You feel like you can’t go on anymore. She was your entire life and now it is all over. It feels like a mission impossible to get over your ex girlfriend. Is there anything you can do to ease that gut-wrenching feeling?
These are some of the best ways that I have found to get over my ex girlfriend when I was on the brink of giving everything up. If you feel you can’t get over your ex girlfriend, you should: Delete her from your life, meet other girls, rely on your friends, and immerse yourself physically.
I know you probably feel like it is impossible to get over your ex girlfriend but bear with me, and I promise there will be a light at the end of the tunnel.
The first and foremost thing you need to do to get over your ex girlfriend is to delete her from everything.
Your goal at this point should be to move on as quickly as you possibly can.
And the best way to accomplish that is to delete her from your entire life as if she’s never existed in the first place.
Delete her from all your social media accounts. Block her from your phone. Hell… even block her from your email (That is what I did during my first break-up).
There is no exception to this rule.
Do not even let one medium of communication slide by.
That one contact from her can collapse your willpower, and make you fall back into that negative spiral of obsessing over her all over again.
There is no such thing as “gradually” cutting her out of your life especially when you are experiencing so much pain to the point you feel like you can never get over her.
Looking back on my first relationship, I would have gotten over my ex-girlfriend much faster if I completely cut ties with her from the get-go.
I voluntarily let her play with my feelings by allowing her to text or call me whenever she wanted, even after she broke up with me.
We then repeated a cycle of breaking up and getting back throughout two years of our relationship.
While I learned and grew up a lot as a person during this toxic relationship, it would be a lie to say it wasn’t a huge waste of time.
You may re-initiate contact with her when you are over her, and there is no feeling left.
But as long as your feelings still remain, do not leave any room for that flame to re-ignite.
Kill it completely and don’t ever look back on it.
And when you erase her from your life, you will notice she will start chasing hardcore.
When I deleted my ex girlfriend all of my social media (and even blocked her from my phone), she would randomly show up to my apartment to talk to me (because she had no other way of contacting me).
That is when I truly realized that the lesser you chase, the more she will chase.
But, I won’t even go into detail about how going no contact is a great way to get her chasing because I would rather you move on from her, and naturally get her to chase as a “by-product”, but not as a “primary goal”.
You may possibly share some mutual friends with your ex-girlfriends, or your friends may keep bothering you about what happened between you and her.
In a case where your ex-girlfriend is constantly brought up in front of you, just let them know you would prefer not to hear anything about her at this point.
If they don’t get the message and still get on your nerves by constantly mentioning her name, then stop hanging out with them. It’s as simple as that.
During this process, it is imperative you don’t cave in to that temptation of checking her social media and look up what she is up to.
You are “addicted” to her right now.
As with any addiction, you don’t want to give your brain any trigger to fall back into that loop of re-engaging in your addiction.
And I won’t lie.
That withdrawal you experience during the initial period is going to be painful.
Probably more painful than if you were to gradually cut contact with her.
But, if you are able to withstand that short, intense period of pain, you are going to come out on the other side a lot faster than you could have ever hoped for.
So, please mark my words and consider following my advice.
And I’m sure you will thank me for it later down the road.
Meet Other Girls
There is a saying in the dating community, that the best way to get over your ex girlfriend is to go “make love” with ten other girls.
While it is debatable whether that is the healthiest approach to getting over your ex girlfriend, there is some truth to the statement, without a doubt.
For most men, they struggle to get over their ex girlfriend because they either feel like they can’t do any better than her, or they just don’t have many other options in their lives.
It is a lot easier to feel like you “love” that one person when you don’t have anyone else in your life.
Do you think you would really cry over your ex girlfriend if Jessica Alba (or whatever female celebrity you adore) appeared in front of you and suggested going on a date?
The answer is a resounding no for most men.
You stop becoming so desperate when you have an abundance of options in your life.
You no longer need to chase that one person’s validation for you to feel happy.
Some may argue that you should never chase other’s validation in the first place and derive validation “internally by working on yourself first.
It really is a wonderful advice “on paper”, and I do agree that you never want to become “dependent” on other’s validation, but it would be foolish to assume you can ever fully detach yourself from the validation of theirs.
Sure, we should all work toward detaching ourselves from the validation of others as much as we possibly can, but it would be incredibly naïve to believe we can be completely free of them.
And that is why one of the most effective ways to get over your ex girlfriend is to just meet a ton of girls.
You don’t even necessarily have to get intimate with every girl you talk to.
Just a mere fact that you are constantly interacting with the opposite sex will give you enough confidence to not fall into the trenches of insecurity.
Your confidence mostly hit rock-bottom after your ex girlfriend left you (Or even worse, cheated on you).
Sure, you may be able to regain that confidence by meditating and reading books, and I am all for those as a long term strategy to building lasting confidence.
But, what you need right now to get up on your feet is to just surround yourself with a lot of awesome people.
When my girlfriend broke up with me, I made a conscious decision to go out every night and force myself to talk to girls.
