How stressful is it to figure out what to text a girl you just met?
You don’t know her well enough yet, and you don’t want to potentially ruin things by texting her something stupid.
I totally understand it can induce a lot of headaches.
But, you should have no unanswered questions left in your mind on how best to text a girl you just met once you are done reading this article.
Make sure you don’t make a mistake we discuss in the 5th section as that is a surefire way to creep a girl out.
1. Avoid showing too much eagerness
This is not the right time to show how much you care and how much of a husband material you are.
She is still getting to know you, and showing too much eagerness will make you come off as too much too soon.
When a girl barely knows you, she doesn’t want to feel pressured into doing something.
Do not text her saying how she is the best thing that’s ever happened to you in the past three years.
Do not text anything that puts her on a pedestal (i.e. telling her how she is the most beautiful girl you’ve met).
This type of behavior will only serve to let her know that you are a man without many options.
A girl does not want to be with a man who chooses her out of scarcity.
She wants you to choose her because she was the best option you could pick out of “many” options you had.
2. Induce curiosity if she does not promptly reply back
When a girl doesn’t have too much interest in you, the best way to get her to reply is to spike her curiosity over text.
Some may believe there is no point in getting a girl to reply this way since it won’t go anywhere anyway.
But, that is not entirely true based on my personal experience.
If you can get a girl to respond to your text, there is still a chance good things can happen between the two of you.
I’ve had many times where the girl wasn’t exactly into me, but I got her to reply and meet me by inducing her curiosity, and things ended up working out.
So, what exactly is the best way to get her curious?
And it is actually quite straightforward.
Your text just needs to follow these two principles for the most part.
Leave a gap in the information
Make it relevant to a girl
Our brain is wired to want to fill in the gap whenever we are presented with an incomplete information.
When you don’t completely “finish” what you started, she is going to naturally want to find out what it is that you wanted to say.
You also want to make your text message relevant to a girl because we are all primarily self-interested.
A girl’s favorite topic is herself.
When you spike her curiosity by leaving a gap in the information, and you imply it is something that is related to her, it is going to be extremely difficult for her to not chase you.
I’ll give you one example that fulfills both of the above requirements, but it can really be any text as long as it follows the two principles outlined above.
“Hey, I meant to tell you this in person. But, you know that outfit you were wearing…”
When you send a text like that, she is going to wonder what the heck it is that you want to say.
She is most likely going to reply promptly asking what it is that you want to tell her.
But, how you follow-up is just as important as getting her to respond.
We will go into detail about what you can do to turn that curiosity into getting her to meet you in the 8th section.
3. Do not take too long to text her
A girl’s interest is fleeting especially when she is just getting to know you.
She may “appear” to be all over you the first time you guys met, but her interest is soon going to dissipate (especially if it’s an attractive girl with a lot of options) if you don’t do anything about it.
This is why you do not want to wait too long before you send her your first text.
Text her about 10 minutes to half an hour after you’ve met her.
Don’t over-think this part. You do not want to text her something that makes you look try-hard.
Just make sure to keep it simple with a few words.
Don’t write an essay about how it was amazing to hang out with her.
You can even just ask her how she is doing.
The point of the first text is simply to gauge her level of interest.
If she replies promptly, or she replies with a long message, then that is usually a good sign she is interested in you.
If she ignores you for hours, or she replies with a one-word text, it likely means she is not that into you yet.
Either way, your initial text will give you an idea of where she is at.
4. Keep the length of your text about the same as hers
When you text a girl you just met, a good rule of thumb to follow is to keep the length of your text message about the same length as her text.
Let’s say you text a girl with a one-sentence text, and she replies with a simple one-word response.
It would be a mistake on your part to reply back with more than a few words.
When the girl is clearly showing a lack of interest, it will make you appear even needier when you start chasing her.
A better thing to do is trying a “different” approach which we will soon discuss in the latter section of the article.
But anyway, it is a very common mistake for a lot of men to send a lengthy text message when the girl is barely reciprocating to their text.
You may wrongly believe that the more you show you care, the more likely she is going to open up to you.
But, more often than not, she is just going to categorize you as a desperate loser who doesn’t have any other options.
So, eradicate all of the neediness out of your system whether you are interacting with a girl in real-life or over texts.
5. Avoid triple texts without a reply
So, why avoid triple texts instead of double texts?
You may feel that even double texting (without a reply) is needy, but here’s my take on it.
When a girl doesn’t know you that well, there is not much incentive for her to chase you.
If it is an attractive girl, she probably gets a plenty of male validation throughout the day.
For this reason, you often need to be willing to go the extra mile to stand out among other men.
And giving her at least a second chance to get to know you (if she ignored you the first time) is the gentlemanly thing to do.
It is not, however, cool to text a girl three times or more in a row without getting any reply in return.
