What good is it for a man to attract a girl if he can’t keep her?
Our society loves to pretend as if a man just needs to have sexy time with a girl, and the girl will automatically become attached, and he doesn’t need to do anything at that point to keep her.
And I can tell you from my personal experience (as well as having a deep conversation with hundreds of men over the past few years) that simply is not the case anymore in this day and age.
Girls are more sexually liberated than ever, and they are presented with an abundance of options.
Having an intimate time with a girl no longer serves as a guarantee that she is going to want to see you again.
So, what exactly is the secret to keeping a girl’s interest and make her want to come back to you over and over again?
That is exactly what you are going to discover in this article.
The third point is especially important if you do not want her interest to evaporate away when she is first getting to know you, so make sure you pay close attention when you are reading that part!
1. Emotional needs
Meeting a girl’s emotional needs ranks at the top of your priority if you want to keep a girl interested in you.
Women have evolved to develop a preference for men who possess characteristics of kindness, warmth, and dependableness.
Your blasé attitude may have worked great for sparking a girl’s attraction initially, but she is quickly going to lose interest if you maintain that attitude for long.
Many men that get into learning about dating tend to be nice guys who were never taken seriously by women, and they learn the importance of standing up for themselves as they delve deeper into studying about attraction.
But, the problem is they often take this to the opposite end of the spectrum by turning themselves into a man who is completely disrespectful and hateful toward women.
That was exactly where I was when I started going out to talk to women.
I noticed how effective it was to be a “bad boy” compared to being a “nice guy” when interacting with girls.
And I became very good at picking up women for one night stands by being a “charming asshole”.
But, I struggled to keep women that I slept with.
I would see them soon losing interest after going on a couple more dates, and I was left puzzled as to why they would not want to stick around.
I later realized my inability to keep girls was mostly due to my lack of willingness to be fully vulnerable with them.
You can only do so many “negs” and “push and pulls” before the girl realizes there is no substance to your personality.
So, you now realize that it is actually important to do “nice guy things” to keep a girl’s interest, but how can you accomplish that without losing all of your values?
In order for you to pull this off, you need to become a “nice guy with the willingness to walk away”.
Let’s talk about why most girls hate nice guys.
It is because nice guys often use being nice as a crutch to win a girl over because he has no other values to offer.
So, if you are nice to girls because you are needy and desperate with no option, then that is a surefire way to repel them away.
But, it is a different story if you are nice to a girl when she knows you have other options, and you demonstrate your willingness to walk away any time she steps over your boundaries.
When she realizes this, she will actually appreciate your kindness and do everything she can to not lose your validation.
Let me give you some concrete examples so you can get a clearer picture of what I mean by this.
Let’s say a girl you have been seeing for the past few months always show up late to dates by at least half an hour.
There are three ways you can respond to this.
You can be a nice guy who tolerates all of her BS no matter how disrespectful she is toward you, and you can just tell her that everything is fine.
This obviously won’t do you any good in the long run as she will continue to push your boundaries until she finally cheats on you with another guy who she can respect as a man.
You can also be a total asshole about everything (although, you may argue it’s justified in the above scenario…) and lash out on her.
You may call her names and make her feel absolutely terrible by degrading her.
This type of response won’t exactly make her want to stay with you either because she will start to despise you.
When you respond with extreme negative emotions like this, it is only going to make her want to respond back with anger (even if you are making a valid point).
A nice guy with standards
This is the golden standard when you are communicating with a girl, and you want to keep her for a long time.
You would respond to her behavior by letting her know that you love and care for her.
But, you will also let her know that this relationship is not going to work out if she is constantly late as you need your partner to respect your time as much as you respect hers.
When you communicate with her this way, she will realize she can’t take you for granted.
You are being nice and gentle with your communication, but at the same time, you are being firm with your boundaries by letting her know that you are more than happy to walk away from her if she continues to behave this way.
2. Sexual needs
It is undeniable that a man thinks more about sex than women in general.
A lot of dating gurus and pick up artists may tell you that women love sex more than men, and they will be quick to disagree with any man that says otherwise.
You need to realize, however, that these guys only started preaching about women’s love for sex because most men wrongly assume that women do not enjoy sex.
But, it has now gone too far to the other end of the spectrum where men started to believe that women, on average, put a higher importance on sex compared to men.
And this simply is not true according to the researches that are out there.
With that misconception out of the way, I want you to realize that women do indeed care a lot about sex, more so than you may believe.
I’ve had more than a few open discussions about this topic with girls, and I remember this one time I was talking to a female friend of mine.
She said she met a guy at school, and everything just clicked with him from the start.
They had many things in common, and she felt like she could talk about any and everything with him for hours.
Everything seemed perfect… until they had sex.
She said the first time she had sex with a guy, he could not satisfy her at all because he was so terrible.
And after that night, she had to be the bearer of bad news.
She told him sex is important for her, and she is afraid that she is going to have to break it off with him.
He tried to get her to stay by begging her to give him a second chance, but she didn’t budge.
And that is just one of many examples of girls that I personally know who view good sex as a requirement in a relationship.
So, we know that bad sex can be a deal-breaker even for women, but how do you become better at fulfilling her sexual needs?
And you need to realize that you first need to become a man who is sex-worthy.
The man who turns a woman on just from the way he carries himself.
It also helps to take care of your body, so you can become more physically attractive.
Let me give you a hypothetical scenario so you can better understand this.
Imagine there are two girls in front of you, and you can choose one of the girls to sleep with.
