before they lend you money.
Your past behaviors are often the best predictors of your future behaviors.
For example, if she’s always struggled to be in a committed relationship, and she cheated on all of her ex-boyfriends in her past relationships, that is a good sign she’s likely going to do the same with you.
We often fall into the trap of believing we can change another person.
We believe we can heal a girl’s trauma and change her behaviors with the power of our love.
But, you need to realize these are all just illusions you create in your head.
You don’t have as much power as you may like to believe.
You can’t change a person who does not want to be changed.
So, if your girlfriend has lied to you, it clearly demonstrates she is not someone to be trusted.
It doesn’t matter if she apologizes to you millions of times about how she never meant to lie to you.
It doesn’t matter if she says she will never ever lie to you again in the future.
The only reliable way to decide if she deserves your trust is to observe how she acts going forward.
Why do you want to trust your girlfriend?
I want you to ask why you even want to bother trusting your girlfriend again.
If she’s clearly lied to you, then it shows there is not much respect in this relationship.
In such a case, why wouldn’t you drop her and find someone else?
She’s already crossed your boundaries by blatantly disrespecting you.
She thought it is fine to tell you a lie as long as she can get away with it.
If you forgive her and accept her back into your life, you are essentially communicating to her that you are okay with being treated like dirt.
The first time is always the hardest.
The next time a similar situation arises, she is likely going to default to deceit if she feels she can get away with it.
A lot of men put up with their girlfriend’s crap because they are afraid they can’t do any better.
The idea of having to go out and find another woman is terrifying, and they would rather stick with what they are familiar with.
But, you need to avoid this mental trap if you want to become a man who commands respect from his girlfriend as well as other people around him.
When your girlfriend realizes you are operating in such a scarce mindset, she is going to know she has you completely wrapped around her little finger.
And she is only going to treat you worse.
The solution to this is to expand your options.
Stop spending all of your time with your girlfriend, and go out and meet new girls.
I’m not encouraging you to go out right now and cheat on your girlfriend with another girl.
You will just be lowering yourself to her level if you do that.
But, it is important for you to have other options so you don’t make decisions out of desperation.
When you know you can easily find another girl, you are much less willing to settle for a girl who is not the right fit for you.
It is no different than if you were stuck in a job you hate, but you can’t find a job anywhere else.
You will have no choice but to stick with your current job because you have to pay rent and meet your basic needs.
But, you are less likely to tolerate abuse from your boss if you can find a job where you are treated better.
So, I want you to be honest about the real reason why you do not want this relationship to end despite your girlfriend lying to you.
Can you not bring up what she’s done?
So, what if you still want to make it work although your girlfriend has lied to you?
Everyone deserves a second chance after all, right?
Well, I personally wouldn’t do it, but I don’t blame you if you decide to give her one more chance.
This is the question you want to ask yourself if you are considering giving it a second shot.
Are you going to be able to not bring up what she’s done whenever you are mad at her?
You may not be able to help but lash out at her about how she lied to you every time things get heated up between you and her.
Do you believe you will ever be able to trust her again?
These are some of the questions you must answer honestly before you decide to give her a second chance.
It is a conscious decision you have to make.
When your girlfriend gets on your nerves, you will inevitably think about the times she’s lied to you.
When she says she is at a party with her friends, you will probably wonder if she is out with another dude.
And you will be tempted to accuse her of being a filthy liar.
But, here is the thing.
You can’t use what she’s done in the past against her once you decide to give it one more go.
When you found out she lied to you, you had a choice.
You could’ve moved on from her if that’s what you wanted to do.
But, it was your own decision to stay with her.
So, it would serve no purpose to hold what she’s done in the past against her.
And this is actually why I recommend you to move on from your girlfriend (if she’s lied to you) instead of trying to work things out.
It is not easy to be in a relationship with a girl who has broken your trust.
The amount of mental effort that is needed to overcome your insecurity and doubt is just not worth the hassle in most cases.
It is usually a lot better idea to start afresh with a new girl.
Anyway, I hope this article helped you find some clarity in regard to what needs to happen with your girlfriend going forward.
I wish you the best of luck!