It is never easy to get over someone who has been a significant part of your life.
How tough is it to let go of your ex-girlfriend when you feel like she understands you better than anyone else in the world?
At least that is how I felt at the time of my first break-up.
But, it is important for you to figure out how to move on and live your own life.
It is true that time heals everything, but there are a few things you can do to really speed up the process of recovery.
While you may feel like breaking up with your girlfriend is the worst thing that’s ever happened to you, it may also be the biggest blessing you’ve ever experienced, and you will soon find out why, at the end of this article.
So, let’s get started if you are ready.
These are the 8 most proven ways to get over your ex-girlfriend.
1. Embrace the pain instead of resisting it
When you try to resist something, it will continue to linger in your mind.
You need to accept that it is normal for you to feel pain when you break up with your girlfriend
There is absolutely nothing wrong with letting yourself wallow in sorrow for a short while.
In fact, it will most likely speed up your recovery process if you allow yourself to bask in pain without trying to “force” yourself to feel okay.
The problem arises when you start to judge what you are feeling, and you try to suppress your emotion.
The more you try to avoid feeling pain, the more it is going to take control of you.
So, by all means, go ahead and get mad at how poorly she treated you, and what a huge pain in the arse she was while you guys were in a relationship.
Just realize this is a transitory phase, and not a place you want to be stuck for a long time
2. Spend more time with people
Once you have dwelled in sorrow long enough, I recommend you to spend more time with family and friends.
This will allow you to get over your ex-girlfriend faster.
When you are hanging out with others, your mind is going to be more often engaged in them rather than defaulting into thoughts about your ex-girlfriend.
I know this may sound a little contradictory to what was discussed in the previous section.
But once you have gone through that initial period of break-up where you weeded out that intense feeling of sadness, it is time for you to focus on moving on.
This is also why you do not want to neglect your family and friends while you are in a relationship.
Not only is that a behavior of a needy, low-value male who is desperate for women, but you will also have no one to lean on when things end badly with your girlfriend (which is statistically more likely to happen than not).
3. Meet a new girl
People have mixed opinions on this.
Some argue you should not be so eager to meet a new girl after a break-up, and some say the wounds that are caused by one person is best healed by another person.
While I do not recommend you to jump into a relationship right after a break-up, I certainly believe it is a good idea to interact with a lot of girls.
Your emotions are in a heightened state following a break-up, and there is a higher chance you will make an irrational decision, which is the reason why I recommend you to stay away from looking for a relationship for the time being.
But, talking to a lot of girls will allow you to soak up feminine energy (as woo-woo as it may sound) that will allow you to get over your ex-girlfriend faster.
When you break up with a girl, a large portion of your brain capacity is wasted on beating yourself up with negative self-talk, such as how you are undesirable, or how no woman will ever like you.
So, it is not a bad idea to get that needed validation from other women during the time of a break-up.
I am not telling you to become a man who constantly seeks validation from girls.
You want to detach yourself from seeking other’s validation as much as you can in the long run.
But, it will serve as an effective temporary fix for you to endure this tough time.
4. Delete her from your life
You want to delete her from your social media accounts, block her from your phone and email, and completely delete her out of your life.
This is one of the most important things you can do to get over your ex-girlfriend.
This is especially important if your ex-girlfriend has a tendency to contact you whenever she is feeling emotional.
There is simply no reason for you to keep in touch with her at this point in time.
When you are constantly exposed to her pictures on social media, and she periodically sends you a text message, it is just going to cloud your brain and slow you down from moving on.
She is the biggest distraction in your life at this moment, and you want to completely eliminate that distraction if you want to move on fast.
Do not ever contact her. Do not talk about her with friends, and do not look her up on social media.
5. Give her a closure
This can be an effective way to get over your ex-girlfriend if you cannot let go of that little hope of getting her back.
It is the little hope that really kills you from inside.
When you have fully come to terms with the fact that you guys will never get back together, your mind is ready to move on from her.
But, when your brain convinces you to believe that there is still a slight chance she may come back to you, you can’t help but fixate on that.
You need to realize you guys broke up for a reason.
If it was meant to work out, you guys would have found a way to work things out, prior to breaking up.
So, if you are struggling with fully letting go of your attachment to get back with her, then you may want to consider giving her closure.
When I broke up with my first girlfriend, I told her I will be blocking her from everything, and she is not going to be able to contact me, and that I will completely move on from her.
As sad as I was to officially declare an end to our relationship, I also felt this weight lifted off my chest.
6. Tell others to not mention your ex-girlfriend
Sometimes, your friends can be the biggest obstacles on your journey to getting over your ex-girlfriend.
They may be constantly talking about your ex-girlfriend in front of you and make it more difficult for you to move on.
You have two choices if you have a friend who lacks the common sense to not bring her up in a conversation.
The first option is to simply hang out with other friends instead of spending time with him.
The second option is to be direct and let him know that you would appreciate it if he would not constantly bring up your ex-girlfriend in a conversation.
Let your friends know you have deleted her out of your life, and you are completely moving on from her, and that it would greatly help if they wouldn’t constantly remind you of her.
On the off chance that they don’t respect your request, you can use that as an opportunity to find a new group of friends who will enhance your life.
You are going to be influenced by the people you spend your time with, so there is no reason for you to settle for any less than you deserve, even when it comes to your friendship.
7. Go on a vacation
Going on a vacation is a great way to move on from your ex-girlfriend because you are moving away from everything that can trigger your brain to think about her.
If you have been in a long-term relationship with your ex-girlfriend – lasting more than a year or longer – then you have likely shared a lot of memories with her.
All of the different places you guys have visited together in your city will serve as reminders for you to engage in thoughts about her.
When you go on a vacation to places where you have no shared memories with your ex-girlfriend, you are eliminating a lot of potential triggers that are going to remind you of her.
You also won’t have to worry about your family and friends constantly reminding you and asking what happened between the two of you.
It is also a great opportunity for you to make new friends, and possibly meet a new girl, who is going to share a short, but intense romance with you.
8. Focus on developing yourself
This really is the best time for you to grow.
We usually do not take action to improve ourselves unless we are dissatisfied with our life, and we experience an unbearable amount of pain.
Think about how you ended up reading this article in the first place.
Isn’t it because you were experiencing intense pain, and you had no choice but to look for a solution to ease your pain?
There is nothing like pain and insecurity that will propel you to grow if you decide to use that energy as a fuel instead of letting it break you down.
And that is precisely what I did when my first girlfriend broke up with me.
I realized I am terrible at interacting with women (and people in general), and I knew I was destined to live a very lonely life if I didn’t do something to improve my social skill.
So, I decided to do everything I possibly could to learn how to attract women.
It did not matter if it meant going out at night and getting rejected by dozens of girls because I was not going to let anything stop me from becoming the version of myself I always knew I could become.
So, I want you to ask yourself what is the area you always wanted to improve.
This can really be anything, such as running a marathon, practicing martial arts, or improving your public speaking ability.
Whatever it may be, I want you to use this breakup as a fuel for you to go all-in on that.
If you do that, you may very well come out on the other side as someone you can barely recognize!
I was Introduced to the world of seduction after being a virgin for the first 26 years of life and being dumped by my first girlfriend at the age of 28. The dating world wasn't so kind to a 28-year-old Asian man who barely had any experience with girls. But, I eventually cracked the "code" and began "attracting" two to three new girls a week on average when I was actively going out. I'm not mentioning that to impress you but to impress upon you that you can take your dating life to the next level... IF you are equipped with the right knowledge and a desire to take massive action.
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