Oh man.. getting a girlfriend, why does it have to be so difficult?
Your dad had a girlfriend.
Your uncle had a girlfriend.
Your grandpa had a girlfriend.
But, why is it so damn difficult for me when it comes naturally to everyone else..?
That is the question that lingered in my mind right until I lost my virginity at 26 years old.
So, If this guide can help you even by 1% on your quest to find that right person then my mission is complete.
The best places to find a girlfriend
Let’s first talk about where you should be looking to find that one and only who would be beside you in a storm..
This really depends on what type of girl you’re looking for.
You would not be spending majority of your time trying to find that special one at the club if you are into athletic girls who don’t drink, would you?
So, let’s talk about some of the possible places you can find your ‘ideal’ girlfriend.
1. Library to find that sexy nerdy girlfriend
I can already hear some of you screaming, “No guys ever care about how smart the girl is. It’s all about pretty face and nice ass!!!”
Guess what? Whatever you’re exposed to for a long time, you will get de-sensitized to it.
And when you finally do get that sexy looking babe as your girlfriend, you will quickly realize it is not worth all the hype.
Especially if she’s annoying and makes your life a living hell..
A library is a great place to meet a studious girl with ambition and goals.
Just casually initiate a conversation by saying simple things like how you see her all the time and asking her what she studies etc.
You can then apply some of the tips from my other article to blossom that initial interaction into something more meaningful.
2. Clubs if you are looking for that spontaneous girl
The club is not the best place to find a lover so the bar is where I go…
Well, the club can be a great place to find your girlfriend depending on what type of girl you are into.
Are you looking for a girl who is adventurous and is not afraid to be spontaneous and try something new?
Then, the club may very well be the right place to find that special one.
Just don’t be surprised when you find out she went to her ‘friend’s’ place for an afterparty after the club closed.
3. Find your lover at the gym
With more people into fitness than ever, the gym can be a great place to find your potential girlfriend.
In fact, I will go as far as saying it may potentially very well be the best place to find an attractive girl who takes care of herself.
There are things you need to be very careful of when you approach girls at the gym, however.
Stay tuned because I will post my in-depth article on how you can approach girls at the gym without completely ruining your reputation as that creepy guy who constantly hits on girls.
4. Don’t look far. Look around your campus to find your girlfriend
School can be a great place to find your girlfriend without a doubt.
In fact, it is quite common when you come across a dude who is quite average in looks but is with a banging girlfriend, more often than not, they’ve either been a high school sweetheart or been a couple since a freshman year of college.
It is important for you to realize school is a very social setting and you need to act accordingly.
Otherwise, your reputation will go down the toilet faster than a lightning speed.
My general tip is this. Be that cool dude who spreads his positive energy to every person he talks to.
When she sees five other girls loving to talk to you then she wouldn’t be able to help but to crave for a little bit of your attention.
And that often will be enough to spark attraction toward you.
5. Workplace to find a girlfriend. Yay or Nay..?
Everyone has a very different opinion about this.
Some people will argue to not shit where you eat and question why you’d bother asking someone out from work when there are so many other girls you can approach.
What do I say?
Fuck it.. and just do it.
No one will be able to tell you for sure whether it’s the right thing to do or not.
But, with a short amount of time I’ve been on this planet earth, I’ve come to realize you often regret more from not doing something than doing it.
So, I would just take my chance and see how it goes.
Please, I mean.. please do not approach this whole thing the same way as if you’re trying to pick up girls at the club, however.
Don’t be afraid to show your personality BUT steer far away from obnoxious stuff especially if you are still not at the level where you can get away with it.
Difference between how you should approach hook-ups and finding a girlfriend
I’ve heard a lot of coaches say it makes no difference when it comes to how you approach hook-ups versus relationship.
While I certainly do not claim to have everything figured out about billions of women on earth, I will say that certainly hasn’t been true for me and all of the guys I know.
Here’s my little bro-theory on why I think it makes a difference.
The picture you’re painting in her head
I had a friend who used to always complain about how girls would never call him back after they sleep with him.
He had slept with hundreds of girls but he always had a massive problem with having girls call back and he could not figure out why.
This is what I told him.
What kind of picture are you painting in the girl’s head during your interaction?
Is it the type of picture she can look back and think, “I like how things progressed between me and him..”
