When should you move on from your ex-girlfriend?
The truth is, you should never hang onto your ex-girlfriend if she doesn’t feel the same way about you as you feel toward her.
Nothing good ever comes out of holding onto someone who does not love you back.
So, how do you know if she is completely over you? That is what you will find out in this article.
Here are the 9 signs your ex-girlfriend is over you.
1. She does not contact you
If she stopped contacting you, then that is one of the best indicators which signals your ex-girlfriend is over you.
It will be easier for her to move on as she distances herself away from you.
This is the same reason why no contact is so effective when you are trying to move on from a girl (although, it is often recommended as a way to get a girl back).
But, there can also be a few other reasons why a girl stopped contacting you.
These are some of the possibilities.
- She is using it as a tactic to make you chase her. If you think girls don’t play games with men, then think again. Many girls are expert at manipulating men. This may especially be true if you guys had recently broken up. She is essentially waiting for you to “cave in” first before she does.
- Another possibility is she still has strong feelings for you. She “has” to block you out of her life for her to move on from you. Otherwise, she is constantly reminded of the painful memories she’s shared with you. In such a case, she obviously has not fully moved on from you.
- It is also possible she has moved on from you, and she is already dating another man. She feels no need to talk to you anymore since she has found herself a better option. As a side note, this is precisely why you need a back-up plan even while you are in a relationship. I am not saying you should cheat on your girlfriend during a relationship, but you should always have other options you can readily access if things were to go downhill with your current girlfriend. And this will actually help you sustain a happier relationship because you are not loving her from a place where you “need” her to make you happy.
So, what is the best course of action for you to take if your ex-girlfriend stops contacting you?
One thing you definitely should NOT do is to contact her repeatedly while she continues to ignore you.
She will get disgusted by you, and it will drive her even further away from you.
The best thing you can do at this point is to do exactly what she has done and cut off contact with her, not as a way to get her back, but as a way to completely move on from her.
2. She talks about other men
This is based on the assumption that you guys are still talking to each other after a break-up.
When a girl continuously talks about another man (or men), it is a sign her mind is occupied with their thoughts.
And when we constantly think about something, our brain convinces us into believing it must be important for our mind to be fixated on it.
So, there is a good chance her feeling will grow even stronger toward whoever she constantly talks about.
It is essentially a cycle that feeds off each other.
The truth is, you and your ex-girlfriend broke up for a reason. She is most likely ready to explore a new, more exciting option.
But, there is also a possibility she is doing this to make you feel jealous.
Once again, girls can be incredibly manipulative at times.
She may very well be bringing up another man in front of you to induce your jealousy.
I remember watching one of the interviews by Dan Blizerian (A popular social media influencer who became known for getting with many different girls on a regular basis).
He mentioned one of the most common reasons why a girl comes to hook up with him, despite him being a mega womanizer, is because she just went through a break-up, and she wants to piss off her ex-boyfriend.
Girls (and men as well) can often do stupid things purely to get a reaction out of another person.
In such a case, she is obviously not completely over you since she is still trying to seek your validation.
I am sure you already know the best thing to do when a girl does something stupid to piss you off.
You focus on your own life by deleting her out of your life.
An this is going to make a girl chase you more, and increase the chance she is going to want to get back with you.
But you probably would have moved on by that point, and you most likely wouldn’t even want her back by then.
This is also relevant while you are in a relationship with a girl.
You can take it as a big red flag when a girl in a relationship centers her conversation around other men.
Most men either don’t think too much of it, or they feel they have to feel perfectly okay with hearing their girlfriend talk about another man (because they don’t want to appear jealous).
Well, guess what?
The fact she constantly talks about another man shows she is thinking about him often.
So, you have all the right to be concerned when the girl you are seeing revolves her conversation around another man.
But, does that mean you should get mad at her and accuse her of cheating?
No. That will just reveal your weakness and make her think less of you.
Whenever she plays this type of game, I recommend you to let her know that you are willing to walk away at any point.
Just casually let her know you don’t want to deal with that sort of BS. There is no reason for you to get mad.
There is nothing that is quite as powerful as letting the other person know you are perfectly fine without them.
That lack of neediness draws people into you as opposed to repelling them away.
When you do this, she will realize she has not fully won you over and will become even more attached to you.
3. She only talks to you periodically
When a girl gives you a half-baked answer to your messages, you know she has likely moved on from you emotionally.
Or maybe, she answers you after a few days have passed.
That is a sure sign she does not feel a strong emotional connection toward you anymore.
