Ignore Her To Attract Her

It is actually pathetic and sad at the same time to see guys who follow girls around are the ones who never end up getting the girls.

I touched on this point in one of my other articles but I really want to re-emphasize this because I see way too many guys wasting their entire day following girls around – only to get friend-zoned.

I workout at a university gym and I go there around the same time.

So, I see a lot of the same people every day.

And one of the acquaintances at the gym knows a lot of hot girls there.

When he’s at the gym, I see him going from talking to one girl for fifteen minutes to talking to another girl for fifteen minutes.

Whenever I catch him during the break between my sets, he’s going from one girl to the next spending most of his time talking to girls at the gym.

And it’s obvious he is not fornicating with any of them.

Now, I’m not saying it should be your goal to fornicate every time you talk to girls.

But there is a problem when you just aimlessly spend two to three hours talking to girls with no purpose.

When you are spending time doing something more than an hour or two or longer, you really need to be clear on what your goal is.

I’m not saying you should always approach your interaction with the mindset of taking something from another person.

But maybe your goal is to just have an awesome conversation with your friend or the girl you are talking to – and that is perfectly fine.

Be clear on your intention with whatever you do

Most people, however, are not exactly clear on why they are doing what they are doing.

That is why it’s so crucial to develop that self-awareness so you become more aware of your own action, and you don’t live your life like a mindless zombie.

If you dig deep down into the guy’s (The gym guy I mentioned earlier) psychology, he obviously talks to those girls because he wants attention from them.

If it wasn’t for that reason, he probably would have been talking to both guys and girls.

He also enjoys a little bit of validation that he gets from these somewhat attractive girls.

He may most likely even fantasize about fornicating with them when he’s back home.

But his major motivation for spending hours at the gym talking to these girls is that little validation hit he gets from talking to them.

If you were in his situation, this is the question you should be asking yourself.

Is it really worth my time to be spending two to three hours at the gym being these girl’s little talk buddy just so I can get a little bit of validation from them?

What kind of man does that make me?

When you ask yourself that question and you are honest with yourself, you will realize you are being a pathetic loser.

No guy obviously wants to feel like a pathetic loser which means you will most likely stop acting like a loser once you’ve answered that question.

But so many guys never take a moment to ask themselves why they are doing what they are doing.

And even when they do, they just can’t be honest with themselves because it hurts their little ego.

It would probably be unrealistic to ask this question every single time you do something.

But if you are spending any significant amount of time (like more than one hour of your life…) doing something, it really is the question that needs to be answered.

Let me emphasize one more point…

Do not act like a pathetic loser in front of a girl

When you are always the first one going up to the girl and talking to them… and you just stand there with her for twenty minutes… you lose a lot of value in her eyes especially in a setting like gym where people come to work out.

You become easily accessible and your validation starts meaning nothing.

Talking to you is as exciting as going to Walmart in her mind.

I also must note that this applies mostly to talking to girls in your social circle.

It is a little different story when we are talking about cold approaching random girls you most likely will never meet again once she leaves you.

On the flip side, I see this other dude at the gym.

You can tell from his build that he’s been putting in a lot of work in the gym.

And he’s mostly focused on his workout while he’s at the gym with his hat pressed down.

But he’s also not one of those awkward jacked dudes who struggles to socialize with others.

I see him talking to girls nearby when he’s catching a break in between his set.

And the girl’s reaction is almost night and day difference compared to when they were talking to the first guy.

These girls even come up to the dude every once in a while and initiate a conversation with him which never ever happens with the other dude.

Without getting too woo-woo, there is no masculine energy for someone who’s just aimlessly wandering around.

She might treat you like a cute little puppy but that’s about the extent she will go.

On the other hand, this second guy knows exactly why he’s at the gym and what his priority is.

And his priority is NOT talking to girls.

But to improve his physique and health.

And THAT really is the important part.

Setting your priority straight.

It’s okay to talk to girls when you are at the gym.

In fact, I encourage you to get out of your comfort zone and talk to people wherever you go.

But you really need to ask yourself what your priority is and the main reason why you are there.

When you are clear on that, you most likely won’t make the same mistake that the first guy made.

On a slightly side note, I remember seeing a video from one of the very popular dating coaches on Youtube.

The dude is hilarious and I love the dude but there was one thing I disagreed with.

He was talking about how even when he goes out to the club, he’s on his phone answering emails and such because he is always on his purpose.

You might hear that and think, “Hm… that sounds reasonable since man’s always gotta be on his purpose right…?”

But I don’t quite agree with that.

If you are going to be fully focused on your purpose then you would’ve stayed at home instead of coming out to the club to focus on your purpose.

There is a reason why you chose to go out to the club and that is most likely to chat with girls and see if you can find a girl that you are compatible with.

Spending half of your time looking at your phone and checking your email goes against the reason why you are out in the first place.

As we talked about earlier, all these can be fixed by asking yourself this one simple question.

“Why am I here and what am I hoping to accomplish from this?”

The answer most likely isn’t because you thought working on your business in a loud ass club is the most productive way to getting things done.

If you answered your main priority is to meet people, then you know you should perhaps spend more time socializing with people rather than looking into your phone.

It is not about ignoring a girl but setting your priority straight

Let me end this article with this one final point.

Ignoring the girl completely is never a good idea.

It’s not like the girls are going to throw themselves at you when they sense how non-needy you are.

I just don’t want you to misunderstand this advice and become that guy who consciously ignores every girl that is standing in front of him.

Because that would actually be a less effective strategy than being a needy guy.

So, it’s vital that you have the balls to approach and initiate that interaction and give her a chance to get to know you and experience you.

And that really is the mindset you want to cultivate.

That you are giving that girl a chance to get to know you rather than you being a beggar for love.

Anyway, the title of the article may have been slightly misleading in that it is not so much about ignoring the girl but rather setting your priority straight.

If there is just one thing that I want you to take away from this article, it is simply asking yourself that question.

“Why am I doing what I’m doing right now?”

About the Author Jon Go

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