How To Ask A Girl Out

When I hear this question, I’m tempted to say, “Just go for it..”

But I remember when I was stifled to the point I over-analyzed talking to my friends because I was worried about how my voice would sound. So, I totally understand where you are coming from to ask this question

In this article, I’ll talk about some of the best ways you can ask her out.

I’ll also talk about one of the most powerful psychological hacks you can use that will change your understanding (and results) of female and human in general.

Ask her out in person – The best way

The best way really is to ask her out in person when you first approach her (Or in class or at work if you know her from social settings).

This reduces so much potential of a headache and having to waste your precious energy and time texting her back and forth to schedule a date.

If you know anything about sales or persuasion, you would understand this really is a no-brainer.

It is a LOT easier to sell or persuade someone to take certain action when they are in front of you talking to you face-to-face.

So, ask her what her plan is for the weekend. Then, invite her out for a drink or simply just ask to hang out.

When you do that, all you have to do after is to confirm your plan over text.

*On a side note, please do not go for dinner as it’s way too formal and you don’t want to feel all gassy during the date.

There is one more thing I would like to note.

I see many guys confirming their date with a text like, “Are you still good for Tuesday?”

I personally hate this type of texting with a passion.

You are instantly putting yourself as a lower value one with a text like that because you are assuming she may not want to come see you.

Instead, try to send a confirming text that fully assumes she will come meet you.

E.g. “I’ll meet you near the big watch tomorrow.”

Get her on the phone

So, what is your next course of action if you have her number but you forgot to set up a date in person?

Get her on that damn phone.

I can already hear many of you saying, “B..but nobody picks up their phone these days!”

Guess what? That’s where your creativity comes in.

Anything that comes easy isn’t worth having.

Here are some of the things you can try to get her on the phone.

1. Call her right when she texts you back if it’s after 4-5 pm.

2. Spike her emotion over text so she wants to pick that phone up and talk to you.

If you are bad at talking on the phone then..

Simply get better at it.

You have to talk to her in person anyway so you might as well get better at talking on the phone as well.

If it’s worth getting good at then it’s worth sucking at for a little while.

But I just can’t talk on the phone.. Can you just give me some text lines for now..?

Let me first tell you this.

If you are not taking one of the above two options because you are so terrified of asking her out in person or talking to her on the phone, then it’s going to be a long journey for you to get better with girls.

But, say you either forgot to ask her out in person or she didn’t pick up her phone, what can you do next?

There are two schools of thought when it comes to asking girls out over text.

1. People that believe there is no such thing as text game. Your result is fully pre-determined by the face-to-face interaction you had with the girl

2. People that believe in text game and that it can actually have a big influence on her decision to see you again.

In regards to the first point, that is precisely the belief I held for the longest time.

But, there was one turning point where I had managed to make a girl who doesn’t even know my face (Didn’t even have her on social media as friends) come out and see me.

I did this by amplifying this one psychological trigger which I will mention later in the article. 

Since then, I became a believer in a so0called text game.

And if you know anything about copywriting, you’d know there are people selling millions of dollars a year with the power of written words alone.

So, it would be foolish to disregard a powerful influence of written words.

With that being said, let’s dive in a little deeper into texting.

The question is not what to text but rather if your message follows these principles

When I first got into this whole dating thing, everyone was raving about sending a value text.

“Send her a funny meme to make her laugh and she will really look forward to seeing you again.”

That’s what many people would say.

Sorry to whoever came up with that idea but I think sending meme is lame as fuck.

Also, the idea of giving value to a hot girl with meme is eff’ing laughable when she’s getting enough ‘values’ by thousands of horny guys that like every one of her pictures on her Instagram.

So, what then are the most important principles you need to keep in mind when texting to get her to respond?

Because let’s face it.

If she doesn’t even respond to your text, there is no asking out part.

Principle #1 – Emotion and not logic

Say you get her number but you forgot to set up a date in person. So you text her this simple line, “Hey, are you free on Tuesday?”

What do you think most girls would feel when they receive a text like that?

Most likely..


We should know by now that we need to arouse emotion in others if we want to persuade them to take the action we desire.

