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How To Talk To Girls If You Are Shy

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Listen…

I would love to tell you it’s ok to be shy and everything is going to work out fine.

I would love to tell you… you will find that right person who will love you for who you are… and you don’t need to change a thing about yourself.

But I would be lying if I did.

The truth is…

You will never reach your potential and get everything you deserve in life if you get caught in that loop of being shy and introverted.

And I completely understand what you are feeling.

I was the same way.

I was so afraid.

So afraid to step out of my house. So afraid to speak up in front of others. So afraid to express to others what “I” am thinking… what “I” wanted to do.

But that path just led to a world of misery and I turned out to be this completely weird, socially awkward dude at the age of 28, having no clue how to talk to girls.

It wasn’t until I decided that I’m going to completely transform, not just improve, but completely “transform” myself that my life finally started heading in the right direction.

I just want you to realize that it is possible to change, but only for those who are willing to pour blood, sweat, and tears into that brutal process of transformation.

So, let’s talk about how you can take that first step to turn into a confident man.

How to stop being shy and awkward around girls

You need to change one thing if you want to overcome your shyness.

No. It’s not taking a deep slow breath when you get anxious.

No. It’s not consciously trying to relax as much as you can.

What you need to focus on instead is…

The girl that is in front of you.

Sounds simple eh?

Let me elaborate.

What do you think is the reason why you are feeling so nervous and tense around girls?

When talking to girls, your brain is probably too clouded to even process why you are feeling the way you feel.

But it comes down to this.

You are subconsciously (and/or consciously) fearing that the girl is probably judging you when you are talking to her.

The way you are looking at her, the way your voice sounds, and the way you move.

Your brain is in hyper-alert mode because you believe the person in front of you, is noticing any and every little weird thing about you.

The only way you can break out of that is to shift your focus from inward to outward.

If you’ve suffered from chronic shyness and awkwardness, you must have surely looked up ways to alleviate your shyness and anxiety.

And I’m sure you’ve come across tips that told you to breathe deeply and relax your body as a way to remedy your anxiety.

But how well did that work out for you?

You are already hyper-focused on your bodily sensations when you are feeling anxious.

So how exactly are you going to alleviate that by focusing in on your body even further?

The best way to deal with anxiety is to simply snap yourself out of it by shifting your entire focus to the other person.

A similar technique is also heavily utilized in Meisner teaching. Meisner is a legendary acting coach who helped celebrity actors to overcome crippling anxiety in front of a camera.

Having suffered from extreme social anxiety for most of my life, this is pretty much THE most effective way to reduce anxiety.

But the most important thing is for you to stick with it and practice it daily.

Any time you feel your anxiety crippling up, simply make the best effort to focus on the person you are talking to.

You will gradually get consistent over time, and you will feel at peace more times than not when you are in social situations.

As with anything you want to improve, you need to engage in daily practice and constantly work on it.

The mind is just like a muscle

If you don’t train it frequently, then you’ll revert back to your old self.

It really is a never-ending process.

I talk about more of a quick fix in the next section. 

Talk to shy girls

People generally like others who operate on a similar wavelength.

Shy and awkward girls will be a lot more forgiving to your shyness.

On the other hand, a super confident girl will quickly lose interest if you show any type of social “weirdness”.

A shy girl will often just appreciate the fact that you are putting any sort of effort to keep the conversation going and may even secretly cheer for you to do well.

Because she totally understands how terrifying it can be to muster up the courage to talk to another person.

What is ultimately most important is your willingness to step out of your comfort zone even if you don’t feel like doing so.

I want to finish this article by telling you one story.

I was at the gym the other day and there was this guy just standing there in the middle of the gym, waiting for others to finish with the squat rack.

The guy just stood there for twenty minutes, although he could’ve easily asked others how many more sets they have left.

Instead, he decided to just stand there waiting for his turn.

Meanwhile, some other guy entered the gym and came up to my squat rack, and asked how many sets I have left.

I told him I just have one set left and this guy took over my squat rack when other dude had been waiting for twenty minutes.

This may sound like an insignificant story, but the same principle applies to every other area of your life.

You have to go after what you want, whether it be your dream girl or your dream career.

If you just stand there and wait, then someone else will come over and take your spot.

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