Okay… I get it. It’s not all about sex and connection is just as important.
But let’s be real. If you fail to “release” as a man on a regular basis, it’s going to build up and explode in one form or another.
So let’s talk about how you can become a man that women deem as sex worthy instead of ending up as her little shopping buddy.
Let her know you have a penis to sexually arouse her
No. I don’t mean you should tell her, “I want to bend you over right now and penetrate you deep from behind.” (Although that can certainly work on some girls depending on where and when you say it…).
But she has to know you have a sexual urge in one way or another.
One way to accomplish this is to tell her a story about the time you had crazy, wild sex.
But you obviously do not want to start talking about sex out of nowhere when she does not even feel comfortable around you.
What I personally like to do is to slowly progress in the “intensity” (about the topics we talk about) during a conversation.
For example, I might start out by asking her, what is the most spontaneous thing she’s done in her life.
Then, I might ask her about the craziest thing she’s done in the most recent past.
More often than not, the girl will ask the same question back to you.
And that is a perfect opportunity for you to transition into talking about your crazy sexual adventure. This allows her to feel comfortable hearing and talking about sex in front of you which is always a good thing.
Let me give you one more tip on how you can seamlessly transition into this.
When she urges you to talk about your crazy adventure, tell her you are reluctant to say it because most girls are judgmental and you feel like she would judge you for it.
Every single time I say this, the girl tells me she would never judge me and encourages me to tell my story.
But the point is not whether she judges you or not. It is the fact she is the one who encouraged you to speak up.
Now, she subconsciously feels obligated to listen to whatever that comes out of your mouth without judgment since that is exactly what she had promised to do.
This means her brain will steer away from labeling you as a creep no matter how weird your story is.
This is also a great way to sexualize a conversation. And it works even better if you’ve already “sort of” been having a sexual conversation with her but you want to take it one step further.
Let me tell you a story to illustrate how I used this principle in practice.
I was hanging out with this cute blonde girl at her place for our first date (I convinced her to hang out at hers by calling her on the phone).
We were splitting a bottle of wine and I could see her feeling more and more comfortable with me.
As our conversation progressed, we started talking about one night stands and casual hookups.
But I wanted to take it one step further.
And this is the way I went about it.
I told her I randomly came across this one article on the internet the other day. And the article listed some of the most common female sexual fantasies.
And to my surprise (Well… I wasn’t really surprised, to be honest), the most common sexual fantasy among female was to have very rough sex with strangers.
When I told her this, she told me she does not find that appealing at all because she has been sexually abused before.
And although my initial intention was just to sexualize a conversation further, I also picked up valuable information about what she does not like (which obviously came in handy later on…).
What is great about this approach is that you are sexualizing a conversation by talking about what you “randomly” heard or read.
So even if you talk about something that may potentially seem weird, it is not really “you” who is responsible for it. You are simply relaying the information you have accidentally come across.
Now, we are getting into something that is a little more direct.
I have discussed this in my past articles so I won’t go into too much detail but this is one of my favorite ways to sexualize a conversation by far.
The idea behind it is you interpret whatever she does or says as her hitting on you. And you let her know by verbalizing it.
Sexual misinterpretation is great because it accomplishes several different things at once.
1. You sexualize your interaction which is always great unless you enjoy getting friend-zoned.
2. It is hilarious and your interaction becomes a lot more playful. Why? Because it is supposed to be men who are desperate for sex (at least that is what a lot of men are led to believe thanks to social conditioning). When you accuse her of desiring you physically, it almost seems ridiculous at first which makes it funny.
3. You are essentially communicating to her that you “get” it. You understand that girls are just as sexual as men. This also indirectly implies that you are probably good in bed (whether it is true or not…)
4. You flip the script. One of the most common problems I see among guys is that they are always playing the “chasing” game. Your interaction always feels like you are pushing to get a girl to like you, pushing to get her number, and pushing to meet up with her. This is incredibly draining and leaves a bad taste in your mouth even when you “succeed”. By accusing HER of hitting on you, you successfully frame the interaction as her being the one to pursue you instead of the other way around.
So far, we have talked about ways to sexualize a conversation so she knows you are a real man with a penis.
But how can you get her turned on so she specifically wants to have sex with YOU instead of calling one of her “love buddies” to fulfill her desire?
That is exactly what we are going to discuss in the next section.
Your behaviors are what turns her on
Unless you were blessed with great genetics, you most likely have average looks just like the 90% of the population.
A lot of so-called involuntary celibates blame their lack of genetic giftedness as the reason why they can’t find a girl who is sexually interested in them.
While I am not refuting that some people have a condition that poses a real challenge to their dating lives, this doesn’t apply for most from what I have seen during my years of going out.
Most men who fail to attract girls are simply using their lack of desirable physical traits as an excuse to stay idle.
If you are one of the few badass men who refuse to let your genetic shortcomings stop you from going after what you want, then this section will guide you in the right direction.
