So, why should you ignore girls to attract them?
Why can’t you just be nice and sweet to make girls want you?
But before we answer that question, I want to share a brief story you may be able to relate to.
I go to the gym around 4 to 5 times a week at around the same time, so I see a lot of the same people every day.
And this one dude I know at the gym is friends with a lot of hot girls there.
Whenever I’m taking a break between my sets, I catch him going from one girl to the next spending most of his time talking instead of working out.
But the sad part is it is quite obvious he is not fornicating with any of them.
And by no means am I saying it should be your goal to fornicate with every girl you talk to.
It is, however, a problem when you aimlessly spend two to three hours following girls around without any clear purpose.
So, let me ask you this question.
Do you want to end up like this guy at the gym who spends all of his time following girls around with nothing to show for it, or do you want to become a man who can’t help but make girls chase because of his magnetic personality?
If the guy in the story even remotely reminds you of some of your own behaviors, then you are reading the right article.
In this article, you will learn exactly how to stop chasing a girl, and when you should ignore her to make her want you more.
Do not miss the last couple of sections about the best ways (that I personally know) to command a girl’s respect.
So, let’s get started.
Why it is better to ignore than validate
If you are a nice guy who has been burned by girls over and over again, then I understand how frustrating it can be.
You are probably thinking why it is always those men who don’t seem to care that end up getting girls.
It probably makes you want to pull your hair out when you see a girl hanging onto a man who constantly ignores her and treats her like dirt, but she fails to see a genuinely good guy that is standing right beside her, who would be more than happy to treat her like a princess.
But, here is the truth.
A girl is not going to value your niceness if it is simply handed out to her without her having to work for it.
She knows your validation and attention do not mean anything since they are available to every girl for free.
And this is why most girls are repelled by nice guys (and why it is often better to ignore a girl, at times, to attract her).
Simply being nice to a girl has no value.
She’s already experienced, “I’ll be nice to you because I want you to like me” tactic millions of times from other men.
A man being nice to her is no different than a homeless person holding the door for her in the hope of getting money in return.
So, you now understand it is probably not a good idea to put on a nice guy mask if your goal is to attract a girl.
But, does that mean it is best to ignore a girl if you want to attract her?
The answer is not so clear-cut.
A girl is not going to approach and initiate a conversation with you.
So, it would be foolish for you to ignore a girl from the start if your goal is to attract her.
Before you even consider ignoring a girl, you first need to know how to engage a girl in a conversation and make her feel positive when she talks to you.
In other words, you need to know how to at least be relevant in her mind before you even think about ignoring her to make her chase.
So, when is the right time to ignore a girl?
Let’s go over a few scenarios where it would serve you better to ignore a girl rather than reacting to her.
1. Ignore her when she is being needy
You need to let her know you can’t be available for her at all times.
A lot of girls will slowly try to make you spend more time with them as a relationship progresses.
But, if you are a man on his purpose (and I hope you are), you are not going to be readily available for her all of the time.
And she needs to know that you can’t sit around at home all day watching Netflix with her.
It may upset her a little, but she is going to have more respect for you in the long run.
If you make a mistake of spending too much time with her, she is inevitably going to lose attraction for you.
It all goes back to what we had talked about earlier.
Whatever that is readily available quickly loses its value.
If you want to keep a girl, it is important for you to strike the right balance between not being too accessible and making her feel cared for.
When the pendulum swings too far to one side, you are going to lose her.
2. Ignore her when she talks about another man
This is one of the most common ways a girl will test you.
She will bring up another man to get a reaction out of you, and how you respond will either increase or decrease her attraction to you.
If you emotionally react to her talking about another man by lashing out at her, she will realize you are needy and emotionally unstable, and your value is going to diminish in her eyes.
On the other hand, if you stay emotionally indifferent to what she says, it is going to make her chase you harder.
There are two ways you can deal with this.
- You ignore her by changing to a different topic, or you can even joke about how he (whichever man she talks about) sounds like an awesome dude, and she should go out with him.
- You can also confront her (assuming you guys are in a relationship) by letting her know you do not like it when she constantly brings up another man in a conversation. You can then let her know that you are more than happy to walk away if she is not willing to correct her behavior. This should all be said in a calm manner without making a big fuss.
As much as I love ignoring a girl to make her chase, it is often best to directly confront the issue at hand, and make her realize she can’t take you for granted by showing your willingness to walk away from a relationship.
3. Ignore her when she is being unreasonable
Let’s say you can’t see her because you have an important task at hand, and it has to be completed within a few days.
If she throws a fit because you can’t see her during that time, it is best to ignore her (or break up with her).
You never want to reinforce a crappy behavior by making her feel like it is okay to snap at you every time she doesn’t get her way.
You are not being a terrible person when you ignore her under such a circumstance.
You are just being a reasonable man who refuses to tolerate BS.
Calmly let her know that you have no desire to waste your time and energy on fighting over nothing.
And kindly tell her that she is probably better off finding another man if she is looking for someone who is going to be glued to her at all times.
4. Ignore her when she doesn’t reciprocate
If a girl doesn’t like you, there is no reason for you to continue to chase her.
How do you think a girl would feel when someone she doesn’t like continues to pursue her?
