How To Flirt on a First Date with a Girl

There is nothing quite as exciting as going on a first date with a girl you genuinely find attractive.

But, that excitement can easily turn into anxiety when you feel like you do not know how to talk and flirt with her.

I still remember the first time I went on a date at the age of 26 (Yes, I was a kissless virgin until that age). Prior to my date, I spent a couple of days reading up on hundreds of different ways of flirting with a girl, and what I should do to secure that first kiss.

Fast forward a few years, I have been with more women than I could be bothered to count, and I have picked up a little bit of wisdom here and there along the way.

And here is the main lesson I have learned.

If you do not possess this key mindset (which you will soon learn in this article), then you may very well end up spending the rest of your life as an awkward man, who just has no clue how to flirt with a girl on a first date.

But, if you learn and embody this key principle, it is possible for you to experience the changes almost overnight.

So, let’s get right into the meat of the article if you are ready to become a master seducer, who is able to effortlessly flirt with a girl on a first date!

Flirt with a woman without using words

Here is what I want you to realize.

Most of flirting come down to sub-communication.

And that really is the biggest difference between a master seduce and an amateur who has all of the flirtatious lines prepared up his sleeves.

The master seducer knows how to flirt with his eye contact, smile, and vocal tonality to arouse a woman’s emotion.

Meanwhile, the amateur relies on his “verbal routine” to flirt with a woman which usually does not work in most cases (unless the girl is already attracted to him).

You want to become that master seducer who accomplishes more while doing less.

You do not want a girl to think you are being a try-hard when you try to flirt with her on your first date with her.

When you learn to flirt with the least amount of effort by using your sub-communication, it is near impossible for you to appear try-hard.

This absence of “trying” will also leave some room for her to contribute to the interaction, rather than you feeling like all the burden is on you to carry the conversation on a first date.

Look at a girl to flirt with her 

Your eyes can be one of the most powerful tools when flirting with a girl.

And there are countless ways you can use your eyes to arouse different emotions in a woman.

Do you feel like the interaction is becoming too friendly with a girl? Look into her pupil and hold eye contact to build sexual tension.

Did you make a mistake of showering a girl with too many compliments and over-validating her on a first date? Break eye contact and look away to create a little bit of void in her mind.

Do you want to make her think about potentially kissing you? Then, briefly look at her lips while she is talking.

Here is one thing you want to avoid with your eye contact.

When your mind gets fixated on maintaining eye contact, it can be easy for you to get too carried away and look into a woman’s eyes at all times without any break.

This will make you appear very unnatural and put a ton of pressure on a girl to the point of creeping her out.

Make sure to break your eye contact (not abruptly) every now and then, so you don’t look like you are about to devour her for dinner.

Use smile the right way to flirt with a girl 

Once you master your smile, you will never have to worry about being flirtatious with a girl.

But, it is most likely not the type of smile you are thinking of.

Many men make a mistake of smiling with a mouth too wide open which communicates to a girl that they are fully sold on her.

When you smile that way, you are basically communicating to a girl that you want to validate her as much as you possibly can because you like her so much.

Such smile invokes zero curiosity, and you will strip yourself from any aura of mysteriousness you may have had.

So, what then is the right type of smile to seduce a woman and communicate your flirtatious intent?

You want to adopt a “playful smirk”.

There is nothing sexier to a woman than a man who is able to smile at her with the look of, “I know all the dirty little thoughts that are running through your mind”.

Once you become the master of a playful smirk, you are often going to generate attraction without even trying.

So, please be mindful of the superpower you will possess and use it with caution.

Use your voice to flirt with her 

What do you notice in a man who consistently gets friend-zoned by a woman?

Do you see any common patterns among them in the way they speak?

I certainly do.

When these men try to flirt with a girl on a first date, their voice reeks of excitement and enthusiasm.

They talk fast and with a high-pitched voice.

This, of course, breaks any sort of sexual tension that arises in the interaction and sends them right into the friend-zone.

While there is only so much you can do to change the natural pitch of your voice, you can certainly practice speaking a little slower and without so much enthusiasm.

Speaking with excitement is great for making friends, but it is not so great when it comes to seduction (If you sound excited 24/7 that is…).