It is not because she was so “busy” that she had no time to reply to your text message.
It is because you are just not her priority anymore.
There really is no reason for you to hold onto your ex-girlfriend when it gets to this point.
I see many guys throwing away their pride and dignity to hang onto a relationship when their ex-girlfriend treats them like dirt.
I have been there and done that, and it only diminishes your sense of self-worth and makes you feel insignificant.
If you still feel like you absolutely have to contact her for one last time before you let her go, then here is my suggestion.
Send a text that arouses her curiosity rather than a text that may come off as desperate and needy.
Your goal should be to get her on the phone and eventually get her to meet you in person rather than trying to make things happen over text.
Whatever you are trying to accomplish, whether it is getting back with her, or simply giving her closure, it is always better if it is done in person.
So, what text should you send to your ex-girlfriend to arouse her curiosity?
Let me provide you with one specific example so you can get a clearer idea.
“Hey, I probably shouldn’t say this, but I figured you should know…”
That’s it. Don’t say anything further until you hear back from her.
This will have such a powerful effect at arousing her curiosity that she won’t be able to help but reply back asking what it is that you want to say.
Even if she is trying to do “no contact” on you, she is most likely going to cave in and at least ask what is up.
When she replies back, you simply tell her you are out with someone at the moment, but you will call her back in a few hours.
By doing this, you are pushing her away slightly and letting her know you are not desperate to talk to her.
When you get her on the phone, make sure you don’t sound angry or bitter.
Your voice tone should sub-communicate that you are emotionally unaffected by a break-up, and you want to emit nothing but positive and playful energy.
When she asks you what it is that you wanted to say, simply say something silly like how your friend accidentally got a girl pregnant, and they are now expecting a twin.
It really does not matter what you say as long as you are able to maintain that playful, nothing-is-a-big-deal type of energy while you are on the phone with her.
When you have provided her with good enough emotion over the phone, you can just casually ask if she wants to grab some coffee in a few days as a friend.
Now, you may be wondering why you would ask her out for a coffee when you want to get back with her, and here is why.
When you tell her that you want to hang out as a friend, it will make her feel weird.
In her mind, she is the one who is supposed to friend-zone you.
By you preemptively telling her that you want to meet her as a friend, you are stripping away the opportunity for her to push you away.
Girls normally like to do things that they are not supposed to do.
When you put her in a “friend” box, she will naturally want to rebel against that by wanting to do something that friends are not supposed to do, such as being naughty with you.
4. She contacts you only when she is down
Not only does this indicate she has emotionally moved on from you, but you are practically being used as her little toy.
You may wrongly assume she is contacting you because she still misses your presence, but this is probably not the case.
More likely than not, she just contacts you because she is familiar with you, and you are convenient.
This obviously does not mean she has any more interest left for you in a romantic way.
This is what my ex-girlfriend used to do to her ex-boyfriend whenever we would get into a fight.
Whenever we would have a big fight, she would call her ex-boyfriend and use him as an emotional tampon, and to induce jealousy from me.
Her ex-boyfriend was living in another country at the time, so it was not like he could do anything with her.
But, he still wasted countless hours trying to comfort his ex-girlfriend (my girlfriend at the time) who got into a relationship with another man (aka me) as soon as he had moved to another country.
I do not want you to end up like him (nor me during my first relationship).
Your time is valuable, and a girl like that will only waste your time and slow you down from living a new, better life.
The problem with this type of girl is that she is going to constantly try to contact you in an attempt to get a hit of validation whenever she is feeling down.
Your solution is to completely go no contact with her.
Block her from everything you can possibly imagine: Your social media accounts, your phone number, and your e-mail.
Do not give her any chance to contact you.
She has already moved on from you. It is time for you to move on from her.
5. She blatantly disrespects you
When a girl shows no respect for you, it means she no longer has strong feelings for you.
A large part of the female attraction has to do with admiration and respect towards her man.
This can manifest in a lot of different ways.
Maybe, she openly puts you down in front of your friends (assuming you still hang out with your ex-girlfriend after a break-up) pretending she is just joking.
Maybe, she nonchalantly talks about how you were terrible in bed (in a casual way as opposed to “I am still emotionally attached to you, so I’m going to say things to get a reaction out of you” way).
In such a case, there really is no reason for you to endure her verbal abuse.
Whether she is putting you down in person or through text, you should completely cut her out of your life.
Why would you let your ex-girlfriend even give you an opportunity to ruin your day?
