How To Talk To A Girl On The Phone

Knowing how to talk to a girl on the phone can be one of the greatest strengths you can possess for attracting girls.

It is an especially valuable skill in this day and age since so few people know how to have a proper conversation over the phone, thanks to nearly everyone using a social media messenger to communicate with one another.

But, as with anything else in life, you want to do things a little differently if you want to stand out from the crowd and win the game of (dating) life.

And if that isn’t enough reason for you, it is a lot easier to influence someone over the phone (using your voice and words) than just written words alone.

So, if your goal is to ask her out on a date, you would have a much better success rate by asking her out over the phone (in-person is still the best) rather than doing it over text messages.

But, there are a few crucially important principles you need to keep in mind if you don’t want to mess up your chance over the phone.

The good news is, you won’t ever have to worry about what to say over the phone once you finish reading this article.

Make sure you don’t miss the sixth point since it is the most vital piece of information for getting the most out of your call with girls.

1. Focus on your vocal tonality

Your body language and your vocal tonality are much more important than the words you speak when you communicate with a girl.

But, when you are on the phone with a girl, she cannot see your body language, although you can paint a picture in her head of how you are carrying yourself with the way you speak to her on the phone.

So, it is crucially important that your tonality is on point because she will form 100% of judgment about you from the way you speak.

If you speak with a monotone voice, and you sound like you lack enthusiasm, then she is going to picture you looking depressed (which is never attractive to women).

On the other hand, if you are energetic and you sound sharp, then she is likely going to feel positive toward you.

If you cultivate the ability to convey your energy over the phone, then you won’t ever worry about which words to say to a girl (because you will have realized how little what you say matters when your energy is good).

2. Be slightly higher energy than the girl

Generally speaking, we are more drawn to a person with a higher energy level than us.

But, there is a caveat.

Your energy can’t be “too much” higher than the girl.

When a girl speaks with very low energy, but you talk to her as if you are speaking to a person at a super loud club, then that is a great way to break rapport with her.

People (and girls) are repelled by others who are operating at a completely different energy level than them.

You might think you are not being yourself (or even bringing your value down) by accommodating your energy level to another person, but I don’t agree with that notion.

You are simply being understanding and empathetic toward what the other person is experiencing.

Would you say a grown man is lowering his value when he tries to speak to an upset child with a soft voice to calm her down?

No, he is simply being a mature adult by looking after a child.

The same idea applies when it comes to communicating with a girl.

You are actually being a man of a higher value by helping a girl feel more at ease with your ability to relate to her.

Once again, it is important you maintain slightly higher energy than a girl to keep her engaged.

But, don’t be overbearing with it!

3. Don’t filter what you say

If you are like most other men, you probably worry that you may run out of things to say when you are on the phone with a girl.

Silence over the phone can feel like an eternity, so you are justified to have such fear.

So, how can you prevent yourself from getting stuck in a conversation?

The truth is, your brain is always filled with some things to say.

You don’t believe me? Close your eyes and try meditating for just 10 minutes, and see if you can keep your mind clear of any thoughts.

You’d be lucky if you can keep your brain clear of thoughts for more than 10 seconds.

This also means that if you can train yourself to verbalize those thoughts that pop up into your brain, then you should theoretically never run out of things to say.

So, why is it that you struggle to verbalize those thoughts?

It is because you are so afraid of her judgment.

You are so scared that if you talk about a massive poop that your puppy took last night, then she will think you are a weirdo.

But, do you remember how we talked about it’s not the words but the energy that matters the most?s

If your energy is on point, then whatever you say is going to sound awesome (even if you are talking about your puppy’s poop).

I do need to point out, however, that there are men who are operating on such a low level of consciousness that their brain literally can’t think of anything but only toxic and petty thoughts.

I hope you don’t fall into that category, but this is how you re-wire your brain if your brain struggles to come up with cool things to say.

You usually think about whatever information that you feed your brain throughout the day.

If all you do throughout the day is to scroll through your social media feeds and read about a bunch of gibberish, then it is unlikely you will have a lot of awesome things to say when you are talking to a girl on the phone.

But, if you are constantly learning new things and exposing yourself to new and awesome experiences, you will naturally bring those up when you are having a conversation with a girl.

So, if you really want to become the best conversationalist that you possibly can be, then it would be a good idea for you to feed your brain with information that would enhance your life.

4. Don’t talk too fast

If you have a tendency to talk fast (especially when you get nervous), then you want to put some conscious effort into slowing down the speed at which you talk when you are on the phone with a girl.

It can sometimes be difficult for the other person to understand you over the phone, and it is only going to make it worse if you are a fast talker.

If something takes a lot of effort for her brain to comprehend, then she will shut off her brain.

Part of being a great communicator is being aware of this pitfall of the brain and making it as easy as possible for a girl to understand you, so she can enjoy the conversation with no resistance.

Fast-talking can also indicate to a girl that you believe she is not going to want to stick around and listen to you.