Make her think about sex from the way you carry yourself
Ask yourself this question and see if you can answer it honestly.
And it may be a tough question to answer for some who lacks awareness.
Do you think you would want to have sex with yourself if you were a girl?
If you couldn’t answer that question with a confident, “YES”!
Then, you’ve got a bigger problem than whatever genetic limitation you think that are holding you back.
If you deviate from anything other than a 6’3, 200lb, tall, muscular white dude, then your goal should be to become the guy who exudes sexual energy.
You basically want to become a guy version of a girl, that you can’t really put it into words why (because she’s not hot by societal standard), but you just want to do naughty things to her.
And here’s how…
Use your eyes to arouse her
Your eyes are a wonderful tool when it comes to arousing her.
But it can also completely kill attraction if you don’t know how to use them.
If you can’t maintain eye contact and your eyes move all over the place when talking to her, how can she possibly imagine being physically intimate with you?
Remember this because it will be a consistent point I emphasize throughout the remainder of this article.
How would you look at her if you are about to have sex with her?
You are probably going to give her a deep, relaxed gaze. Your eyes would be glued onto her eyes. Even when you break eye contact, you would look away in a slow, controlled manner as opposed to nervous and abrupt manner.
When you maintain a deep, relaxed, and intense eye contact with her, it will build sexual tension like nothing else.
While you do not want the tension to be so high that she wants to run from you, most guys break sexual tension way too frequently.
Just remember you will be looking into her eyes as you thrust all of your 2-inches into her body. So you might as well get used to looking into her eyes now.
I want to end this section by emphasizing one more point.
One of the fundamentals of persuasion is that YOU first need to feel whatever you want the other person to feel.
If you don’t feel aroused and sexual when talking to a girl, it is unlikely she is going to feel aroused by you.
And this is why you want to feel AND act as if you are about to have hot, steamy sex with her if you want her to indulge in dirty thoughts about you.
A word of caution: As with any and everything you do to seduce her, it is very easy for you to become a try hard if you don’t strike the right balance. Too much of anything is worse than nothing.
Your voice is the key to her body
Standard dating advice would tell you to talk with an artificially deep voice because girls are attracted to a deep voice.
I don’t recommend this. It’s quite obvious when someone is “trying” to talk with a deep voice.
As we mentioned earlier, any form of tryhardedness will serve to repel girls as opposed to attracting them.
This is also why you don’t want to be unnecessarily talking loud as some dating coaches would advise you to do. When you do, the focus shifts to your loud voice as opposed to what you say and the girl will start to think you are an obnoxious clown. As long as she is able to clearly hear what you say, that is loud enough.
Your priority should be to focus on practicing speaking in a way that flows nicely and is easy on the ears.
You do not want your voice to have any unnecessary tension. You want your sentence to flow nicely from start to finish that is easy for the other person to understand.
As a general rule of thumb, it is a good idea to slow down the speed at which you talk because most guys tend to talk way too fast.
But it is not nearly as important as what many dating coaches make it out to be.
Good music that is pleasant to hear can either be fast or slow (or both). But it rarely lacks nice flow and rhythm.
It is much the same when you speak.
If all this sounds too complicated for you, just ask yourself this one question.
How would you talk to her if you were in bed with her and you were whispering naughty things into her ear?
Just imagine the above scenario and let your voice naturally flow.
Anyway, If you ever doubt the power of voice in attraction, let me give you something to think about.
Why do you think shows like American Idol tend to be a lot more popular than shows that focus on other talents such as dancing, modeling, and comedy?
Master your voice and the world will open up to you in a way you never imagined possible.
Arouse her by the way you walk?
Your posture really says a lot about you.
If you don’t stand straight, walk with a poor posture, or walk around like you are lost with no purpose, you will be fighting an uphill battle.
No matter how open-minded we try to be, we all judge others based on how they carry themselves.
So it is important you don’t make things more difficult for yourself in the game of attraction by screwing up these before you even open your mouth.
Traditional dating advice puts a lot of emphasis on keeping a good straight posture.
But the problem I see often with the way most men walk is not their slouched posture.
These are the two major issues I observe in the way most men carry themselves:
1. They lack any sort of liveliness when they walk.
2. They fail to walk with “ease”. You can tell they are not feeling comfortable in their own skin.
The issue, however, is not as simple as me telling you to be more relaxed when walking or telling you to walk with more swagger.
Because let’s be honest for a second.
You are not lacking swagger or walking with a poor posture because you want to.
You are fully aware your slouched posture makes you appear less attractive.
Why then is it so difficult for you to fix this?
It’s that subconscious thought that is running your brain, the little voice in your head that tells you, “Who do you think you are to try to proudly show yourself to the world?”
Your primary focus should be on re-programming these thoughts to a more positive narrative that will help improve your sense of self-worth.