Is it a story she can enthusiastically tell her friend? Is it a story she can look back on and smile or something she has to cover her face in shame?
So what was his problem?
It was the fact he was bringing girls back home with a very standard PUA (Pick-Up Artist) techniques.
He brought most of these girls back home within 5~15 minutes of meeting them at the club and he told them to come for an ‘afterparty’.
When girls would ask who’s at those ‘afterparty’ and where it is, he would just keep it ambiguous and avoid answering it directly.
When they arrived at his place, those girls realized this ‘afterparty’ consists of just him and her.
They ‘kinda’ liked him. They were ‘kinda’ horny. So they ended up sleeping with him.
But what do you think they would’ve been thinking when they wake up the next morning?
If they were to get into a relationship with him, what would they say to their family and friends?
So how then do you ‘paint’ the right picture so she can turn into your loving girlfriend?
I’m now going back to what I have been repeating in many of my other articles.
But don’t get too annoyed since repetition is the mother of all skill.
You NEED to stand out in her mind. You need to be that guy that stands out in her mind above every other creepy dude that is blasting her phone.
And you don’t do this by taking her to expensive restaurants or researching special places for hours and hours.
Hell.. you don’t even know her that well yet, so save all that for when you confirm she’s worth your time and effort.
You accomplish this by being a guy she almost never (or rarely) encounters in her daily life.
What are things you commonly see in most guys? Think about that and make yourself stand out from the rest
Do you notice most guys are overly cautious of what they say in front of girls they like because they don’t want to fuck it up?
Then don’t be afraid to say things that are slightly challenging.
Do you notice most guys are too accommodating and always trying to make sure the girl is ok with whatever they had initially planned on doing?
Then try taking a strong lead during your first date.
As I always say, use everything in moderation.
Anything that is overused loses its effectiveness.
Bonus: Some principles for your first date
These are just some suggestions I would like to make if you have secured a date with the girl.
1. Avoid places where you can’t have a conversation with her
The entire point of the first date is to get to know that person. Many guys make a mistake of going to movies or other places because it lessens burden off of their shoulder.
But, you really want to get over that mental hurdle and pick places where you can have a proper conversation with the girl so she can experience the person you are.
2. Avoid dinners or anything that’s too formal
First of all, you don’t want to get yourself into a situation where you are forced to pay.
Funny (or sad) story when I was still very inexperienced with girls.
I met up with this girl and she suggested we go eat a steak, I never intended on paying for it anyway so I went along with it.
Once she finished her dinner and it came time to pay, she realized I have no intention of paying the bill.
Then, she, all of a sudden, pretended she’s getting an emergency call from her parents and said she will come right back… only to never return again.
As much as it pissed me off at the time, it was a great lesson for me to never ever take a girl out for a dinner for the first date (or at least run out faster than she does..)
Apart from my sob story, I just want you to take away that anything that’s too formal or too much effort especially when you don’t the girl yet sets a bad frame for the start of the relationship.
So, stay away from it until she proves she’s someone that deserves your time and effort.
3. Taking a girl straight back to your place..?
I can imagine many of you thinking there is no way in hell that would work, or that only ‘ratchet’ girls would go back home with the guy on a first date.
I’m sorry to break your bubble but that simply ain’t so.
I’ve had almost zero problems with taking a girl straight back to my place when I got comfortable with doing so.
And I mean literally taking her straight back to mine from the point I meet her and not at the end of the first date.
Now, I didn’t do that because I was determined to sleep with her asap (although it would be a lie to say that wasn’t one of my motivation at the early stages of all this..).
But, I just preferred having a conversation with the girl at my place because I feel more comfortable and it’s cheaper to buy drinks and drink at home rather than spending money at bars.
What exactly I said and how I did it is something I will elaborate on my other article but just know that it is certainly a viable option for the time being.
That’s it for now!
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I was Introduced to the world of seduction after being a virgin for the first 26 years of life and being dumped by my first girlfriend at the age of 28. The dating world wasn't so kind to a 28-year-old Asian man who barely had any experience with girls. But, I eventually cracked the "code" and began "attracting" two to three new girls a week on average when I was actively going out. I'm not mentioning that to impress you but to impress upon you that you can take your dating life to the next level... IF you are equipped with the right knowledge and a desire to take massive action.
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