So, slow down a little and take your time (without being boring) when you speak as you look deeply into her eyes.

What to say when flirting with a girl on a first date

The latter part of the article is going to be brief compared to the previous section because being seductive is more about the way you carry yourself than the things you say.

Nonetheless, it is useful to have a general idea of how you should approach flirting with your spoken words.

You still need to open your mouth to talk to a woman for you to get to know her, so it would be foolish for you to completely write off the importance of what you say in the interaction.

Yes, it is true that you can say nearly anything and get away with it if your sub-communication is really dialed-in.

But, it will take a long time for you to master your sub-communication since you are trying to change your ingrained habits.

For this reason, it may not be a bad idea to improve your verbal ability to flirt with a girl for the time being.

With that being said, let’s get into the specifics of verbal components of flirting with a woman.

Playfully tease her to flirt with her on a first date 

Teasing is a great way to arouse a woman’s emotion as long as it is wrapped up in fun.

Many inexperienced men make a mistake of teasing a girl without making it clear that they are just being playful with her.

And they just end up offending the girl.

So, it is important for you to make it crystal clear (with your sub-communication) that you are not serious when you tease her.

Anyway, why is playful teasing so great?

It is an effective way to flirt with a girl on a first date because it lets her know that you do not put her on a pedestal.

What do most men do when they are with an attractive woman?

They usually shower her with compliments and supplicate to her at all times.

When you tease a girl, however, you let her know that you do not take her overly seriously.

And that is what women want from men.

They don’t want a man who worships them and treats them like a queen. That is just going to be too much pressure.

Women desire a man who views them as who they really are (a little girl who just wants to be loved in most cases…), and the fact you are able to tease her lets her know you are that man.

Accuse her of hitting on you when flirting with a girl

This is yet another way to flirt with a girl, coming from the position of a high-status man.

When you see most men flirt with a woman on a first date, they are busy to prove their value and communicate to her just how much they are interested.

By showing such strong intent from the get-go, you are automatically assuming the role of a “chaser”.

And when you do this, you are making your life more difficult than necessary.


Because you have now made it easy for her to give you crap every time you make a move on her.

“Oh, are you trying to sleep with me?”

“Take me out to dinner first before you invite me to yours.”

I’m sure you’ve heard women say something similar if you’ve asked out (and been on a date) more than a handful of girls in your life.

So, how can you prevent this from happening?

And the answer is really simple.

You playfully accuse girls of hitting on you at all times.

If a girl accidentally brushes your butt, accuse her of trying to cop a feel.

If she says she is not doing anything the next day, tell her that you can’t stay over too late.

If she looks at your lips, accuse her of wanting to kiss you.

When you do this, you are instantly positioning yourself as a higher value person in the interaction, since you are implying she is chasing you for your attention.

But, the key is to pull this off in a playful way, so she can easily accept what you say without too much resistance.

Act as if you are scared of her

This may not exactly fall into the category of flirting, but it is, nonetheless, a great fun little way to make a woman feel more comfortable to be around you.

When making a move on a girl, joke about some of the concerns that may be running through her mind.

So, here is what I mean by that.

Let’s say you ask her to come to your place. You can jokingly ask her if she is not the crazy stalker type that would bang on your door at 4 in the morning.

Many attractive women have suffered from a crazy stalker type before, so your joke will let her know that you are a man who “gets” it, and she will instantly feel more comfortable with you.

Fear is one of the predominant emotions in a woman’s mind on a daily basis. So, if you can help her put her mind at ease, she is going to love you for it.

Anyway, these are my advice on how to flirt on a first date with a girl.

Do not forget to go out and implement what you have learned if you are serious about improving your dating life!

About the Author Jon Go

I was Introduced to the world of seduction after being a virgin for the first 26 years of life and being dumped by my first girlfriend at the age of 28. The dating world wasn't so kind to a 28-year-old Asian man who barely had any experience with girls. But, I eventually cracked the "code" and began "attracting" two to three new girls a week on average when I was actively going out. I'm not mentioning that to impress you but to impress upon you that you can take your dating life to the next level... IF you are equipped with the right knowledge and a desire to take massive action.