At that point, you are throwing away your pride and dignity as a man, and it is surely not going to make you feel great about yourself even if you do end up getting with her.
I’ve been there and done that, and I can tell you that every time I had to excessively chase a girl to get her out, I felt this disgust toward myself (even when I ended up getting with her).
This rule is obviously not set in stone.
At the end of the day, you’ve got to have your own standards, and you need to make up your own mind on how far you are willing to go before you decide it’s not worth the effort.
I’ve personally decided that text messaging a girl more than two times in a row without hearing anything in return is not something I want to do, but you can come up with your own rules if you desire.
6. Keep it light without being a try-hard
You want to avoid texting anything that is blend or heavy to a girl you just met.
Unless you are happy being her little texting buddy, your primary reason for texting a girl should be to provide her with positive emotional spikes every time she receives your text, so she is excited to meet you in real life.
Do not use text messaging as a way to get to learn more about a girl (unless it naturally goes with the flow of the conversation you guys were having over text).
A lot of men make a mistake of bombarding a girl with a bunch of questions (and also revealing everything about themselves) over texts, and they end up killing all of the excitement and mystery in the process.
Instead, focus on keeping it playful as opposed to digging out “information” about a girl over text.
But, you’ve also got to be careful to not go overboard with this by trying to make lame jokes with each and every text you send.
Just remember that too much of anything is bad.
7. Casually invite her out
You should never forget that the goal of text messaging a girl is to actually hang out with her in real life.
Otherwise, you are just wasting valuable time you could be spending on something else.
If she is an attractive girl, she is not even going to bat an eye when you stop texting her, as she likely has plenty of other men who are showering her with validation on a daily basis.
So, you don’t need to worry about how it may be ungentlemanly to ignore her over text if she refuses to see you in real life.
Once she replies to your initial text, and you guys have a couple of exchanges over texts, it is time to suggest hanging out in real life.
Do not put so much pressure on her by asking her out to fancy dinner.
Simply suggest going for a walk, grabbing a coffee, or going for a drink at a nearby bar.
A good rule of thumb is to invite her out to tag along with you on whatever you were already planning on doing before you even asked her out.
Keep things low-key, so it is easy for her to say yes.
8. Pick up your phone
Do you remember when we talked about inducing a girl’s curiosity earlier?
This advice I’m about to give you is precisely what I want you to do when you get a girl to respond to your text message.
It is best to call her as soon as you spike her curiosity because her emotion is flowing throughout her body, and she is feeling that intense desire to figure out what you mean.
Calling a girl should be your “default” over texting. Things are a lot more likely to fizzle out when you text her as opposed to calling her.
There is only so much you can convey with words alone, but it’s a different story when you can get her on the phone to hear your voice.
Instead of going on a long drawn out explanation, let me simply list a few reasons why you want to call a girl.
You can convey your message a lot more clearly over the phone. A little nuance often does not get picked up over written words.
You can easily transition into talking about whatever you want (and this is helpful when you want to change your topic from whatever you induced her curiosity with, to some other topic, such as asking her out) because a girl is more focused on your energy (than words alone) when she is on the phone with you.
You can get everything done in a time-efficient manner rather than spending days of texting a girl back and forth to set something up.
One missed call looks a lot less desperate than being ignored after sending a paragraph-long text message. Every time a girl looks at your text message, it will remind her of how needy you are. You essentially avoid leaving any evidence of desperateness when you dial her number.
9. Do not send her good morning texts
This is an additional section I did not plan on including, but it was brought to my attention that more men engage in such a behavior than I had previously thought, so I figured I’d talk about it.
I’ve had one of my ex-girlfriends tell me a story of how she met this one guy at school.
She initially liked him, and she enjoyed his company, but there was one thing that this guy did that completely turned her off, and eventually, made her ignore him.
So, what did he do?
He started sending her good morning (and good night) texts after they had only been on one or two dates.
Needless to say, she felt a lot of pressure since they were only just getting to know each other, and it ultimately made her push him away.
While you may believe it is a gentlemanly thing to send a girl good morning text, you want to avoid showing too much affection when you barely know the girl.
A girl is not going to value your affection when she didn’t do anything to earn it.
A girl wants to win you over as opposed to receiving your unconditional love when she doesn’t deserve it.
So, give her that gift.
Anyway, I hope this article helped to clear up any confusion you had regarding the best approach to text a girl you just met!
I was Introduced to the world of seduction after being a virgin for the first 26 years of life and being dumped by my first girlfriend at the age of 28. The dating world wasn't so kind to a 28-year-old Asian man who barely had any experience with girls. But, I eventually cracked the "code" and began "attracting" two to three new girls a week on average when I was actively going out. I'm not mentioning that to impress you but to impress upon you that you can take your dating life to the next level... IF you are equipped with the right knowledge and a desire to take massive action.
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