How many times have you seen a shy man with a cute girlfriend?
I don’t know about you, but I’ve seen it a lot.
A shy man (but not too awkward) is usually good at making a girl feel comfortable around him.
Many women may feel attraction toward a confident man, but his confidence can be a little overwhelming for a lot of women to handle.
So, if a girl happens to be on the shy side, she will often prefer a man who is also on the shy side.
Like attracts like.
What does this mean if you are shy?
It means you don’t necessarily have to wait until your confidence level is at 100% for you to approach a girl and ask her out.
All I want you to realize is that your game and confidence do not have to be on point for you to have success with women.
So, do yourself a favor, and do not use your lack of confidence as an excuse to not take action.
Don’t chase validation
This is one of the core reasons why you feel shy and awkward around women.
You simply care way too much.
You care what she thinks about your appearance.
You care what she thinks about the way you talk or the way you look at her.
You just care way too much about her opinion about you in general.
And it is this extreme need for a girl’s validation that will drive her away from you.
Girls don’t want a man who is obsessed with her approval.
They want a man who is secure of himself.
So, how do you become a man who stops chasing a woman’s validation?
You want to do both internal and external work to accomplish this.
One way to free yourself from a girl’s validation is to not make girls as your primary source of validation in your life.
A lot of men (especially the ones in the pick-up community) don’t have any real passion or hobbies.
All they do with their life is to chase women around like a little puppy.
The side effect of this is that their entire life revolves around chasing women.
If their life is filled with dates and beautiful women, then they experience a temporary high.
If they get rejected by women or go on a long dry-spell, their depression kicks in.
So, it is imperative you find things that bring joy to your life apart from sticking your private part in a woman’s private part.
This can be playing sports, lifting weights, hanging out with good friends, etc.
It is fine if you initially take up a hobby because you believe it will help attract girls, but you want to quickly transition out of that mindset, and learn how to find the joy from immersing yourself in the activity itself.
As you fill your life up with different activities that bring happiness and fulfillment, your emotional well-being will no longer be so reliant on women’s validation.
You will have multiple sources of validation instead of just one.
So, go out and try different things.
You will discover your passion by ‘doing’ rather than sitting in your room alone and ‘thinking’.
While external work yields the quickest return on investment, it is not quite complete without the internal work.
I recommend meditation as a way to work on your inner self.
I suffered from severe anxiety growing up, and it wasn’t until I started meditating daily that I really started to notice a difference in how I feel as I went about my day.
Meditation brings your awareness to the present moment.
Think about how anxiety or shyness arises.
Your anxiety kicks in when you worry about the future or dwell over your past.
The more you practice bringing your awareness to the present moment, the better you will be able to fight off your anxiety.
And the less anxious you feel around others, the less shy and the more natural you will carry yourself.
If you haven’t meditated before, simply sit down with your back resting against your seat and close your eyes.
Stay there for 20 minutes.
You will feel the urge to get up just after a few minutes, but don’t cave in to that temptation.
Become the observer of your thoughts without judgment and let your thoughts pass.
I was Introduced to the world of seduction after being a virgin for the first 26 years of life and being dumped by my first girlfriend at the age of 28. The dating world wasn't so kind to a 28-year-old Asian man who barely had any experience with girls. But, I eventually cracked the "code" and began "attracting" two to three new girls a week on average when I was actively going out. I'm not mentioning that to impress you but to impress upon you that you can take your dating life to the next level... IF you are equipped with the right knowledge and a desire to take massive action.
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