How To Flirt With A Girl

So, how do you flirt with a girl?

In this article, I’m going to talk about several different approaches you can use when flirting with a girl.

I’ll also talk about the most important principle of flirting toward the end of this article.

I can guarantee you that If you neglect this principle, none of what you do or say will matter.

First tip – Just be direct

If you think about it, flirting is just a way of showing your intention after all.

In that sense, just being direct and telling her she is attractive and cute can be considered the most straightforward and basic form of flirting.

If you are just starting out approaching women, then this may very well be the best way to go about it.

Most people who are not yet experienced with women tend to struggle with showing intent with eye contact and vocal tonality.

If that applies to you, this may be the best route to take as a starting point.

Second tip – Show Your Intention by expressing what you could do together

Just explicitly telling a girl you’re attracted to her is not the only way to flirt and show your intention.

You could also easily accomplish this by assuming it’s already on between you and her.

Here is one scenario I can think of right now.

Say you’re talking to a girl and she asks where you’re from and you answer her saying you’re from Sweden.

How could you possibly turn that into something flirtatious?

Here is one way.

Right after you tell her you are from Sweden, follow up by saying, “Maybe, I’ll take you with me someday if you are a good girl.”

When you say that, there is no ambiguity whatsoever behind your intention.

It is also very simple to implement. You are literally just using the country you’re from as a way to flirt with her.

The problem with most guys is that they over-think each and every step of the interaction.

So, keep things simple and start out with the simplest way to show your intention and flirt with girls when you’re starting out.

Third approach – Roleplay

Another good way to flirt with her is by utilizing roleplay.

No,  I’m not talking about a sexual roleplay although you are certainly free to do whatever you want as long as both parties consent.

Once again, this is very simple and straightforward to implement in practice.

You simply talk to her as if you two are already in a relationship or married in a playful way.

Let’s say you continue your flirting from the previous example.

So, you tell her you’ll take her to Sweden if she is a good girl.

And she goes along with it by saying, “Oh.. so are you going to pay for my flight?”

You can then respond to her saying, “Yeah.. as long as you promise to change our kids’ diapers.”

For those of you who are a little slow, you’re talking to her as if you two are already married with kids.

At this point, there really is no question as to whether you’re asserting yourself in a man to woman way.

Fourth approach – Your observation about her

I personally love this one because I don’t have to rely on a pre-rehearsed line, and it comes out as a lot more genuine when I make a comment about what I noticed about her at that moment.

So, what are some examples..?

“You have a cute smile.. Do you smile at every guy like that? (With a cheeky smile)”

“Aw.. you have such an adorable accent. Are you British?” 

In the first example, you are stating your observation while simultaneously teasing her.

We need to circle back to emotion versus logic once again.

How do you think girls would feel hearing something like the examples above versus you simply asking her what she studies in school?

People (and girls) make decisions based on emotion and justify with logic.

As a guy who does not meet a perfect ideal image that is portrayed by the media, we need to learn how to make the girl feel something with our words and the way we carry ourselves.

Without these, no flirting lines will never ever work for you. Guaranteed. 

I probably sound like a broken record at this point with my emphasis on these points.

But, I simply can’t help it because without them, nothing.. and I mean NOTHING, matters.

You really HAVE to make sure your vocal tone and eye contact are on point.

If you spend any significant amount of time going out to learn how to interact with girls, then you must put 90% of your focus on improving these over learning any cool lines or any of other nonsense.

I sincerely want guys who put effort into improving themselves to succeed and thrive.

Because I know how devastating it is to have a legitimate fear of never finding that right girl for yourself.

With that being said, let’s talk about what specific steps you can actually take to transform your vocal tonality and eye contact.

This is not going to happen overnight because it’s a habit you’ve ingrained in yourself over a lifetime.

But, if you spend 6 months of focused effort to live the rest of your life worry-free (when it comes to dating), are you willing to put in the effort?

If you said yes to the above question, let’s dive right in.

What I personally did to fix my tonality and eye contact

Here is EXACTLY what I did when I decided I’m going to get good with girls..

Most guys getting into approaching women (or pickup) think going out and just talking to as many random girls as possible will help them get better with women.

But, I had a different take on this even when I decided I’d embark on this journey.

I intuitively understood I need to get good with people FIRST for me to even have any shot at attracting random girls.

Then, I naturally asked myself the following question.

Where do I spend most of my time where I have an opportunity to interact with a lot of different people?

The answer to that was the gym since I was very much into lifting.

From gym loner to being the most social guy in the gym

So what did I do?

I began talking to everyone in the gym.

When I saw someone squatting with a nice form (just dudes at first), I went up to him and told him he has a really freaking good form.

When I saw someone doing Olympic-style weightlifting (which I’m into), I asked them how long they’ve been training and initiated a conversation that way.

When I saw someone struggling to get a plate off the barbell, I went up to help and initiated a conversation.

EACH and EVERY interaction was an opportunity for me to talk with a better vocal tonality, to be more expressive, to learn to build rapport with a stranger fast.

And guess what?

When I first went out to do ‘cold approach’ for the first time in my life after I dialed in my social skill for those 3~4 months at the gym, I was already better than most guys who’s been doing a so-called ‘pickup’ for 3~4+ years.

Girls responded better to my approach. They responded better to my jokes. They preferred to talk to me over most other guys that I went out with.

So how do you apply this for yourself..?

If you are starting out from a place of being a very socially awkward person just like I was, then I’d recommend you to do exactly what I did starting out.

But, just think about it for a moment.

If you are not even able to convey yourself as the most attractive dude in a social setting where the girl sees you over and over again, then what chance do you think you have in attracting random girls who don’t even know you?

The steps I took, in my personal opinion, is a surefire way to rapidly improve your people/girl skill without having to go out 5~6 days a week every day.

So, pause for a moment and think about where you spend most of your time.

Is it school, work, or gym?

Pick that one place where you spend most of your day, then try to socialize with any and every person in that social setting whenever an opportunity arises.

At the end of the day, think about what you did well and what you can improve.

Then write it down in your journal.

It requires a lot of conscious effort to eliminate and replace a bad ingrained habit, and you won’t accomplish this by just ‘kind of’ thinking about it.

You need to actively remind yourself to not revert back into old habits and be willing to go through thousands of repetitions until your good habits become your new default.

It may sound like a lot of work but this process holds true in pretty much every area of life you want to excel in.

Whether you want to be a great athlete, succeed in business, or develop your social skill, it initially requires a lot of conscious effort for you to get to that level of mastery.

When these good habits finally do become your default, however, people will begin to think you’ve always been a natural when they see you interact with girls.

Sincerely wishing you the best of luck.

That’s it for now.

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Till next time.

About the Author Jon Go

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