You want to assume that she is interested and slow down your speech.

It will communicate that you are secure in yourself and that you are not paranoid about others possibly ignoring you.

5. Don’t say something stupid

Need I say more?

Some things are better left unsaid over the phone.

It may sound a little contradictory to what we had discussed earlier about how it is not what you say but the energy you convey that matters.

I still stand by that statement, but there are certain things you can say that will make her feel worse or bring your value down in her eyes.

Here are some of the things I want you to stay away from talking about…

  • Any form of direct bragging. There are ways you can communicate your value via storytelling without coming off as try-hard, but it’s generally best to avoid talking highly of yourself in a direct manner. Even when you do manage to attract girls that way, you will be attracting the wrong type of girls.
  • Any form of direct insults. Telling her that she is stupid is not going to make her want to continue talking to you more. If your energy is very playful, then you can somewhat “get away” with direct insults, but there are much better ways to spice up a conversation than insulting a girl.

These all should sound like common sense if you are a socially well-adjusted human being.

But, if you make any of these aforementioned mistakes in your interaction with girls, then I suggest you really put some effort into practicing basic social skill by reading books (and implementing tips from the book), such as, “How to win friends and influence people”.

6. Know what you want to get out of a conversation

While you don’t want to obsess over getting a certain outcome “during” a conversation, you do want to enter a conversation knowing exactly what your desired outcome is “beforehand”.

Otherwise, there is a good chance you would be wasting a lot of your time engaging in a meaningless conversation.

When we are left to our own devices without a clear direction, we tend to become inefficient at managing our times.

When you enter a conversation with a clear purpose, a girl will get a sense that you know exactly what you want and that, in itself, can make her feel a stronger attraction toward you.

Most women absolutely hate men who dabble around and can’t lead because they don’t know what they want.

So, ask yourself some of these questions before you get on the phone with her.

Are you calling her because you want to ask her out on a date?

Maybe, you just want to brighten her day.

Or, you may want to clear some misunderstanding you guys had in person.

Whatever it is that you want, be very clear on that!

7. Don’t call her during busy hours

Don’t call her when there is a high likelihood she may be at school or work, and you obviously do not want to call her at 3 in the morning when she is likely asleep.

Let me tell you the reason why you don’t want to call her during busy hours apart from a higher chance of her not answering the call.

When she doesn’t answer your call initially, you are going to have to call her again later (unless she returns your call which you can’t rely on).

The more you call her without her picking up, the more your value is going to diminish.

You have probably noticed I talk a lot about values throughout this article, and you may even think it’s stupid to obsess over values (because human interaction should just strictly be about connecting with each other in a genuine way, right…? Wrong).

Whether you like to acknowledge it or not, how a girl perceives you makes a huge difference in her decision to see you again.

This is especially true when it comes to an attractive girl who has a lot of options.

The moment she feels you are a needy, desperate lower status male is the moment she is going to start looking for an alternative option.

So, you do want to pay extra attention to how each one of your actions adds to or subtracts from your perceived value especially when the girl doesn’t know you well enough yet.

Once you’ve spent enough time with a girl and she sees you as a cool dude, then there is more leeway even if you were to make mistakes.

Anyway, I advise you to call her during the evening for these reasons.

8. Make sure your environment is free of distraction

Eliminate all of the distractions in the environment when you are all about to call a girl on the phone.

Make sure there is no loud music or someone that may interrupt you while you are on the phone.

This one call you are about to make may very well be your last opportunity to talk to this girl on the phone.

While I don’t want you to put heavy pressure on yourself by thinking that you can’t afford to mess up, I do want you to do everything you can to stack the odds in your favor.

If you are going to put your time and effort into calling her, then you may as well make it count.

Close your room door.

Make yourself feel comfortable (lean against your chair or lay on your bed) so you don’t sound so uptight over the phone.

And dial her phone number.

9. End the conversation at a high point

I firmly believe in the power of the “last” impression.

If you look at how our memory works, our brain tends to remember the first and the last moment of whatever we experience most vividly.

And that is why your first impression is so crucial.

But, your last impression is just as important as your first.

You want to end the conversation on a high note, so she craves for more, rather than unnecessarily dragging out a conversation to the point that she just wants to get rid of you.

Focus on quality over the duration of the interaction, and you will notice your success rate will skyrocket.

Anyway, you have now got all of the tools you need to successfully talk to a girl on the phone.

I wish you the best of luck!

About the Author Jon Go

I was Introduced to the world of seduction after being a virgin for the first 26 years of life and being dumped by my first girlfriend at the age of 28. The dating world wasn't so kind to a 28-year-old Asian man who barely had any experience with girls. But, I eventually cracked the "code" and began "attracting" two to three new girls a week on average when I was actively going out. I'm not mentioning that to impress you but to impress upon you that you can take your dating life to the next level... IF you are equipped with the right knowledge and a desire to take massive action.