Maybe it’s the girl who is sitting quietly in the front row of your class…
Or maybe it’s that girl who is squatting with a perfect form at the gym.
You are intrigued by her but you just don’t know what is the best way to approach her.
Maybe you are worried you are going to come off like a creep and blow your chance with her, or even worse, develop that reputation as a weirdo.
You may be worried you are not going to have anything to say when you talk to her.
Whatever your concern is, your head is filled with all these little voices that are encouraging you to just stay in your comfort zone and not take a risk of approaching her.
Truth be told, it isn’t exactly fun to get rejected by a girl you are into.
I still clearly remember the first time I ever approached a girl asked for her number.
I was so nervous my hand was literally shaking as I was putting in her number’s into my phone in front of her.
As nerve-wracking as it can be to approach her, I also want you to realize that anything great in life you want to attain comes with greater risk as well.
I am not going to sit here and pretend like I’ve got everything figured out in life because I clearly haven’t… but I do know one thing for certain and that is…
The sooner you become okay with failures and rejections, the faster you are going to get whatever it is you want in life.
The downside of you approaching her is her rejecting you and you and the girl going about your own life.
What then is the potential upside?
She may become your amazing friend (with benefits maybe…) who you have an incredible time with…
She may become your girlfriend who you spend the next five years of your life with…
Or she may even become the mother of your children in the future.
Some narcissists may say, “Who wants to get a girlfriend or get married in this day and age anyway…?”
In my view, that’s like a homeless beggar saying what is even the point of getting rich and becoming a millionaire since you can get sued and lose all your money.
If you have failed to form any sort of meaningful connection with girls throughout your life, fixing that should your priority.
You can worry about all those potential downfalls as they happen but it’s redundant to engage in those thoughts pre-emptively.
With that being said, let’s jump into some practical tips on how to approach her!
Smile when you approach
It just seems like common sense to smile when you approach a girl who does not know you but it is often not practiced well in real life.
There is a study that shows women find men who don’t smile to be more attractive.
This does not, however, apply when we are talking about initiating an approach with a girl who does not know you well.
One of the biggest hurdles when talking to a girl who doesn’t know you are building enough trust to the point that she’s looking forward to seeing you again.
Smiling and making a girl feel comfortable enough to keep talking to you triumphs over whatever marginal benefit (Slight increase in attraction in the study) you may get from not smiling.
It is important to note, however, that you want to make the right kind of smile.
And definitely not one of those wide ear-to-ear smiles that freaks the girl out… or those half-assed smiles that make the girl think you are a weird creep.
The ideal type of smiles when interacting with a girl is a playful smirk that exudes confidence and assuredness in yourself.
Finding the right smile for yourself may easily give you the most return out of anything you can improve on in your personality.
Look at yourself in the mirror and play around with different smiles. You can even record a video of yourself to find what type of smile suits you the best.
I know it is going to initially feel really awkward smiling in front of the mirror and camera but you simply need to get over that fear if you want to change yourself for the better.
Maintain eye contact when you approach her
Maintaining solid, steady eye contact is vital especially for the first three seconds when you approach her.
Your eye contact is an “honest signal” that shows a glimpse of who you are as a person to the girl.
When you approach her and the first thing she sees in your eyes is nervousness (which manifests as your eyes darting around and failing to maintain eye contact), then she will assume you are a weak pushover who does not deserve to be taken seriously.
On the other hand, when you are able to maintain strong unwavering eye contact, she will realize you mean business and she will treat you accordingly.
Do not show hesitation in your approach
This is one of the most common mistakes I see from guys.
You see a beautiful girl you want to talk to but you hesitate because your brain starts becoming overloaded with all different excuses.
“What if I don’t have anything to say…”
“What if I get rejected and embarrass myself…”
All those little voices that try to keep you where you are…
And even worse, the girl may notice you are constantly looking at her every few seconds with a body language that clearly communicates you want to talk to her but are too nervous to do so.
When a girl catches you hesitating to approach her, then you are almost better off not approaching her at all because it just completely KILLS your first impression in most cases.
She will assume you are a little weird creep (in 99% of cases unless she is just really physically attracted to you) and will most likely blow you out before you even finish your first sentence.
It is so vital that once you decide you are going to talk to her, you do it like you absolutely mean it.
Don’t confuse this as me telling you to approach her in a rushed erratic manner that would scare the heck out of her
But rather in a purposeful manner as if you are walking up to a longtime friend, who doesn’t know you are there, to greet him.
Next time you are about to approach a girl, pay close attention to your bodily sensation and see if you feel any sort of hesitation.
If you do feel that nervousness and tension running across your body, use it as a fuel to propel you to take action.
It can serve as great fuel for you to take that initiative because you don’t want to feel like a little bitch too stifled to go after what you want from this imaginary mental block that you created for yourself.
No generic compliment when you approach her
This is one of those things that you think would be a great idea in theory but tends to not be so great in practice.
You think when you walk up to that girl and give her a nice compliment, she will be mesmerized by your confidence and appreciate your words.
In real life, it often puts too much pressure on the girl which is never a good way to start off your interaction.
You want her to feel comfortable enough with you to continue talking to you instead of running away from you.
If you are still so determined to give her a compliment, then a better way of going about it is to compliment something that stands out from her appearance.
It can be her hair, what she is wearing, the way she is carrying herself, or even the facial expression she is making.
Whatever you notice about her at that moment is a better way to initiate a conversation because it comes off as more genuine instead of sounding like a pre-rehearsed pick-up line.
I was Introduced to the world of seduction after being a virgin for the first 26 years of life and being dumped by my first girlfriend at the age of 28. The dating world wasn't so kind to a 28-year-old Asian man who barely had any experience with girls. But, I eventually cracked the "code" and began "attracting" two to three new girls a week on average when I was actively going out. I'm not mentioning that to impress you but to impress upon you that you can take your dating life to the next level... IF you are equipped with the right knowledge and a desire to take massive action.
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