How To Ask A Woman Out

How nerve-wracking is it to ask a woman out for the first time?

You don’t know if she is going to say yes or reject you.

You are afraid you might embarrass yourself.

There are all these little voices that are running through your head.

In this article, you are going to gain a newfound clarity, so you never have to worry about what you should do when asking a woman out on a date.

So, let’s get started!

Get to know her

What a surprise, eh? The first step to asking a woman out is to get to know her first.

This may sound ridiculously obvious, but I wanted to emphasize the importance of actually taking your time and getting to know a woman before asking her out.

You may assume she is awesome based on her beautiful physical appearance, but there is a chance you might not even like her once you get to know her on a more personal level.

It is important to come from the frame of mindset “I want to get to know her”, rather than “I want her”.

The former mindset is going to allow you to be less needy in the way you approach your interaction with women.

You are viewing her from the lens of a high-value man with standards, rather than being a desperate man who is happy to take anything that comes his way.

Find out her relationship status

You want to figure out if she is seeing anyone before asking a woman out.

I see a lot of dating coaches who talk about picking up girls with boyfriends, but here is my personal view on it.

Why would you try to pick up a girl with a boyfriend when there are thousands of single women out there, who would be more than happy to talk to you?

I believe most men get into learning about dating because they want to experience abundance in their dating lives.

But, what does it reinforce to your brain when you are chasing after a girl with a boyfriend?

That, in my opinion, is a scarce mindset that is just going to reinforce negative beliefs into your brain (that you are a needy, desperate man who has to go after whatever girl he can get).

So, not only is it a morally questionable thing to do, but it will also likely have a detrimental effect on how you view yourself and women, which will prevent you from improving your personality to its full potential.

So, figure out her relationship status, and I would advise you to let her go if she is seeing someone.

Figure out her schedule

It is important you figure out her schedule early on.

When you ask a woman out, it is important to be crystal clear on what days work best for both you and the girl.

Even if both of you agree to go on a date, if you set up a date on days when one of you have to leave early, then it can be difficult to form any sort of meaningful connection on a date.

So, it is normally a good idea to figure out her schedule before you even ask for her number.

It is a hassle to try to figure out the right time that works for both of you over text.

When you get that out of the way in person, you will be saving yourself a lot of potential headaches.

Remember, whatever you are trying to get done over text can be accomplished in person with one-fifth of effort and time.

You do not have to complicate this process. Simply ask if she is doing anything fun this weekend.

If she is not doing anything special, then that is a perfect opportunity for you to ask her out.

Make sure she is interested before asking her out

It would be foolish to ask a woman out who barely reciprocates in person.

If she barely looks at you when you talk, and she seems distant when she is around you, you probably want to stay away from asking her out.

If you are asking a girl out from your social circle, you want to ensure you guys spend at least a little bit of time getting to know each other before you go ahead and ask her out.

If you meet a girl from the club or a bar, you want to spend some time getting to know her before you get her number and disappear from her sight.

Many men rush into getting a girl’s number, and they wonder why a girl never replies back to his text.

If you did not show enough of your personality for her to experience you, then it only makes logical sense for her to flake on you.

You need to realize attractive women are approached by a lot of men on a daily basis.

If you want to stand out, then it is on you to help her realize there is something different about you.

Make it easy for her to say yes

If it is difficult, she is not going to do it.

When you ask a woman out, make it as easy as you possibly can for her to say yes.

She does not have a deep feeling toward you yet because she barely knows you.

Even if she is somewhat attracted to you, just a little bit of inconvenience is going to stop her from wanting to see you.

You need to realize we are living in a society where people would rather post pretty pictures and collect likes on their social media accounts, rather than going out to meet people outside.

So, how can you make it easy for her to say yes?

First, try to reduce as much pressure as you possibly can for the girl. If she feels like there is any chance she is going to feel uncomfortable, she is going to say no.

This means you would not invite her out on a date unless you know she is into you as well.

In an ideal world, you would just invite her out to parties or events you were going to go anyway.

She gets to go to cool events where she can take awesome pictures, so she can brag on her social media account, and you get to hang out with a cute girl (Actually, it sounds like a crappy deal for you when you put it that way, which it probably is…)

Ask a woman out with conviction

Do your best to not mumble and fumble when you ask a woman out.

How you ask her out makes all the difference in the world.

Many men speak with zero conviction when they ask a girl to do something.

They speak as if they are feeling sorry because they are about to “take” something from the girl.

Most of it stems from deep-seated insecurity that you are not worthy for her to be spending time with you.