But, her disrespect toward you can also be a sign she is still emotionally attached to you
Maybe, she calls you and goes on and on about what a terrible boyfriend you were in a relationship.
Maybe, she tells all of your mutual friends about how crazy you are, in an attempt to destroy your reputation.
When she goes out of her way to get on your nerves, she probably still has some feelings for you.
One of my ex-girlfriends wanted to take a “break” for a few weeks during our relationship, and I found out later that she went out with one of my friends during the first week of our “break” (She said she’s never done anything with him physically but god knows what she has done).
Needless to say, she did this to make me mad and get a reaction out of me (apart from her desire to seek validation from another man).
When we finally broke up, and I completely blocked her out of my life, she randomly decided to add half of my male friends (who she did not know) on her social media account.
This type of nonsensical behavior showed she was still emotionally attached to me.
It was her last desperate attempt to grab my attention because she realized it really was all over.
Once again, this is precisely why you want to completely erase your ex-girlfriend out of your life when you are going through a break-up.
You do not want to give her joy of knowing that you are still emotionally attached to her.
Going no contact is the best practice even if your goal is to get back with her.
The more you contact her, the less she is going to value your attention.
If she is the one who initiated a break-up, her mind is already drifting away from you.
When you try to hold onto a girl who is pushing you away, her natural reaction is to push you away even further.
Once you go out and meet a lot of different girls with an open mind, you will soon realize she is not exactly as special as you thought, and you will stop putting her on a pedestal.
6. She does something drastic
When your ex-girlfriend makes a drastic change in her life, you know she is ready to move on from you.
This is likely a statement to herself and those around her that she is ready to move on from a break-up.
Some of the examples are making a drastic change to her appearance, such as getting a tattoo or changing her hairstyle completely. It can be traveling to a new country or taking up a new hobby.
When we want to move on from our old self to become a new version, we often do things that we normally would not have done in the past.
I advise you to do the same.
You need to get out there and explore yourself.
When you are feeling that pain from a relationship, it can often serve as a fuel for you to make a drastic improvement for yourself.
So many people try to ignore or avoid pain because they are quick to label it as something that is bad, but you need to realize it is often the best source of motivation if you know how to use it to your advantage.
Think about the last time you experienced meaningful personal growth.
It was most likely when you were experiencing a lot of pain, and you felt the need to do something to get better.
I decided to start lifting weights because I was so fed up with being fat and out of shape.
I decided to educate myself because I was disgusted by my ignorance and lack of self-awareness.
I decided to go out and talk to people to improve my social skill because I never wanted to go back to how I felt after my first break-up.
Whenever I made any sort of drastic improvement in my life, it always involved some degree of pain.
So, you want to take a moment and use this breakup as an opportunity for you to think about what area of life you always wanted to improve.
It can really be anything, such as improving your fitness, your social skills, or reading more books.
If you can’t think of anything, just pick one hobby and start doing something.
Most men use “I don’t know what I want to do” as an excuse to just sit there and stay idle.
The best way to find your passion is to get off your butt and start doing something.
Sign up for the gym to improve your body. Join a toastmaster to improve your speaking. Go to an improv class to learn how to think on your feet.
Do not waste your time trying to “figure out” what it is that you want to do.
What is most important is that you pick one and start.
You will be surprised to discover that you actually enjoy doing things you never thought you would like.
7. She posts a lot on her social media
So, what does this say anything about knowing whether your ex-girlfriend is over you or not?
This is not a difficult question to answer if you understand why people post on social media.
Why do you think people post pictures and videos of their lives on social media?
Do you think it is just to share their life with family and friends?
One of the major reasons that motivate people to post on their social media account is their need for validation from others.
They want others to acknowledge and recognize them.
So, why do you think your ex-girlfriend’s posting frequency went up since she broke up with you?
It is because she feels de-validated after a break-up.
She wants to fill that void she feels inside with the attention of other men.
And it has never been easier for a woman to get attention from men.
All she has to do is post a picture of her face or body and hundreds of desperate men will like her pictures, and they will privately message her to ask what she is up to.
I remember when I was with one of my ex-girlfriends, and every time she would post a picture of us together on her social media account, she would get messages from dozens of guys asking if she had gotten into a relationship.
It is crazy how easy it is for a girl to be swamped with validation with just a click of a button in this day and age.
This is precisely why you need to constantly talk to new girls even when you are in a relationship.
I am not recommending you to cheat by any means, but you should actively expand your options even while you are in a committed relationship.
Do you want to know why?
