Why is it so hard to stop obsessing over your ex-girlfriend, and what is the best way to get over her?
You will discover the exact answers to these questions after you are done with this article.
Without further ado, let’s get right into it.
Why you can’t stop thinking about your ex-girlfriend
You’ve been with her for a long time
If you have been in a relationship with your ex-girlfriend for years, it only makes sense for you to struggle to get over her.
You guys share a lot of memories together, and she has been taking up space in your mind for a long time at this point.
You are not going to be able to just flip the switch and forget about her when you guys have spent so much time together for so long.
Time is the best antidote to heal your pain, but there are a few things you can do to speed up your recovery, as you will soon find out.
You have no other options
It is really easy to feel attachment toward someone when you have no other (or better) options in your life.
A lot of men convince themselves into believing that their ex-girlfriend is their soul mate when in reality, they are just feeling desperate because they have no other options.
This is the time to be honest with yourself.
Would you really feel such a strong attachment toward your ex-girlfriend if your life was filled with girls who are as attractive as your ex, and with a much better personality?
The answer is no in most cases.
Beggars can’t be choosers.
The less options you have in your life, the more needy and desperate you will become.
You check her social media
If you are constantly stalking your ex-girlfriend on your social media, it is no wonder you can’t stop thinking about your ex.
You are essentially training your brain to continuously engage in her thoughts.
You are making it more difficult for yourself to move on every time you see her on your feed or every time you go to her profile to browse her pictures.
You don’t do much with your life
If you are unemployed and you have no hobbies, and your life is filled with a lot of free time, what do you think you would be doing during those free times?
You will either engage in your past or future thoughts.
When you have a lot of time on your hand, it is a surefire way to cloud your brain with useless thoughts.
Your brain is likely to think about your ex all of the time simply because it is bored, and it has nothing better to think about.
You have no friends
Do you have a good group of friends you routinely hang out with?
When your ex-girlfriend was (and is) the only person you interact with on a frequent basis, it is going to take you a lot longer to get over her.
The fewer people you have in your life, the more you will become reliant on those people for your emotional well-being.
As we had talked about earlier, don’t count on just one person for your happiness, whether it be a relationship or a friendship.
Do this if you can’t stop wondering what your ex is doing
Now that we have talked about some of the reasons why you can’t stop thinking about your ex, let’s discuss the solutions.
Expand your options
Go out and meet more girls.
The more options you have in your life, the less needy you are going to feel.
I understand it is not going to be easy for you to step out of your comfort zone and start talking to a lot of girls.
I’m not saying you should go out on the street right now, and start approaching girls as some pick-up artists would recommend.
I do, however, want you to take that initial step of initiating a conversation with a girl whenever you get a chance.
It can be as simple as asking a cashier how she is doing.
It can be having a conversation with a fundraiser.
You need to start getting used to talking to girls again.
When you start to step out of your comfort zone, you will inevitably encounter a lot of situations where things feel awkward.
But, this is something that you have to accept.
Nobody is good at the beginning of doing something new.
You need to realize you can only get good at something when you are willing to suck for a period of time.
As you talk to more girls, you will begin to find girls who you connect with better.
Your conversations will flow naturally, and you won’t have to force anything.
When you find a girl you have a chemistry with, it is time for you to muster up the courage to ask for her number.
It is going to be scary especially when you’ve forgotten how to talk to girls after a break-up, but this is one of those moments where you just have to man up.
I want to emphasize once again that you have to make a decision to get out of your comfort zone on a daily basis.
You will feel a stronger urge to stay silent rather than chatting up a cashier.
But, ask yourself this.
Are you willing to endure a little bit of awkwardness if it means you can change your dating life for the better?
If you consistently push yourself this way, then it is only a matter of time until your life is filled with a lot of girls (and friends) who you have awesome chemistries with.
At that point, you can choose to be with a girl that you are actually compatible with instead of settling for a girl you may not even like.
Stop looking at her social media
I understand how tempting it is to check her social media.
Maybe, you are paranoid about her possibly hitting up one of your best friends to mess with you behind your back.
But, it is time to let her go.
The more you stalk her on her social media account, the longer she is going to linger in your mind.
You are unnecessarily prolonging the recovery period by dwelling over her.
So, delete her from your social media account, and don’t look her up ever again.
It is initially going to be difficult, but you are going to get over her so much faster than if you were to keep seeing her images over and over again.
As a side note, if your ex-girlfriend happens to be a crazy one who has a tendency to blow up your phone when she gets drunk, I highly recommend you to block her from your phone as well.
You want to minimize contact with her for the time being.
You guys are no longer together.
Whatever she decides to do with her life, it is her business.
Let her live her life, and you should focus on living your life as well.
Do things with your life
I know how tempting it is to sit in your room and wallow in your sorrows.
But, I want you to force yourself to do things you enjoyed doing before you met your girlfriend.
It can really be anything, such as going to the gym, playing video games, and spending time with friends.
The more you immerse yourself in different activities during the day, the easier it will be for you to not think about your ex-girlfriend.
When your brain is focused on a certain task at hand, you have no mental reserve to think about your ex.
The toughest part is forcing yourself to leave the room.
But, you know it is the right thing to do for you to quickly move on from your ex-girlfriend.
Hang out with friends
If you neglected your friends while you were in a relationship, you’ve made a grave mistake.
It is, however, never too late to undo your mistake.
Reach out to your friends and apologize to them for being a crappy friend, and invite them over for some pizza and beers.
Most people respond well to sincere apologies.
If you’ve reached a point of no return with your friends, it is time to build a new social circle.
It is usually a good idea to find friends from places where you spend most of your time, whether it be school, work, or the gym.
Strike up a conversation with people whenever you can, and suggest to hang out if they seem to be easygoing.
Anyway, I hope this article gave you a better idea of how to stop thinking about your ex after a break-up.
I wish you the best of luck!