You are about to discover the best ways to make a shy girl feel more comfortable around you.
Are you ready?
Let’s get started!
Communicate to her on a similar energy level
If you are naturally outgoing and extroverted, it is in your best interest to tone down your energy a little.
This doesn’t mean you should try to be a different person than who you actually are.
But, I’m sure you can agree you possess both chill and energetic sides
I simply want you to bring out more chill side of you.
So, why is this important?
It is because we are naturally attracted to people who are similar to us.
If a woman feels your personality is completely different than hers, it is likely going to repel her away from you.
I want you to take a moment to reflect back on your past interactions with other people.
Think about what type of people made you feel most comfortable?
It is likely those who had a similar personality to yours.
However, this is not an excuse for you to be boring.
It is important you keep your interaction playful and have a good, calm energy.
Just because you tone down your energy does not mean you have to make your conversation boring.
You can still crack jokes and tease her as long as you don’t appear too hyper-energetic.
Avoid being too outlandish
You do not want to be over-the-top when you are talking to a reserved girl.
Shy and awkward girls often struggle to tolerate outlandish behaviors because they are more easily overwhelmed by a man with too much personality.
Let me give you a couple of concrete examples of outlandish behaviors that are sure to repel shy girls away from you.
- You are in your class and you are unnecessarily talking overly loud to the friend who is sitting beside you.
- You are at the gym and you are grunting and yelling while lifting.
- You are out at the club or a bar and you dance like a clown to draw attention.
- You walk around with a try-hard posture while looking tense.
These are all great ways to make a shy girl (or any girl for that matter) feel disgusted.
Realize you will need to spend more time with her
You need to accept that it will take more time for a shy woman to open up compared to other girls.
You can do things to speed up that time, but the best way to make her feel comfortable around you is to simply spend more time with her.
It is much like when you are going through a break-up.
There are certain things you can do to speed up the healing process, but it is ultimately time that provides the best solution for your pain.
It is important for you to realize that things are going to feel awkward at times, and you may even feel she doesn’t like you all that much.
It is hard to avoid those awkward moments with shy girls.
But as long as you spend enough time with her, she will slowly start to open up.
The nice thing about shy girls is that it may take a long time for them to open up to you, but they won’t easily turn their back against you once they open up.
Make jokes to help her feel comfortable
One of the best ways to break the tension is to make a girl laugh.
The good news is it usually does not take much to make a shy woman laugh.
More often than not, she will appreciate the fact you are trying to help her feel more comfortable around you.
So, you are better off not obsessing over whether she is going to find your joke funny or not.
As cliché as it may be, it is the effort that matters.
The entire point of making jokes is to lighten up the mood (not necessarily to deliver the funniest jokes although that wouldn’t hurt either), so I want you to practice blurting out whatever crappy jokes you have in your head with confidence.
It is not always going to work, but it will get better over time.
Tell a story about your shy and awkward moments
I used to suffer a lot from social anxiety and general awkwardness.
Although I have become a quite confident man as a result of continually pushing my comfort zone, I have plenty of stories I can share about my anti-social moments.
And I’ve noticed it is good to share these stories with shy girls since it helps them feel a stronger connection.
When I’m with a girl, I talk about how I used to be terrified of picking up my phone to order food.
I also share stories of how my social anxiety prevented me from forming a meaningful friendship or getting into a relationship with a woman.
But, I also talk about what I did to overcome those challenges.
So, not only does a girl feel she can relate to my struggles (if she’s been shy growing up), but she also develops a certain level of respect for me due to the fact I managed to turn my weakness into a strength.
It is going to feel awkward to share your stories at first.
You may be scared of a girl judging you.
But, you need to be willing to take these ‘micro-risks’ in your interaction with girls if you want to take your relationship with a girl to the next level.
Think about what is the best outcome if you just settle for safe topics and not open up?
You may end up becoming her friend, but it is unlikely she is going to develop any special feelings for you.
On the other hand, what is the possible outcome if you open up to the girl?
There is a small chance she may judge you, but there is also a very good chance she is going to see you differently than every other guy she meets.
It is rare for a woman to come across a man who is able to express himself in an honest way, so you are going to stick out in her mind.
So, when an irrational fear creeps up before you are about to do something, I want you to always think about the potential risk versus the potential benefits.
Does the potential benefit outweigh potential risks?
Would you rather win big or save faces with nothing to show?
Answering these questions in an honest way will propel you to take the right actions.
Do not show signs that you are a lady’s man
While it can certainly be an effective strategy to show you are desired by a lot of women when interacting with a confident woman, such tactic often backfires when it comes to shy girls.
It is true that a woman likes a man that is desired by other women.
But, the problem is most shy women already do not have much confidence, to begin with.
So, if she feels you are ‘too much’ for her to handle, she may very well push you away first before she’s hurt.
For this reason, it is important you demonstrate the qualities of a man who is suited for a relationship than the qualities of a womanizer.
This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t demonstrate traits of a confident, attractive man.
It does, however, mean your attractive traits should be balanced out by ‘nice guy qualities’ that would give her confidence that you won’t turn your back against her as soon as you are bored of her.