I would stay out until very late at night, then I would just collapse on my bed (I didn’t drink when I was out, and I would recommend you against drinking as well) when I got back home because I was drained from the long hours of social interaction (It actually is a draining process for a natural introvert).
I did not even give my brain a “chance” to engage in useless, negative thoughts that would bring me down.
Fast forward a month or so, the thoughts of my ex girlfriend rarely ever crossed my mind.
And when she realized I was having a blast since she left me (She stalked me on one of the social media accounts I created after she broke up with me and messaged me there), she became incredibly desperate for my validation.
When I kept ignoring her, she sent me a long essay talking about how she feels and how much she cares about me, but I was already completely over her at that point to even bother replying.
But let me emphasize this point one more time. Do not cut contact with her as a gimmick to get her back.
Just completely move on from her, so you can live your life.
And maybe she will want to crawl back into your life as a by-product of that. But, you will have moved on from her anyway at that point.
Rely on Friends
Spend more time with your friends when you feel like you can’t get over your ex girlfriend.
Your friends are your biggest asset when you are in a rut.
The less alone time you have, the better it is.
Even better, go out with your friends and talk to girls.
When you are all by yourself, you are more likely to think about your ex girlfriend.
You are probably not going to feel motivated to hang out with your friends.
You are feeling all sad and depressed wondering if your ex will ever come back.
You would rather be in your room and wallow in sorrow.
But, you need to force yourself to get off your ass and get out of your house.
The void of one person is best filled with another person (at least in the short-term).
Do not feel like you have to somehow just meditate your way out of misery because you read all these self-help advice, telling you that you need to learn to be okay on your own.
Use whatever resources that are effective to get yourself back into that normal state.
And THEN you will actually have a mental capacity to work on your “inner-self”.
Until then, go meet girls, talk to your friends, and minimize your alone time.
I promise it will help you to get over your ex faster.
Immerse Yourself Physically
What do you think about when you are completely immersed in physical activity?
And I don’t mean half-immersed, but fully immersed in an intense physical exercise.
Your brain stops thinking. It is fully “present” in the moment.
You just instinctively move your body to keep up with the pace.
There is no room for your brain to feel depressed.
All it can focus on is the task at hand because fast-paced athletic movements require extreme focus.
There is no other way but to be completely present during the time of intense physical activity.
I suppose you can say you are practicing an “active meditation” in a way.
But, as an added benefit, physical exercises will also get you in great shape and boost your confidence like nothing else.
It is an intensely satisfying feeling to put hard work into exercising and seeing yourself transform into a new and better version.
For me, my outlets were Olympic style weightlifting and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu (BJJ).
Martial art such as BJJ is especially great because you are sparring against people in the class.
And you have no room left in your brain to engage in useless thoughts, such as how your ex girlfriend screwed you over.
Otherwise, you are going to get destroyed by your rolling (sparring) partner.
Basically, any and every activity that brings you into the present moment is great for getting over your past traumas.
By the same token, playing video game can also be great for forgetting about your ex-girlfriend.
But, this would be equivalent to masking one problem with another problem.
So, it is not something I would ever recommend.
Do not fall into the trap of relying on drugs, alcohol, gambling, etc to ease your pain.
They may give you temporary relief, but they are going to destroy your life in the long run.
Instead, pick up a new, healthy hobby that is going to benefit either your mental or physical (or both) health.
Move Your Body
Not only should you take up a hobby that helps you to exert yourself physically, but you should also just move around a lot in general.
As Tony Robbins says, “Motion creates emotion”.
Do not try to change your emotion while you are laying on your bed staring into the ceiling.
Force yourself to move around more.
Instead of driving a car or taking a bus to places, choose to walk to places that are within your walking distance.
Instead of spending too much time sitting on a desk, make some time to stretch and walk around in between your work.
Go hiking. Swim at the beach. Run a marathon (if that is your thing).
And I want you to “force” yourself to walk around with a confident, purposeful walk as opposed to walking around sluggishly.
It is true your mental state affects how you feel, but it is also true that your physiology affects your mental state as well.
If you walk around like you are feeling happy and confident, then your brain will start to believe you are happy and confident.
If you walk around like you are feeling miserable, then you are going to continue to reinforce your brain that you are indeed miserable.
So, pay attention “how much” you move and “how” you move throughout the day.
Anyway, that is about the best advice I can give on how you can get over your ex girlfriend.
At the end of the day, just realize that time really does heal everything no matter how painful it feels right now.
Hang in there and implement some of the tips that you’ve read in this article, and she will be gone from your memory before you realize.
I was Introduced to the world of seduction after being a virgin for the first 26 years of life and being dumped by my first girlfriend at the age of 28. The dating world wasn't so kind to a 28-year-old Asian man who barely had any experience with girls. But, I eventually cracked the "code" and began "attracting" two to three new girls a week on average when I was actively going out. I'm not mentioning that to impress you but to impress upon you that you can take your dating life to the next level... IF you are equipped with the right knowledge and a desire to take massive action.
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