Once that is taken care of, you will be able to adopt new habits with much less internal resistance.
But this section would not be complete without giving you some specific How-tos on how you can exude that masculine, sexual energy as you walk.
So, here you go…
1. Look straight ahead. Not up or down. Just straight ahead.
2. Don’t think about pulling your shoulders back because you will just look like a chicken. Think about proudly showing your chest to the world while keeping arms and shoulders relaxed.
3. Make sure you feel light on your feet as you walk.
4. Let your arms and shoulders naturally move as a result of keeping them relaxed.
5. And SMILE when you make eye contact.
How you should NOT carry yourself…
1. Do not move abruptly or in a rushed manner (unless you need to run to save a baby). It communicates to the girl you are probably terrible in bed.
2. Do not walk with a forward head and slouched upper back. They are a deadly combination.
3. Do not walk around while tensing all your muscle. You know one of those bodybuilding bros who look like they are flexing every ounce of their muscles as they walk? Don’t be like that.
4. Do not walk with arms out on the side (aka imaginary lat syndrome). Everyone will think you are a joke and you are not impressing anyone.
But once again, it all goes back to asking yourself this question, “Do I think a girl can imagine having sex with me from the way I walk?”
If you can honestly say yes to that question, then there is no reason to complicate things any further.
I kept How-tos relatively short because you should be spending 90% of your focus on eliminating that trauma that is preventing you from adopting a new behavior.
Try different things such as meditation, yoga, and practicing mindfulness.
Whatever activity that gets you into a more relaxed state will have a much greater impact on your self-improvement than any of the habits you “force” yourself to adopt.
Sexual arousal happens in a relaxed state for a girl. If you are relaxed, she will feel relaxed. And when she’s relaxed, she is going to feel aroused by you.
Touch her this way to make her want you sexually
Physical touch can be extremely powerful when it comes to turning a girl on.
What I’m about to tell you are some of the most proven ways to turn a girl on (based on a real-life experience of me and my friends who have a combined experience with thousands of women)
1. Make-out. People have a mixed opinion about making out with a girl. Some say it kills tension and is counter-productive which can be true. But if you do it right, it can also serve as a fuel for sexual arousal. Kiss her gently at first and don’t shove your tongue into her throat. Kiss her just enough to get her excited at the idea of having sex with you.
2. Massage. This is also a great way to turn her on. Not only does massaging turn her on by direct physical stimulation but it also relaxes her body. And we already talked about how a girl needs to feel relaxed to experience arousal.
3. Eat her out. Yes, you heard that right. This obviously applies when you are on the brink of having sex with her. If she seems to be on the fence, simply ask her if she likes it when a guy eats her out (Only if you are into that as well, of course). More than half the time, she will be down for it and she will crave for something more once she is turned on enough.
Say this to her to turn her on
Finally, one of my most favorite ways to turn a girl on and that is…
I need to warn, however, this takes more practice than a lot of the other stuff we have talked about so far.
But it is by far one of the most effective ways to turn a girl on if done right at the right time.
As we have talked about earlier in the article, girls (and people in general) are extremely sensitive to an auditory stimulus.
If you are able to paint a vivid picture in her head of you making sweet love to her, you will be surprised at just how much she gets turned on by that.
The problem is you are probably not comfortable talking dirty if you are like most guys.
You feel awkward and you may even be scared you will say something weird and the girl will laugh at you.
The solution to this is to start small.
Start out by calling her naughty names (IF she is comfortable being called that… and most girls are from my own experience).
This works just as well with girls who you have or haven’t had sex with.
While you are having a conversation with her, you can call her out for being naughty (i.e. You naughty girl).
Then, you can take it one step further…
Say you are alone with her and you guys are making out. She is slowly getting turned on. This would be a good opportunity for you to say a few dirty lines (depending on the girl, of course) to really amplify her sexual desire.
I prefer not to provide examples of the lines mostly because how you say it is just as important as what you say but let me still provide you with one example.
Say you are making out with a girl, you can tell her, “You do not want to know what I’m thinking right now…”
99% of the time, she will DEFINITELY want to know what you are thinking.
When she begs for you to say it, you can tell her, “Well, you asked for it… I was just thinking about licking your wet little pussy.”
You may think it sounds cringey on paper but you would be surprised to know just how effective this can be in practice.
At this point, you have all the knowledge you need to arouse her and make her crave for your masculine energy. It is just a matter of going out and implementing it.
I was Introduced to the world of seduction after being a virgin for the first 26 years of life and being dumped by my first girlfriend at the age of 28. The dating world wasn't so kind to a 28-year-old Asian man who barely had any experience with girls. But, I eventually cracked the "code" and began "attracting" two to three new girls a week on average when I was actively going out. I'm not mentioning that to impress you but to impress upon you that you can take your dating life to the next level... IF you are equipped with the right knowledge and a desire to take massive action.
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