It is just going to repel her even more.
A girl who is not interested in you isn’t magically going to start liking you because you are persistent.
So, you want to stop chasing her immediately.
But, here is the problem.
If a girl is not into you, then it is unlikely she is going to even care when you stop pursuing her.
So, how then is it even possible to ignite her interest by ignoring her?
The secret is in social proof.
Right now, your value is low in the girl’s eyes, and that is precisely why she doesn’t feel any desire to spend time with you.
So, your primary goal should be to increase your value in her eyes.
And the best way to accomplish this is to demonstrate that you have other options (preferably that are as good if not better than her).
When a girl can see that other attractive women lust after you, she will find you more desirable.
You may remember a scene from “How I met your mother” where Robin serves as a wingwoman for Barney by going up to an Asian girl at a bar and telling her how the only cutie she sees there is the blondie standing near the bar (while pointing at Barney).
Robin then tells the Asian girl that he is not showing any interest in her.
The Asian girl immediately becomes interested in Barney, and she tries to prove she is better than Robin by trying to win him over.
While the scene was exaggerated for comic effect, it is a fairly accurate representation of the basic nature of women.
It is ingrained in a woman’s nature to find a man more attractive when he is desired by other hot girls.
There are a few ways you can demonstrate your desirability.
One way is to talk to other girls in front of her.
When she can see that other attractive girls enjoy talking to you, she is going to see you in a new light.
Another way to accomplish this is to post a picture of you with other attractive women on your social media accounts.
One caveat is that you never want to appear try-hard in these pictures.
Just make it look natural as if it’s normal for you to hang out with hot girls all of the time (even if it’s not true).
That about sums up different scenarios where it would be in your best interest to ignore a girl.
In the following sections, I want to talk about what attitudes you should adopt to not waste your time when you talk to women.
Have a clear intention
You first need to have a clear intention when you talk to girls.
Most people don’t even know why they do what they do.
And this is why it is crucial to develop self-awareness, so you can figure out what drives you to engage in certain behaviors.
If you dig deep into the gym guy’s psychology, he obviously enjoyed talking to girls because he liked the attention from hot girls.
But, he wasn’t clear on his intention regarding what he wanted out of spending hours at the gym talking to these girls.
If you were in his situation, this is the question you should be asking yourself.
Is it really worth my time to be spending two to three hours at the gym being these girl’s little talk buddy just so I can get a little hit of validation from them?
Would any self-respecting man engage in such behavior?
The answer is a clear no in most cases.
But, most men never take a moment to ask these important questions.
And even when they do, they fail to be honest with themselves because it hurts their ego to admit that they are engaging in pathetic behaviors.
Do not follow girls around
Don’t always be the first person to initiate a conversation when interacting with girls.
It is true that if you are a man, it is on you to initiate a first approach, so you can give her a chance to get to know you.
But, once you’ve talked to her a few times, let her come and talk to you every now and then.
If you are always the one starting a conversation with a girl, you will inevitably lose a lot of value in her eyes.
No girl appreciates a man who follows her around at all times.
She needs to know it is a privilege for her to talk to you.
This another acquaintance I know at the gym is a good example of someone who doesn’t put girls on a pedestal but ends up attracting them as a result.
This dude has a built physique that clearly shows he’s been putting a lot of work in the gym.
Whenever you see him at the gym, he’s mostly focused on his workout with his hat pressed down.
But, he is neither one of those big awkward dudes who struggles to hold a conversation.
Every once in a while, you would catch him talking to girls nearby when he’s taking a break between his sets.
But, he would always be the first person to exit a conversation to go back to his workout.
And the girl’s reactions are night and day (in a positive way) from the way they would talk to the first guy we had mentioned at the start of this article.
These girls would even occasionally come up to him first and initiate a conversation that pretty much never happens to the other dude.
So, why do girls feel a much stronger attraction toward the second guy compared to the first?
It is because no sane girl wants to be with a man who aimlessly wanders around without a clear purpose.
When you are not clear on your intent, and you do not know what you want, you are not exuding any sort of masculine energy.
On the other hand, the second guy knows exactly why he’s at the gym.
He knows how to get his priorities straight.
He realizes his priority at the gym isn’t to talk to girls, but to improve his physique and health.
I’m not saying you can’t talk to girls at the gym.
In fact, I encourage you to get out of your comfort zone and push yourself to talk to people whenever you can. It is a great way to build confidence.
But, it is so vitally important to set your priorities straight if you respect your time and energy.
If you don’t, then nobody else will.
It is not about ignoring a girl
Let me end this article with one final point.
You do not want to adopt a mindset to purposefully ignore girls to attract them.
It’s not like girls are going to throw themselves at you when they sense your non-neediness.
I don’t want you to misunderstand this advice and become a weird dude who goes out of his way to ignore every girl that stands in front of him.
In fact, that would be a less effective strategy than being a needy guy.
It’s important for you to have the balls to initiate an approach with a girl and give her a chance to get to know you.
Anyway, the title of the article may have been slightly misleading in that it is not so much about ignoring the girl, but rather being clear with your intent and setting your priority straight.
I hope this article helped you to get a clearer idea of how to carry yourself when interacting with girls.
I wish you the best of luck!