There is no glory in being an awkward man.
If you are a girl, people may think it is kind of cute that you act awkward.
If you are a man, however, you are expected to approach and talk to girls confidently.
And when you can’t do that, you will lose your status around your friends and girls.
So, let’s talk about how you can eradicate your awkwardness for good.
1. Stop watching adult videos and misogynistic materials
One of the most common problems with socially awkward guys is that they have this idea about women that are based on what they heard from others or read on the internet.
The internet can especially be problematic because you most likely spend a lot of alone time looking “things” up on the internet if you are an awkward guy.
How do I know this? That was exactly me just a few years ago.
My brain was filled with these wrong ideas about what a woman is really like, from years of watching adult videos and reading about materials that were filled with exaggerated facts about women.
Once you start exposing yourself to that type of information without having real-life experience with women, it is incredibly easy for your brain to view women in a biased way.
If you start talking to a girl with that sort of biases already embedded into your brain, is it really a surprise that your interactions with girls do not go smoothly?
So, if you are lacking the experience with women, I want you to erase all of the BS you have been reading about women on the internet, and go out and find out for yourself what girls really are like.
Stop watching adult videos and stop “reading” about girls (although this can be beneficial if you do this on top of meeting women in real life as we will shortly discuss).
You will only make yourself even more anxious when you fill your brain up with these crap information.
Go out and talk to girls with a blank state of mind, and form your own judgment.
I promise it will help you reduce your awkwardness around girls once you adopt this mindset.
2. Develop self-confidence (not in a way you think)
You have probably heard millions of times how it is important to be confident to attract girls.
And I can tell you that certainly is true.
When you feel good about yourself, you carry yourself differently, and girls will take a note of that.
But, how exactly do you develop that radiating confidence?
There are different types of advice, such as faking it until you make it or positive thinking.
But, the best way I have found to develop your confidence is by keeping promises you make to yourself.
Here’s what I mean by that.
When you decide you are going to wake up at 6 in the morning, then you wake up at 6.
When you decide you are going to work out, then you start working out.
When you decide you are going to start reading more books, then you read more books.
When you actually do what you say you are going to do, you will start to develop the type of core confidence that is independent of what others think of you.
And that is precisely the type of confidence you want to develop.
Most men possess what you would call “situational confidence”.
They feel confident when they are in an environment where they are comfortable with.
A man that goes to the gym may feel confident when he is lifting, but he may feel insecure when he is giving a public speech.
If you want lasting, unwavering confidence that is rooted in a solid foundation, this is exactly how you develop that.
So, the next time you make a vow to yourself that you are going to do something, follow through with it.
3. Make female friends
Another great way to overcome your awkwardness is to make friends with girls with no intention of attracting them.
Yes, I am telling you to intentionally friend-zone girls.
You need to learn how to stay relaxed around girls if you want to have a shot at attracting them.
In fact, many girls will get with a man they are not even “that” attracted to if he knows how to make them feel comfortable enough around them.
The best way to gain as much exposure as you possibly can with girls (which is what you need to get good with women) is to become friends with them.
Talk to girls during your school or work break.
Go on a hike with girls.
Even go shopping with them.
As you spend more time with girls, you will stop viewing them as these mythical creatures.
When you talk to girls without any hidden agenda, you will learn how to interact with them with no outcome in your mind.
It is important to cultivate that lack of neediness if you want to become an attractive man.
4. Get to know girls on a deeper level
I still didn’t feel like I was good with girls even after I had been with a few dozens of girls.
My dating life was good because I was approaching a lot, and I always made sure to lead the interaction without fearing the rejection.
But, it felt like I was always strictly relying on a numbers game (although it largely is a numbers game even when you become really good with girls).
It wasn’t until I delved deeper into learning about the female psychology that I felt confident in how a girl actually feels and thinks under different situations.
If you are trying to attract girls without having a basic understanding of what type of thoughts govern their head, it would be equivalent to a marketer trying to sell his product without having a clue what his potential customers want.
You can only effectively fulfill their deepest desires when you know how to read and understand them.
For this reason, I encourage you to read a lot of different articles and books on where the female authors genuinely express her thoughts and feelings about her concerns and desires.
As you read more of these books, you will start to see patterns, and you will become a lot more effective at reading girls which will help greatly to attract them.
5. Study men who are good with girls
If you are awkward and you struggle to talk to girls, then whatever you have been doing clearly has not been working.
This means you need to change your pattern of behaviors if you want to improve your dating life.
But, how do you know what type of behaviors you should adopt?
How do you even know what sort of behaviors are attractive or unattractive to girls?
And that is precisely why you need to take a closer look at men who are doing well with women.
This can be your cool uncle or your natural friends.
Observe their behaviors and see how they talk and act around women.
How do they look at girls?
What type of jokes do they make when they are talking to girls?
What is their voice tone like when interacting with women?
You want to analyze their behaviors and try it yourself to see if it fits your personality.
And there is going to be a lot of resistance to doing this because we all naturally fear changes.
You will be tempted to “just be yourself” as many self-gurus would advise you to be.
But, you need to accept that what you have been doing so far has given you sub-optimal results and things won’t change unless YOU change.
And trust me when I say this (as someone who turned his life around from being a virgin at 26 years old to attracting 2-3 new girls on a weekly basis)
You CAN change if you want it badly enough.
6. Get good with people (not just girls)
So, how does being good with people in general help you become good with girls?
Contrary to what some may believe, you want to talk to girls as if you are talking to your friends (for the most part).
How you would have a great interaction with friends is exactly the same way you would have a great interaction with girls
You accomplish that by knowing how to be playful without taking things too seriously.
Everyone, include men and women, wants to feel great and have more fun.
So, it only makes sense that if you get good with men and women of all ages, then that will naturally translate over to how you interact with girls you are attracted to.
You also need to remember that girls will actually see you talk to other people when you guys are hanging out.
If you appear weird and awkward when you talk to others, she will realize you were just putting up a façade when you were talking to her.
On the other hand, if you command respect from others while she’s with you, her attraction toward you will increase even further.
7. Face your fears
As a final note, everything else means nothing if you are not willing to step up and face your fears.
You simply have to make up in your mind that you will do whatever it takes to get good with girls.
If it means going out and getting brutally rejected by twenty girls in a row, so you can finally figure out how to talk to girls, then so be it.
When I broke up with my first girlfriend and decided to transform my dating life, I thought about how I would feel at the age of 80 when I look back on my life.
I pictured myself being alone and miserable reflecting back on my younger years, and how I’d wish I had cared less.
I did not want that to be me.
I knew that was going to be my reality if I didn’t do something to change my personality.
When I felt that sense of urgency, it fueled me to take massive action to improve myself.
So, I want you to do the same, and really delve deep into that pain you’d experience if you fail to change.
It will serve as the best fuel for you to keep pushing forward during rough times.