I would love to tell you it’s ok to be shy and everything is going to work out fine.
I would love to tell you… you will find that right person who will love you for who you are… and you don’t need to change a thing about yourself.
But I would be lying if I did.
The truth is…
You will never reach your potential and get everything you deserve in life – if you get caught in that loop of being shy and introverted.
And I completely understand what you are feeling.
I was the same way.
I was so afraid.
So afraid to step out of my house. So afraid to speak up in front of others. So afraid to express to others what “I” am thinking… what “I” wanted to do.
But that path just led to a world of misery and I turned out as this completely weird, socially awkward dude at the age of 28 – having no clue how to talk to girls.
It wasn’t until I decided that I’m going to completely transform… not improve… but completely “transform” myself – that my life finally started heading toward the right direction.
I just want you to realize that it is possible to change – but only for those who are willing to pour blood, sweat, and tears into that brutal process of transformation.
With that out of the way, let’s dive into some practical tips what you can do to turn into a confident man.
You need to focus on “this” if you are constantly feeling shy and awkward around girls
So what is “this” that I’m talking about?
No. It’s not taking a deep slow breath.
No. It’s not consciously trying to relax your muscle as much as you can.
What you need to focus on instead is…
The girl that is in front of you.
Sounds simple enough eh?
Let me elaborate…
What do you think is the reason why you are feeling so nervous and tense around girls?
When talking to girls, your brain is probably too clouded to even process why you are feeling the way you feel.
But it comes down to this.
You are subconsciously (and/or consciously) fearing just how much the girl is probably judging you at that moment you are talking to her.
The way you are looking at her… The way your voice sounds… The way you move…
Your brain is in hyper-alert mode because you subconsciously believe the person in front of you, is noticing any and every little weird thing about you.
The only way you can break out of that is to shift your focus from inward to outward.
Let’s go back for a moment…
If you’ve suffered from chronic shyness and awkwardness, you must have surely looked up ways to alleviate your condition.
And I’m sure you’ve come across breathing deeply and relaxing your body – as a way to remedy your anxiety.
But how well did that work out for you?
You are already hyper-focusing on your bodily sensations when you are feeling anxious.
So how exactly are you going to alleviate that by focusing in on your body even further?
The best way to deal with anxiety is to simply snap yourself out of it – by shifting your entire focus to the other person.
A similar technique is also heavily utilized in Meisner teaching – a legendary actor coach – for celebrity actors who are crippled with anxiety in front of a camera.
Having suffered from extreme social anxiety for most of my life, this is pretty much THE most effective I’ve found to reduce anxiety.
It is possible you may have tried this in the past and you feel like it didn’t quite do the trick for you.
If that’s the case, let me ask you this.
How long did you stick with it…?
As with anything you want to improve, you need to engage in daily practice and constantly work on it to even maintain.
The mind is just like a muscle
Just because you reached a point where you are happy with how you feel – does not mean you can completely stop working on your mind and expect to sustain your progress.
It really is a never-ending process.
To sum up…
Anytime you feel your anxiety crippling up, simply make the best effort to focus on the person you are talking to.
You will gradually get consistent over time and eventually, you will feel at peace more times than not when you are in social situations.
This is more of a quick fix but you can also…
Talk to shy girls for the time being
As I always say, people generally like others who are operating on a similar wavelength.
Shy and awkward girls will be a lot more forgiving to your shy and awkwardness.
On the other hand, a super confident girl’s vagina will dry up faster than the Sahara desert – if you show any type of social “weirdness”.
A shy girl will often just appreciate the fact that you are putting any sort of effort to keep the conversation going… and may even secretly cheer for you to do well.
Because she totally understands how terrifying it can be to muster up the courage to talk to another person.
What is ultimately most important is your willingness to step out of your comfort zone – even if you don’t feel like doing so.
I want to finish this article by telling you the story that happened to me the other day.
I was at the gym the other day and there was this guy just standing there in the middle of the gym, waiting for others to finish with the squat rack.
The guy literally just stood there for twenty minutes, although he could’ve easily asked others how many more sets they have left.
Instead, he decided to just stand there waiting for his turn.
Meanwhile, some other guy entered the gym and came up to my squat rack, and asked how many sets I have left.
I told him I just have one set left and this guy took over my squat rack when other dude had been waiting for twenty minutes (He was just standing far away in the corner waiting…).
The truth is…
Life is a lot like that.
If you just stand there and wait then someone else will come over and take your spot.
So, you have to go after what you want if you want to get everything that you deserve in life.
Anyway, that’s it for today.
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Till next time.