Because those guys that added her on her social media account as just her “friends” will be the first ones she will message to have a sexy time when you guys break up.
Think about this for a moment.
Throughout your relationship with a girl, she will get hundreds of guys wanting to be her friends on her social media accounts, and she will, of course, accept most of them as her friends because what girl doesn’t want extra likes on her pictures?
But if you were to ever confront her about it, she will just say these men sent her requests first, and she simply accepted their requests.
She will also likely accuse you of being jealous and insecure.
Let’s now change the story.
What would happen if you were to start adding a bunch of women on your social media account (since it’s usually the man that has to initiate and lead, whether it is on social media or in real life)?
She would give you a massive crap, and she will likely accuse you of cheating on her.
So, what happens if you stop expanding your female social circle, and you stop adding girls on your social media accounts because you don’t want to deal with her BS?
When you do eventually break up with your girlfriend, you will be left with no option while your girlfriend is out having fun with men who were just her “social media friends” when she was in a relationship with you.
This is precisely why you absolutely must actively socialize with new women even while you are in a committed relationship.
Never ever put all your eggs in one basket.
8. She only replies with a very short text
When you send a text message to your ex-girlfriend, and she either replies with a very short text, or she replies a few days later, then she is most likely over you.
Think about the times when you reply to someone with a few words, or you take days to reply back.
Isn’t it mostly when you don’t deem that person as very important?
When she replies to your text with one word, she is indirectly letting you know that she does not consider you as an important part of her life anymore.
If you still occupied a large space in her mind, it would be extremely difficult for her to delay her reply by more than a few hours.
When your ex-girlfriend shows a low level of interest, do not make a mistake of double or triple texting her.
The worst thing you can do when a girl is showing a low level of emotional investment is to chase her even more.
You are only further solidifying your position as a pathetic loser in her mind by chasing her.
If you really want to contact her, then you should call her instead of sending her a long text message.
There are two reasons for this.
The first reason is that it is always better to communicate over the phone rather than via text message. I won’t go into any more detail since I have already hammered away at this topic countless times in my other articles.
The second reason is not what many people think about, but it can still make a big difference in how a girl thinks of you.
Let’s say you send her a long text message with thousands of words that express just how much you love her.
How do you think she is going to feel?
Do you think she will be excited to read all that you wrote because she appreciates how much effort you put into writing all of that?
That may be a possibility if she was still in love with you, but definitely not when she has already moved on from you.
She will think you are being desperate and needy by sending her such a long, wordy text message, and she will be too repelled to even finish reading everything that you wrote.
More importantly, what do you think she will feel every time she looks back on your text?
Your long text will always serve as a reminder for her that she’s made the right decision to move on from you.
But, it is a different story when you call her.
You are not leaving her any pieces of evidence that will remind her you were once a needy, pathetic loser (if you were, that is…).
There is a chance her perception of you will change over time (for the better), without those long text messages that will make her remember you in a negative light.
9. She has found a new man
If you know she has found a new man, then that is a good enough reason for you to assume she is over you.
She may still talk to you and even say things that make you think she wants to get back with you.
But, you need to realize most girls live and die for male attention.
The chances are, she just likes the extra attention she is getting from you while she is having fun with another man.
I made a mistake of chasing my ex-girlfriend even when she was talking to other men during our supposed “break”.
Guess what it did?
She realized she could easily push my boundaries, and her behaviors only got worse over time.
She stopped taking me seriously because she knew she could practically get away with anything.
It was only when I completely let go of my desire to chase her that she wanted to come back (although I was completely over her by that point).
There is nothing to be gained by chasing your ex-girlfriend when she has moved onto another man.
All those calls you make and all of the text messages you send her will only serve to stroke her ego.
I am sure the last thing you want to do is to validate your ex-girlfriend who has left you for another man.
What you need to do instead is to go out and find a new girl.
You may feel lost and feel like you don’t know how to meet girls especially when you have just broken up with your girlfriend.
These are the steps you should take if that is how you feel.
First, start talking to girls from school and work.
This does not necessarily mean you have to hit on all of them (although that would be fine if you feel the connection with the girl you talk to).
As you talk to more girls, you will start to gain more confidence that you had lost after a break-up.
You will start to get the hang of how to flirt with girls again, and you will be back in the game in no time.
As your confidence begins to increase, you can even go out to the bar or a club to talk to girls you find attractive.
Once you reach that point, you will no longer feel like you have no option when it comes to women.
Anyway, those are my tips on how you can figure out if your ex-girlfriend is over you.
Always put yourself first!