So what exactly is the best way to keep a conversation going with a girl?
There is so many advice out there and we can talk about millions of different ways.
But the focus of this article is mostly for guys who struggle a lot to even keep a conversation going for a few minutes.
Before I go into any detail, let me just say…
You don’t want to be stuck in this way forever as you get better and better at talking to girls.
But I absolutely do believe this is the best way to get started for guys who have no clue with this whole “talking to girl” thing.
And that is to…
Have a list of things to say
I know some dating coaches talk about how you should just say what’s on your mind and all that BS… but if you are like I once was… that shit simply ain’t going to work.
You are already awkward and nervous as it is… that your brain just entirely freezes up when there is a girl in front of you.
To make it even worse – if you are inexperienced – it’s about 20 times more difficult to come up with witty things to say on the spot while focusing on good sub-communication.
This is just way too much to ask for someone who is not experienced with girls.
And that is precisely why you need to have a list of things to say.
Imagine training a new salesman that’s never done a sales job before and telling him to just freestyle his interaction with customer… without giving him a script.
How well do you think he would perform at his job?
It is already tough as it is for him to talk to customers and ask them to buy their product.
But… without an actual script to provide him with some guidance?
He will be completely useless in 99.9% of cases.
And this exact same principle applies for inexperienced guys talking to girls.
Let me tell you this…
Every dude that I know that gets a lot of success with girls have certain things that they say over and over again.
Do actors just freestyle what they say in the movie without scripts?
How about standup comedians?
They ALL have a very clear idea of what they are going to say.
That way, they are able to put all of their focus on the “delivery” of the message.
Their brain now has enough mental reserve to focus on things that matter the most.
Most people have this wrong idea that it’s not good to have these “pre-rehearsed” lines because they believe it will make them sound unnatural.
Well… here’s the thing.
Most guys who are inexperienced with girls get so nervous and awkward in the interaction… and everything becomes even more amplified when there are more things to worry about.
So, you actually end up sounding even more “unnatural” when you don’t have a clear sense of what you’re going to say.
As you get more and more comfortable with talking to girls, you will be able to relax enough to the point where you’re going to be able to “freestyle” it while sounding natural.
But for the time being, it would absolutely be in your own best interest to come up with a list.
So, what exactly are you supposed to focus on when it comes to “delivery” of the message?
You really need to practice on how to…
Convey emotion through words
Say you ask a girl, “Where are you from?”
There are about hundreds of different ways you can say that.
You may say it with a masculine tone. You may say it with a more playful tone. Or you may even say it with more of a challenging tone.
If you are struggling to come up with a list of questions to ask then you’re likely thinking way too hard.
Just simple basic questions will do such as…
1) What do you do?
2) Where are you from?
3) Where have you traveled?
4) What’s the craziest thing you’ve done in the past few months?
5) What is your favorite show on Netflix?
On a side note, I want to clarify that I do not want to undermine the fact what you say can actually be very powerful – IF you are one of the rare unicorns who can pull it off.
You see a lot of dating coaches that take a very extreme stance on being funny and say it’s not effective… and encouraging all their students to just be completely normal and proper.
And do you notice how guys that say something like that are some of the most boring mo-fos?
Because here’s the truth.
We absolutely despise things that are different than us… or things that we know we can’t be.
So we’d rather just say “oh those things are not important. Girls don’t care about that stuff.”
Although I may not be the funniest dude, I have enough self-awareness to not discredit being funny can actually be effective.
That is if you “actually” are funny.
But the cold hard truth is that there are very few guys who are actually genuinely funny.
So, my suggestion to you is this.
Put your focus on changing her emotion with your “expression” rather than being fixated so much on coming up with “witty” things to say.
That is… unless you are naturally gifted with wits.
Because the problem is only 0.001% of guys are actually witty (Yes… I pulled that statistic out of my ass but it’s probably not too far off).
For that reason, most guys will get a MUCH better return from spending more time on improving their “expression” (Both vocal & facial) rather than the words they say.
Anyway, that’s it for today.
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Till next time.