So, do you really think asking if she’s free on Tuesday is the best you can do?

If you are one of those guys who thinks, “Hey.. I need to act like a high-value guy at all cost and I refuse to text her anything other than to set up a date because it’s a low-value thing to do! (Although you were somehow willing to put enough effort into approaching and getting her number).

Then I would happily advise you to finish reading this article here.

But, If you think you can do a little better than what’s illustrated above, let’s have a further discussion.

There are two emotions you can try to arouse from the girl you’re texting.

The first one is a positive emotion.

Send a text you think will potentially make her laugh and put her in a good mood. 

If you can’t think of anything, you can just try making a joke about something you guys have talked about when you approached.

I advise you to not play with negative emotions at this stage because she doesn’t even really know you yet.

You are not even relevant in her mind at this stage so it would be foolish for you to try to break rapport with her in any shape or form.

Now.. the second emotion I will talk about is possibly the most powerful emotion you can induce to get her to meet you.

Principle #2 – Learning about this psychological trigger will forever change the way you interact with females

So what is the most powerful psychological button you can push to make her want to see you again?

If you take a moment to think about it, it really doesn’t matter how attractive you portrayed yourself to be, you’re still a stranger to her (If you approached her outside of social setting).

I’m talking about hot girls with a lot of options by the way. If we’re talking about average girls, your looks alone can do most of the heavy lifting.

Generally speaking, If she’s a hot girl, she will surely have plenty of other attractive guys who want to (or already are) get with her within her social circle.

You might say, “Oh.. but I had balls to go up to her, so wouldn’t that make me stand out from all of the other dudes in her social circle..?”

The short answer is no.

Her brain simply will not think that way.

She doesn’t compare you to other attractive guys in her social circle and thinks to herself,

“Ok.. Johnny (from her social circle) is as attractive as this guy, but he had balls to approach me so he gets extra 3 points so I’ll go on a date with him.”

If anything, you’re a lot worse off than Johnny because Johnny at least has multiple chances to make something happen with her (if he plays smart) whereas you only get one shot.

So, what is the most powerful psychological trigger you need to rely on to get her to see you again?

It’s curiosity.

Yup, you need to amplify her curiosity to the point she can’t help but keep thinking about you over and over again in her head.

By now, you would be asking, “So how do I accomplish this?”

There are two ways you can spike her curiosity.

1. You get her curious about YOU. This can be effective if you are genuinely someone who strangers can be curious about. Maybe you have jobs that are unorthodox. Maybe you have unusual and interesting hobbies. Maybe you are famous. This, however, does not apply to most of us.

2. You get her curious about HERSELF that you found out about but haven’t fully revealed to her yet.

In my other article, I give a few examples of how you can apply this concept in practice.

But, as always, it is not specific lines that matter.

What is important is that you understand what’s the essence that makes certain lines work.

That essence, in this scenario, would be your understanding of the power of curiosity on inducing action from another human being.

So, make sure you ask yourself this before you send your text next time. What is she going to feel when she reads this text?

When she gets hooked onto your words, asking her out becomes simple.

It is as easy as telling her to come meet you to have a further conversation about the text you sent her.

Some of you might be thinking that she may get fixated on the text you sent her (which induced her curiosity), and it’s unlikely anything will come out of meeting up with her.

I can tell you from experience this couldn’t be further from the truth. 

If you consider yourself as an attractive male (which you should), you better believe you will easily be able to brush off her annoying question and get her to fall for you with your presence.

If you guys want to know how exactly this is accomplished, let me know in the comment and I will go into much more depth in my other articles.

If you enjoyed this article, be sure to subscribe below to get notified when my next article is live.

Till next time. 

About the Author Jon Go

I was Introduced to the world of seduction after being a virgin for the first 26 years of life and being dumped by my first girlfriend at the age of 28. The dating world wasn't so kind to a 28-year-old Asian man who barely had any experience with girls. But, I eventually cracked the "code" and began "attracting" two to three new girls a week on average when I was actively going out. I'm not mentioning that to impress you but to impress upon you that you can take your dating life to the next level... IF you are equipped with the right knowledge and a desire to take massive action.