The first girl is out of shape, and she is not your type at all, but she is apparently great in the sack.
The second girl has a beautiful body, and she is sexy as heck, but she is apparently not so great in the sack.
Which girl do you think you will want to sleep with?
Which girl do you think will turn you on more in bed?
I’m sure more than 90% of guys will pick the second girl without any hesitation
Women really are no different.
If she is attracted to you, then she will be turned at the mere thought of having sex with you.
At that point, you really don’t need too much technique to get her off.
But, if you are a nerdy dude (no offense to my fellow nerdy brothers out there…) who breathes with your mouth, then no amount of techniques will make a girl want to sleep with you.
So, you want to prioritize in becoming a seductive man who can get a girl turned on before she ends up in bed with you.
Here is the second most important principle I want you to note.
I want you to be selfish in bed.
Now, don’t get me wrong.
This doesn’t mean I want you to just pump a girl hard for 20 seconds and collapse into bed and fall asleep.
Just take a moment to think about how a woman gets turned on.
Do you think a woman gets turned on just from “how” you touch her?
If that is your belief, then you are mistaken.
A big part of the reason why women enjoy sex is that they love feeling desired by men.
When she sees you struggling to contain yourself because you want her badly, that is going to turn her on way more than you touching her the right way with no passion.
A woman wants to feel desired, first and foremost.
She wants to be appreciated for her beauty, and you “mechanically” performing the right moves is not going to make her feel that way.
When you truly embody these two principles, then whatever techniques you learn will simply be cherries on top.
There are plenty of guides available online on how to eat her private part or how to talk dirty, so I’ll let you figure that out.
Just remember that whatever techniques you perform, they must be accompanied by passion.
Otherwise, you are spinning your wheels.
3. Don’t lose mysteriousness
Maintaining a little bit of mysteriousness is especially important when it comes to keeping a girl’s interest when she is just getting to know you.
If a girl feels like she’s already figured you out, then she may potentially lose interest, or you may get thrown into a friend-zone.
The more she is curious about you, the more she is going to think about you, and the more your thoughts are going to fill up space in her mind.
So, how exactly can you maintain that mysterious aura about you?
The first thing you want to NOT do is to ramble on about yourself when you meet a girl for the first time.
Not only will you successfully eradicate all of the curiosity she has for you, but she will also likely think you are an insecure man who feels the need to prove himself.
When a girl asks you personal questions, don’t be afraid to keep it a little ambiguous and make her wonder what you are all about.
Another important thing to keep in mind is to not be so obvious with your intention.
Many men make a mistake of fully revealing their intention to a girl right from the start because they believe that is the best way to show their confidence.
But, little do they realize that is a great way to make a girl lost interest in them.
While it is okay to imply that you find her cute and attractive, you do not want to make a mistake of constantly bombarding her with compliments and validation when she is still getting to know you.
You barely know her, and your compliments will only serve to let her know that you are a low-value male who doesn’t have much to offer.
And that you have to rely on being a nice guy to win her over.
When you readily reveal your intention, you will become a lot less interesting to a girl since she now knows what you want from her.
Striking the right balance between mysteriousness and intent really is the key during the initial phase of the attraction.
4. Be unpredictable
How do you think a girl becomes attracted to you?
One way is when she feels a certain type of emotion when she is with you.
The more you can make her feel strong emotions around you, the more she is going to want to stick around.
Humans are addicted to chasing a strong emotion because that is what makes us feel alive.
Why do people pay money and spend 2~3 hours of their day to go to the movies?
It is because people love being taken on an emotional rollercoaster by the movies that they watch.
The same principle applies when it comes to romantic relationships.
Being a little unpredictable with your words and actions will provide a girl with enough emotional spikes to keep her interested in you.
For example, you can tell a girl how much you appreciate her, but at the same time, you can also let her know that you are afraid you may not be the right person for her.
You may even give her a nice inexpensive surprise gift when she is least expecting it.
You are only limited by your imagination on what unpredictable things you can do to surprise her.
Just keep in mind that everything is better in moderation.
A woman also wants a man that she can rely on.
So, if you base your entire interaction around being unpredictable, then that will easily backfire as well.
5. Be challenging and let her win you over
A girl (and people in general) does not appreciate things that come easy.
If she didn’t have to work for your validation, then she is not going to value them.
And that is precisely why it is problematic for you to shower her with compliments when you are just getting to know her because a girl realizes that your words do not mean much.
The harder she has to work to win you over, the more she is going to appreciate you.
This doesn’t mean I want you to turn into a manipulative psychopath who calculates all of his “moves” when he is interacting with girls.
More often than not, you will naturally present yourself as a challenge to girls when you are just real with them.
When a girl does something that goes against your standard, you let her know without being all fussy about it.
When she does something that you appreciate, you also let her know.
What a pick-up artist would call “push and pull” often naturally occurs if you are aware of your own thoughts and emotions, and you are unafraid to express them in a relatable manner to girls.
Where most men go wrong is when they try to cater to girls at all costs because they were led to believe that is the best way to win a girl over.
I’m here to tell you that simply is not the case.
And even if you do manage to win a girl over that way, your relationship is going to be miserable, and it is not going to last because you started off your relationship on the wrong foot.
So, don’t hold yourself back from being real with girls, she will appreciate you more for it.
Anyway, you now possess all of the necessary knowledge you need to keep a girl’s interest.
At this point, it’s just a matter of implementing the advice you’ve been given to keep her.
I wish you the best of luck!