How To Stop Being A Needy Guy

The fact you are taking a step toward becoming less needy already puts you miles ahead of many other men.

Most men blindly live their life without being aware of their neediness because they never take the time to reflect back on their behaviors (and what causes those behaviors).

But, you are clearly aware of your own problems if you are reading this article.

And that is great news since you first need to become aware of your problems before you can make any significant changes in your behaviors.

Once you’ve finished reading this article, you will know exactly what things you need to implement in your life to eradicate your neediness once and for all.

The 5th point we discuss in this article is what made the biggest difference for me personally, so do not miss it!

1. Get hobbies

One of the main reasons why a lot of men are needy is because they don’t have any hobbies.

If your entire life revolves around a woman you are seeing, then it is no wonder you feel needy when she is not around.

When your girl becomes your only source of validation, your entire happiness is going to be dependent on her.

If she treats you well, you are going to feel great.

But, if she ignores you, your entire day will be ruined.

The quality of your life suffers greatly when your emotional well-being is so easily influenced by people (or even worse, just one person) around you.

You want to fill your life up with activities that bring you joy, so you don’t have to rely on the validation of others for you to feel elated.

I made a mistake of quitting all of my hobbies once I started going out with my first girlfriend.

I figured why bother doing anything else when it’s so much better to just hang out with my girlfriend.

But, that was just my brain playing tricks on me, and I ended up having to pay the price when things didn’t turn out so well with my girlfriend.

Soon, I was spending all of my free time with my girlfriend.

And I would feel down any time she had to leave to do something on her own.

It is a quite pathetic feeling to experience, but that is often what happens when you and your girlfriend’s life blend together to become one.

So, do not make a mistake of stopping what you enjoyed doing just because you started seeing a girl.

If you don’t have any hobbies, then go out and try a whole bunch of different things and find something that you enjoy the most.

It can really be anything, such as lifting at the gym, reading a book, or surfing at the beach.

It just has to be an activity you are passionate about, and something that allows you to make continual progress (since progress is what brings joy and fulfillment for most people).

2. Have more options in your life

I have honestly found this to be one of the best ways to eradicate your neediness.

It is quite hard to feel needy when you are texting five different girls at once.

I obviously do not recommend you do this if you are in a monogamous relationship.

Cheating on your girlfriend and breaking her trust is not the right way to eliminate your neediness.

But, by all means, talk to a whole bunch of girls if you are not in a serious relationship.

You are not going to obsess over one girl not texting you back when there are four other girls wanting to see you.

While I advise you to not cheat in a relationship (because why get into a relationship if you are going to cheat?), I would still urge you to talk to other girls in a relationship.

You still want to put effort into expanding your social circle and meeting other attractive girls.

That will make your girl value you more and feel a stronger attraction toward you because she will realize you have plenty of other options.

So, go out and talk to girls and add them to your social media account, and invite them out to parties.

3. Do not neglect your friends

How many times have you seen a man get into a relationship, and he starts ignoring all of his friends?

He no longer cares about spending his time with others apart from his girlfriend.

Why would he?

Getting your private part wet feels so much better than talking to your friends after all, right?

Well, not really.

When you are in that honeymoon phase, you feel as if things are going to last forever, and you need nothing else in your life other than her.

I made the same mistake of cutting off all of my friends when I entered into my first relationship.

I blatantly ignored them to the point that they eventually didn’t want to have anything to do with me.

As a result, I got attached more and more to my girlfriend since I had no one else to spend time with.

And guess how a girl feels when you become needier?

She starts losing attraction for you.

You are no longer the same cool guy she knew when she first met you.

You’ve turned into this little boy who has become emotionally dependent on each and every one of her behavior.

And more often than not, the girl will want to eventually break up with you.

Who then are you left with?

No one.

You’ve let your family and friends know they are not that important to you when you started ignoring them after you began to date a girl.

So, continue to maintain a good relationship with your family and friends even while you are in a relationship.

Not only will it help you to not become so emotionally attached to your girl, but they are the ones who will be there for you when you are going through a heartache from a breakup.

