Approaching a girl can be an uncomfortable experience, and it can be even more anxiety-inducing to approach a girl at a place, such as a gym where girls primarily come to work out.
But, the gym also attracts some of the most beautiful girls out there, and you will be missing out on a ton of great opportunities to meet attractive girls if you don’t know how to properly approach them.
In this article, you will learn the most time-tested ways to approach a girl at the gym.
By the way, the ninth point in this article is by far one of the most common mistakes that men make when approaching and interacting with girls at the gym, so don’t skip that part!
1. Avoid any pick-up lines
You need to realize a gym is somewhat of a social setting.
When you use pick-up lines, it is going to make you appear inauthentic to a girl, and you are likely going to be categorized as another lame dude in her mind.
Don’t over-think how you should initiate a conversation with a girl at the gym.
You and the girl already have enough commonalities from the fact that you guys are both passionate about improving your health.
More often than not, you can simply comment about how you see her all the time in the gym, and you figured you would introduce yourself.
You want to keep it simple and straightforward when you approach a girl at the gym.
You can also comment about her style of training (Powerlifting, Olympic style weightlifting) or the exercises she is doing.
Whatever you say, just make sure you avoid cheesy pick-up lines.
2. Get your mutual gym friends to introduce you to her
If you have any friends or acquaintances at the gym, then it would be a good idea for you to use them as a bridge to get introduced to her.
Being introduced through a mutual friend is an infinitely more powerful way to get to know a girl rather than just walking up to her and initiating a conversation.
We have evolved to be social creatures, so the girl is going to feel a stronger obligation to be more friendly and receptive to you when she realizes you are mutual friends with the person she knows.
This is also the reason why you want to get to know as many people (including men and women) as you possibly can in the gym.
The more people you know at the gym, the more likely you are to come across someone that knows the girl you are into.
3. Don’t walk across to the other side of the gym to approach
A gym is not the right place to approach a girl as if you are approaching a girl at the bar or a club.
Your behaviors are easily noticed by others inside the gym, and any behavior that appears obnoxious will not go unnoticed by the people around you.
And walking up to a girl (you do not know) who is on the other side of the gym to initiate a conversation falls into that category.
I understand that you are excited to get to know your gym crush as soon as you possibly can, but it is usually a good idea to wait a little for the right opportunity.
You will most likely see her over and over again throughout the next couple of weeks, so there is no reason for you to feel like you won’t get the opportunity to talk to her again if you miss your shot right now (although there is a small possibility that she may change the gym or move to a different city).
Wait until it makes sense for you to initiate a conversation with her (e.g. when you make eye contact with her as you are walking past her or when she is lifting beside you).
Your first impression can easily make or break your chance with a girl, so you definitely do not want to rush things in a social setting like a gym.
4. Don’t be a creepy guy who only hits on girls at the gym
When you only approach girls at the gym, people will soon catch on to what you are doing, and you will be labeled as a creep who is desperate to pick up girls.
Throughout years of training at different gyms, I’ve talked to a lot of girls who lift, and you can take my word for it when I tell you that girls notice the littlest things that you do.
When you are being social at the gym, girls will take a note of your behaviors, and she will categorize you into a certain type depending on how you carry yourself with others.
If people appear to love talking to you, and they are all happy to see you, then you will most likely be categorized as a cool dude in a girl’s mind.
On the other hand, if people seem to be repelled by your approach, then she will categorize you as a weirdo that should be avoided.
So, it is in your best interest to give off an aura of a cool, friendly dude, so she is excited to talk to you before you even approach her.
5. Realize that there is no rush to pick her up
As we have been hammering over and over again in this article, there is absolutely no rush when it comes to picking up a girl at the gym.
The more you rush this process, the more likely it is for you to make a lot of female gym acquaintances that are weirded out by your presence.
And you probably don’t want that unless you enjoy changing your gym every few months.
Take your time and take full advantage of a mere exposure effect (the more a person is exposed to you, the more he or she will start to develop a liking for you).
When you take your time, you will also paint a better narrative in a girl’s mind.
The more you make her feel like everything all just naturally happened, the more likely she is going to feel happy to keep seeing you.
When you rush things, you are indirectly letting a girl know that you are needy and desperate.