So, you feel like you are doing her a disservice by asking her to hang out with you.

But, you need to realize most of these attractive women aren’t really dating billionaires and professional athletes on a weekly basis.

In fact, most men they date are just average guys who do not have much going for themselves.

When you get your life in order, you will be one of the rare men who actually add value to these girl’s lives.

So, why wouldn’t you confidently ask her out?

Play it cool

Let’s say you made it as far as getting to know her and even getting her number.

I don’t want you to get too overly excited yet.

While I don’t want you to unnecessarily worry about what may happen in the future, there is still a good chance things are just not going to work out between you and her.

Stop wasting your time daydreaming about the wedding venue you are going to pick, or how many kids you are going to have with her.

The bigger the expectation, the bigger the disappointment.

As a man, you need to lead and suggest what to do, in order for you to progress the interaction, but do not expect her to say yes every step of the way.

Chances are, there are going to be hurdles you will need to overcome.

When you constantly waste your time daydreaming about things you would do with (or to…) her, you are going to feel very needy when you finally get to hang out with her.

I said this millions of times in my other articles, but the more you think about something, the more you are going to convince yourself into believing it must be something important.

So, stop thinking about her and focus on living your own life until that very moment she is sitting in front of you.

Confirm on the day of the date

Another golden piece of advice I can give you is to confirm one last time on the day of the date.

There are sadly a lot of girls who are completely irresponsible, and you may encounter a few who would flake on the day you are supposed to meet, without letting you know in advance (Although, these incidents are much less likely to happen as you get better with women).

And you obviously do not want that because you are a man on purpose, and you don’t let others waste your time like that.

So, what is the best way to prevent that from happening?

You should text her to confirm if she is still good to meet up that day.

But, most men end up losing their value when they text a girl to confirm if she is coming.

And here is what they do wrong.

They text a girl like the examples below.

“Hey, I just wanted to double-check if you are good for today.”

“Hey, can you still make it today?”

The problem with confirming this way is that it comes off as desperate, and your value is likely going to dip in her eyes.

Here is a better way to confirm the date (Send this about an hour before the time of the date).

“Hey, I might be a minute or two late. Just letting you know in advance.”

In the above example, you are already assuming she is going to show up. You are simply being polite by letting a girl know there is a possibility you may be a little late. Your value is not diminished in her eyes.

And if she doesn’t reply back, you assume she is going to flake, and you don’t show up to the date.

Don’t ask her out again right away after the first date

So, you asked her out and you’ve even been on your first date.

Should you go ahead and ask her out for a second date at the end of your first date?

Truth be told, there is no right or wrong answer to this question.

It depends on how much a girl likes you and if you guys have established a solid connection on your first date.

But as a general rule of thumb, I would recommend keeping it ambiguous by not saying anything.

When you are eager to set up a second date at the end of your first one, you are essentially letting her know you are really into her.

You are not a question mark in her mind anymore. She already has you figured out.

And guess what?

That will destroy any curiosity she has toward you. You don’t appear so mysterious in her eyes anymore.

And keeping a little bit of mysteriousness goes a long way when the girl is not fully sold on you yet.

When you keep your intention ambiguous, you will put her in her head.

She will start worrying about if she did anything stupid on a date, rather than focusing her thoughts on judging your behaviors.

So, don’t be so predictable!

Call her to build more rapport

I left my best-kept secret for the last.

This is one of the most powerful ways I have found to further strengthen the connection with a woman.

But there is a caveat to this.

You actually need to have the ability to have a good conversation with a girl over the phone.

You are most likely not going to be great at that right off the bat, but it will improve over time.

Here is what I want you to do.

A day or two after you have been on a first date with a woman, give her a call instead of texting her.

Make her feel positive emotion with your soothing voice and well-timed humor, you can then ask her out on a second date.

That alone will make her excited to see you even if she wasn’t sure if she wanted to see you for the second time.

So, there are all my tips on how to ask a woman out.

I sincerely hope you implement the advice you learned in this article to improve your dating life!

About the Author Jon Go

I was Introduced to the world of seduction after being a virgin for the first 26 years of life and being dumped by my first girlfriend at the age of 28. The dating world wasn't so kind to a 28-year-old Asian man who barely had any experience with girls. But, I eventually cracked the "code" and began "attracting" two to three new girls a week on average when I was actively going out. I'm not mentioning that to impress you but to impress upon you that you can take your dating life to the next level... IF you are equipped with the right knowledge and a desire to take massive action.