Asking a girl out on a date can be as hard as it is, but it can also be a challenging experience to confirm a date even if you have managed to set up a date with a girl.
Your head may be filled with worries about what texts to send, or if you should send any texts at all.
Upon finishing this article, you will have learned the most effective ways to confirm your date with a girl via text (and more) without throwing away your value as a man.
I also added the 4th point as an additional tip to really help improve your dating life, so make sure you don’t miss that!
1. How most men confirm a date over text
The way most men confirm a date with a girl can come off as quite pathetic, to say the least.
Let me give you some examples of how most men confirm their dates over text, and I want you to try to figure out for yourself what’s wrong with their approach.
“Hey, I was wondering if you are still good for Tuesday?”
“Hey, you still want to see me for Saturday, right?”
So, what mistakes do you notice in the above examples?
It’s the fact that the man who is sending those texts is automatically assuming a lower value by implying that the girl is the only “chooser” in this relationship dynamic.
And it is not only that, but he is also coming off as needy which is the best way to kill a girl’s attraction.
By sending texts like the above examples, you are essentially implying that you are worried she may not show up, or that you believe there is a good chance she may flake on you.
Either way, it is not a good look, and it is certainly not the way you want to frame things from the start of a relationship.
A woman wants to be with a man who is on his purpose and is not overly attached to her from the get-go.
What does it communicate when you are obsessed with whether she shows up for a date or not?
You are implying you don’t get a lot of opportunities to go on a date with an attractive girl.
No girl wants to feel like she is only desired by a man who asks her out because he has no other alternatives.
So, you never want to give off the impression you are overly attached to her from the start, whether it be confirming a date with a girl via text, or talking to her in person.
2. How you should confirm a date
The correct way to confirm a date is to do it in a way you do not lose your power.
And, there can be a lot of different ways you can accomplish this.
So, let’s talk about some of those.
Tell a girl you will be late
This is my personal favorite.
You can tell a girl you may be a little late, and that you are just letting her know in advance.
This fully assumes she is going to show up (and it is good to imply that since you are indirectly letting a girl know it is rare for other girls to not want to see you).
About an hour or two before the date, I would always text a girl something similar to this…
“Hey, [name]. I might be two or three minutes late. Just letting you know in advance J.”
Almost always, the girl would reply saying it is fine.
If a girl did not reply to my text message, I would simply not show up.
If a girl doesn’t respond to your text an hour or two before you are supposed to meet up with her, there is no reason for you to show up to the date location.
It is unlikely she is going to show up in such a case (although, there is a very small chance she will show up without replying to your message because her phone died, or she lost her phone).
It doesn’t matter if you talked to her over texts a few hours or a day before, I recommend you to always send a confirmation text message an hour before your date.
A girl’s emotions fluctuate.
She may have appeared very receptive the day before, but that does not mean she is going to feel the same way on the day of the date.
This is also why you shouldn’t take it so personally if she flakes on you.
More often than not, the reason why a girl flakes on you has nothing to do with you.
These are some of the many possible reasons why a girl may change her mind at the last minute…
- She may be the type who experiences an extreme mood swing.
- She may suffer from anxiety. She likes the “idea” of going on a date with you (which is the reason why she initially said yes when you asked her out), but the actual thought of going on a date may induce too much anxiety for her to show up.
- She may have some issues with her family or friends, and she has to be there for them.
- She is not happy with her appearance (e.g. a huge pimple on her face), and she is not feeling confident to go out.
Here is what I want you to note, however.
If a girl flakes on you without proactively asking to meet up another day, then that is a good sign she is not that interested in you.
A girl that cannot show up for a valid reason will most certainly ask to meet up another time if she is interested.
If she simply lets you know she cannot make it, and she doesn’t say anything else, then you can take that as a sign of rejection.
More ideas regarding text messages you can send…
“Hey. Wear a nice looking outfit, so we match J.”
“It’s a little cold out. Wear something warm.”
“My phone might die soon. I’ll be at [nearby coffee shop or whatever other place] before 3 in case I can’t contact you.”
Basically, it is a safe bet to send any text that does not make you appear needy and assumes she is going to show up.
3. Do not show up unless she responds
As we had briefly mentioned in the previous section, you should not show up to a date unless a girl responds to your text.
There are not many things that make you feel more pathetic and insignificant than showing up to a date and waiting, only to have a girl text you half an hour later that she cannot make it.
This is precisely why you want to receive a confirmation text message from a girl an hour or two before the promised time (on a side note, this is also the reason why you want to set up a date near your place).
Your time is valuable, and you do not want to waste any of your time for someone who has no respect for you.
So, I want you to follow this “protocol” every time you are about to go on a date with a girl.
- Set up a date near your place (ideally, within 10-15 minutes of walking distance).
- For your first date, ask her to meet within the first 7 days, from the time you ask her out on a date (So, if you ask her out on Tuesday, then try to set up a date some time before next Tuesday. The longer you wait, the more likely things are going to fizzle out).
- Always send a confirmation text message an hour before the time you are supposed to meet her. Don’t send any text message that makes you appear you are too eager to see her. Simply send her a text saying you might be a few minutes late, and you are just letting her know in advance (or any other variations of it from one of the above examples).
- If she doesn’t reply to your text message, do not bother showing up since it’s highly unlikely she is going to show up.
- If she cancels the date at the last minute, and she doesn’t proactively try to re-schedule, then I advise you to move on since it is a sign of low interest. You don’t want to chase a girl who is not interested.
4. Confirming a second date with a girl via text
I’ve added an additional section to discuss about confirming a second date since it is still important to not mess things up at this stage when the girl isn’t quite emotionally attached to you yet.
So, you went out with a girl for the first time, and everything went well, and you even managed to set up a second date.
How should you confirm a second date with a girl via text? Is it any different than confirming your first date?
You want to take a similar approach to confirming your first date for the most part.
It is still important to convey a lack of neediness and not lose your value in the process of confirming the date.
One thing I want to emphasize, however, is that it is even more effective to call her at this stage.
She’s been on a date with you, and there is a certain level of comfort established already.
And for this reason, she is much more likely to pick up the phone when you call her.
But, it is possible she may be contemplating whether she should come out to meet you again for a second time.
In such a case, calling her on the phone and providing her with positive emotion can really help seal the deal.
I’ve had more than a handful of girls tell me that the fact I called them made them change their minds when they were on the fence about going on a date with me again.
So, if you weren’t able to quite convey your personality on your first date because you were having a bad day or you were nervous, I urge you to pick up that phone and call her.
You will be glad you did.
Anyway, you’ve now got all the necessary information you need to confirm a date with a girl in the most effective manner possible.
I wish you the best of luck!