4. Practice meditation

So, why is meditation so beneficial, and how can it help you stop being so needy?

Think about the entire purpose of meditation.

It is to train your mind to become more present and take your mind off of past and future concerns.

How does your neediness arise?

You often feel needy when your brain starts to obsess over what the other person has done in the past, or what she may do in the future (instead of being present to what is right in front of you).

These are the type of thoughts that may run through your head when you feel needy…

“She might cheat on me if she goes to that party.”

“What if she talks to Chad who is taller and way better looking than me at a party tonight?”

“Why did she not call me yesterday night? What was she doing?”

Do you notice how all of these thoughts are concerned with things that happened or may happen in the future?

Meditation helps to direct your awareness to the present moment.

Things that are in front of you right now at this exact moment.

What you can smell with your nose right now.

The person who is there with you right now at this moment.

If you are truly in the present moment, then it is simply not possible for you to feel needy.

So, what is the best way to meditate?

A lot of people over-complicate this process, but here is my suggestion.

Sit down and close your eyes. Keep your back nice and straight (but don’t tense to maintain position. Make sure you feel relaxed).

And simply focus on your breathing.

Sit there for 15~20 minutes.

When you first start meditating, your mind is inevitably going to wander, and you will be surprised at just how hard it is to clear your mind.

Don’t worry, this is completely normal.

What you do not want to do, however, is to beat yourself up over not being able to clear your thoughts and try to force yourself to not think about anything.

Don’t try to force anything. The more you resist, the more it will persist.

Simply “notice” that your brain is engaging in these thoughts and let them run their “course”.

When you simply become the “observer” of your thoughts, you will notice that they pass a lot sooner than if you were to resist them.

5. Do not try to control what you can’t

Think about the things you tend to worry about if you are needy.

“What if my girl cheats on me while she’s out partying with her friends?”

“What if she finds other men more attractive?”

“What if she flirts with another man at a club?”

And guess what you can do to prevent your girl from engaging in these activities or thoughts?

Nothing.

If she really wants to cheat, she’s going to cheat no matter how hard you try to stop her.

If she likes another man, she’s going to like another man.

There are all things that are completely out of your control.

The only things that are fully within your control are your own behaviors.

All you can do is to strive to become the best version of yourself.

The more you waste your energy trying to control other’s behaviors, the less energy you are going to have for improving yourself.

The sooner you free yourself from trying to control what others do, the happier (and less needy) you will be.

And your lack of neediness will often draw people more toward you.

6. Quit your needy behaviors cold turkey

Don’t take it one step at a time when it comes to cutting out your needy behaviors.

Go cold turkey.

There is no such thing as “I’ll just check out her social media account one time, and I will stop”.

You need to make a commitment to stop any and all of your needy behaviors altogether.

When you let one of your needy behaviors slip by, it will often give rise to another needy behavior.

And before you realize, you will have been mindlessly stalking her social media account for hours.

You need to commit to not asking her all of the time what she is up to, not asking her every few hours who she is with, and not questioning her commitments every time she is not with you.

There is a good chance your brain is “addicted” to being needy at this moment.

You need to cease all of your compulsive needy behaviors and replace them with something more productive, such as reading, exercising, and hanging out with a good group of friends.

You do not want to try to “stop” your addiction. You want to “replace” it with a healthier addiction.

In my life, I’ve suffered from a lot of addictions, and I never managed to cure my addiction by simply trying to cease my addictive behaviors.

The only solution was to re-direct my energy to another activity that is not so destructive to my mental and physical well-being.

You are now equipped with all of the necessary knowledge you need to eradicate your neediness.

But, are you willing to implement them into your life?

About the Author Jon Go

I was Introduced to the world of seduction after being a virgin for the first 26 years of life and being dumped by my first girlfriend at the age of 28. The dating world wasn't so kind to a 28-year-old Asian man who barely had any experience with girls. But, I eventually cracked the "code" and began "attracting" two to three new girls a week on average when I was actively going out. I'm not mentioning that to impress you but to impress upon you that you can take your dating life to the next level... IF you are equipped with the right knowledge and a desire to take massive action.

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