No girl likes to be with a man who possesses those qualities.
So, take your time and play it cool even if you feel a strong attraction toward her.
6. Ask what other hobbies she has and suggest doing it together sometime
There is a good chance you and the girl share similar hobbies.
People who frequent the gym tend to share similar values, such as adopting a healthier diet than a general population and living a more active life than most.
Once you start talking to her, you can ask her about the different things she does outside of the gym.
And if there is any common hobby that you and the girl share, you can suggest doing it together sometime.
This can really be anything, such as rock climbing or going for a walk at the park.
It can even be you helping out with her form on certain exercises if you are more experienced than her at lifting.
It is ideal if you guys do something together in which you are the “expert”.
This will allow you to naturally assume the position of authority, and it will get a girl used to follow your lead during and after the activity.
For the same reason, it is best to avoid doing something that you are terrible at because your value will diminish in a girl’s eyes.
Paying attention to these little details of the interaction will pay off because every little thing matters when a girl is just getting to know you.
7. Greet her when you see her
This sounds simple, but it is not done frequently in practice.
You want to make sure you say hi every time you see her and bye every time you are about to leave the gym.
This simple little rule will help a girl become more comfortable around you, and you are going to become more relevant in her mind.
I’ve talked about the mere exposure effect earlier in this article and in some of my other articles as well.
The more she becomes familiar with you, the more she will tend to like you just for a mere fact that you take up more space in her mind.
We naturally tend to gravitate toward something we are familiar with, as opposed to something that is foreign to us, since most humans are incredibly resistant to changes.
And this is why you want to avoid rushing things in a social setting where you are likely to see the girl over and over again and play a longer game.
Time is on your side as long as you know how to use it to your advantage.
8. Don’t get noticed for obnoxious behaviors
This shouldn’t be too difficult to figure out for men who are not socially oblivious, but what I see on a day-to-day basis at the gym still impresses me (in a bad way).
If you believe that grunting and shouting while performing your repetition is going to exude your masculine confidence to girls, then you are mistaken.
Most girls absolutely hate men who unnecessarily draw attention to himself by being obnoxious.
Let me list some of the behaviors that are huge turn-offs and will kill your chance with most women at the gym.
- Unnecessarily dropping weights loud.
- Screaming and grunting out loud for no good reasons.
- Using 5 pieces of gym equipment at the same time and not letting others work in.
- Taking a 20-minute break between each set and wasting your time and having zero intensity in your training.
There is positive and negative attention you can draw to yourself, and all of the above behaviors fall into a latter category.
An example of positive attention is a girl seeing other attractive girls coming up to you, or her seeing people in the gym acting friendly toward you.
When you know how to create these perceptions inside the gym, you will be playing the game on an easy mode with minimal effort.
9. Let a girl come to you
You mustered up enough courage to talk to a girl, and you even had a little bit of a conversation with her.
What is one thing you want to be mindful of at this point?
There is one more thing I need you to keep in mind before you finally ask for her number and ask her out on a date.
I want you to be careful not to always be the first one to walk up to a girl to initiate a conversation with her.
It is fine (and encouraged) for you to be the first one to approach a girl at the gym and give her a chance to get to know you (since most girls will never make the first move because they are so dearly afraid of rejection).
But, once you get the ball rolling, you do not want to always be the one to chase a girl around the gym.
This is a surefire way to lose a ton of value in a girl’s eyes.
And that is why you want to let a girl come to you instead of always being the first to initiate the interaction.
But, what exactly can you do to inspire a girl to come and talk to you?
The answer is actually quite straightforward although it’s not exactly easy.
You want to make sure that you provide her with a surge of positive emotion whenever you talk to her.
If she feels positive every time she talks to you, and she feels you are nice enough to not treat her badly when she comes up to you to initiate a conversation, then it only makes sense for her to feel compelled to come and talk to you.
Don’t put so much of your focus on “what” you say. Put most of your focus on your body language, your vocal tonality, and the way you look at her.
These will all have a significantly more impact on how a girl perceives you than any specific words you can say to impress her.
Anyway, you now have all the knowledge you need to successfully approach a girl at the gym.
But, it is up to you to take the needed action to transform your dating life, so go and get it!